We Can Work It Out
by ksjf2012
Summary: Kogan and Jarlos...Drama...love...family...sequel to forever unstoppable...again sorry for confusion! :)
1. Chapter 1

_Take one every four hours_

I opened the bottle and poured out a small white pill. I set it back on my nightstand and pushed myself up. It was hard to walk only because I had to sleep on one side or the other. I couldn't lay on my back for obvious painful reasons, and I couldn't lay on my stomach because I'd start wheezing and go into an asthma attack. So it was either the left or the right side, and last night, unfortunately, I only laid on my left. On my right, I would see Kendall. Seeing Kendall only reminded me of the torture and the complete horror from two weeks ago. Seeing my beautiful peaceful Kendall sleeping, made me feel dirty and wrong for what I let happen to me. My innocence was gone.

The light switch to the bathroom was too cold this morning. I flicked it on quick anyway and walked into the bathroom, heading straight for the shower. The curtain was still closed and I stopped in front of it sighing and started to undo my bandage. I was wrapped up tight and it covered from just below my shoulder blades all the way to the very bottom of my back, just above my butt. When I found out what exactly was on my back, it made me hate myself. I was defiantly disgusting now. Everyday Kendall had to see my back; he had to see the markings of a freak. And the freak had to put his first initial with mine, in a heart. I wouldn't be surprised if at any point Kendall left me. He deserved someone else. Someone who would take care of him, and not let another man mark up his back.

I tossed the bandage onto the counter and turned to face the mirror. I carefully raised my hands in the back and started removing the Band-Aid, well all three of them, from my back. It stung, only because the tape ripped at my skin. With the first Band-Aid, on my lower back, gone I moved onto the middle. Each one had little spots of blood here and there, but it wasn't that bad anymore. I mean after a week of keeping the cuts clean and covered, taking the antibiotics, and not doing too much activity, the pain and the bleeding should be gone. But the pain was always there. Even with the pain killers. I was grateful there wasn't an infection. That could have been very painful, more so than now, and very gross. I would defiantly lose my husband then.

The last Band-Aid gone, I tossed them all in the trash and sighed stepping out of my boxers. I left them in the middle of the floor and walked back to the shower. As I reached up to pull the curtain back I stopped, fear catching up with me. I had a new sense of paranoia that everywhere, and anywhere, there was going to be Tim, with a knife ready to kill me. I think it's a very legit fear. Also, my fear and paranoia was the reason I waited to do anything until Kendall came. However, I gripped the curtain and quickly pulled it back. I noticed my breathing became harder, and I was shaking but just like all the other times, there was no one there. I sighed out hard and quickly stepped in the shower. I turned the water on quick, letting it get hot and slowly and very carefully I sat myself down. I let the water fall over my head, letting the hot water fall over my back. It stung, but it was needed. I had to make sure my back stayed clean. I sighed out and hissed at the pain, pulling my legs up to my chest and then putting my head on my knees.

I sat for…5 maybe 10 minutes. I had no energy to do anything. My fingers were wrinkly like raisins but I didn't care. I hadn't realized I had left the curtain open, and I guess it was my fault I let myself get so scared when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped up, literally jumped in the air standing. I looked down, breathing hard and saw Kendall on his knees by the shower eyes wide. I closed my eyes tight and turned my head away.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you." I put up a hand and shook my head.

"My fault." I opened my eyes to see him standing. He was still in his sweats and white shirt from last night. I looked him down and then looked back at his face. He looked pained and I smiled. "Did I wake you up?" He shook his head fast. I sighed and nodded turning my attention back to the water. I let it fall down the front of my body not caring how hot it still was.

"Do you…want some help?" It was barely a whisper and all I could do was nod. I could see in the corner of my eye him lifting his shirt. Just seeing the way his muscles worked when he lifted the shirt up and over his head, made me wish he would touch me or look at me like he wanted me. Like he wanted to have sex. Let alone at least make out. He tossed the shirt to the ground and pushed off his sweats and boxers and slowly stepped in.

He just stood behind me for a minute. I had to lean against the shower wall, just to keep myself together. Since day one of being with him, he has made me feel vulnerable, and very self-conscious. I never really thought I was extremely attractive. Especially with a friend like James, or a husband like Kendall. I just…don't compete looks wise with them. I knew Kendall was with me because he really did love me. But sometimes, especially now, I had to wonder if he was still here because he felt bad for me. I was the pity case of the year.

I let out a sharp gasp feeling a wash cloth touch my back. I tensed up but calmed down when there was a soft kiss to the back of my neck. Just feeling his lips, hot and soft on my skin, sent my senses into overdrive. I guess my body reacted to, and I guess he took it as something bad, because they were gone, very fast.

"Sorry…" It was a soft whisper and he continued to wash my back.

"Me too."

"For what?" I smiled and closed my eyes.

"For you having to take care of me." There was a soft sigh behind me and I slowly opened my eyes.

"Logan…I'm your husband. It's my job to take care of you, and I'm going to take care of you for the rest of our lives." That didn't seem to help. Guilt rushed from my brain to the tip of my toes. Of course. Here we were again. Me being the weak pathetic loser, while Kendall came in and saved me and the day. Maybe it would have been best if Tim had killed me. "You know I love you right?" I couldn't help the shivers running down my back. I turned quick and faced him. He put the wash cloth down and looked down at the ground.

"How could you?"

"How could I what Logan?" His voice was calm, cool, collected. He wouldn't look me in the eyes, not that I wanted him too.

"How could you still want me…still love me…" He looked up, the sadness and pain very evident on his face. "I'm…a freak now Kendall! I have this hideous scar on my back that is a constant reminder that I didn't listen to you about him. That I didn't trust you! How could you still want me?" He moved closer to me and I turned my head quick.

"You're not a freak Logan, you're a victim." I turned to him anger rising.

"You think that makes me feel better?" it came out barely a whisper which surprised me. I was so pissed, at myself mostly, and I wasn't showing it very well. Especially because I was crying. "I'd rather be a freak then a victim Kendall. Ever since we met, age 7, when you came to sit with the weird loner kid with huge thick glasses, and a book shoved in his face, you've been the tough guy. The hero. And I've been the guy you've had to save. I'm sick and tired of it Kendall. I want to be normal…I want to be able to defend myself. I want to be able to save you every now and then, but I never can…I…I never can." I looked down and shook my head quickly wiping my eyes.

"Logan, I love you. My job as your husband is to protect and love you. Tell death do us part." I looked up and he looked very hurt. Probably because of what I said. More guilt. "No one has ever understood me like you do. No one has even given me time to explain myself. Except you." He reached up and cupped my face. Again just the smallest contact form him, made my head spin. I had to reach out to him. I had to…touch him, make sure it was really him. "I don't care if you feel like a freak or a victim. You deal with this the way you need to. I am not here to judge you, or make you feel bad about yourself. I'm here to protect and love you, and the more you cry and not talk to me, the more I know I am not doing my job."

"Kendall…don't say that…please…" I pushed into him fast and let my arms wrap tight around him. His hands moved to the back of my head and held me. I cried pretty hard on his chest and he let me. Not doing his job? What did he call this?

"Forever and the rest of my life, you will always be the first person I look after. You are always going to be my number one priority. No matter what you say, or how hard you fight me on it. I will always be the tough guy and the hero because that's what you need." I sobbed out and he reached behind me, moving us slightly and turned off the water. "Let me get you dry and bandaged up again." He kissed into my hair and led me out of the shower. He made quick to grab a towel and wrap it around my waist. He gently pushed me down on the closed toilet lid. I stared up at him, still crying slightly, as he wrapped his towel around his waist and grabbed another towel. He spun me carefully so my back was facing him. He gently started patting my back and for some reason it made me cry worse. I don't know if it was from pain, because I don't really know what's going on anymore. I just let my body take over my emotions. And Kendall took notice. He tossed the towel on the floor and quickly grabbed three more bandages under the sink. He put them on, gently but firmly and once again, grabbed the ace bandage. He wrapped me up tight, making sure I was covered completely and when he straightened up and put his hands under my arms, I let him left me. I let him walk me out over to my dresser and open the top drawer. He grabbed a pair of boxers and put them on me. I was still crying, hard and loud as he walked me over to the bed and set me down. He pushed me a little and I turned quick to lay on my right side, facing his side of the bed. He covered me quick and kissed my head. "I knew to wake up Emma. She has picture day at school. I'll go get her ready and bring her in before I take her." I nodded and he wiped some tears. "Would like company?" I turned my head and scrunched my eyebrows together. He laughed and wiped both my eyes. "I'll be right back."

I laid for a few minutes hearing Emma whine and then remember it was picture day and run into the bathroom. At least that made me smile. Knowing my little girl was still alright, still happy made me happy. She started singing to herself as she brushed her hair, or I assumed. And then I heard Kendall walk into Matthew's room and I finally understood what he meant about company. I smiled wide and quickly wiped my face. I snuggled deep into my pillow and pushed the blankets back for him to bring him in. When I heard the footsteps I turned and sat up smiling very wide. Matthew, awake, but very sleepy looking was in Kendall's arms, his favorite blue blanket and his favorite teddy bear in his hands. He grinned when he saw me and tried getting out of Kendall's grasps. But Kendall walked over to his side of the bed and set him down gently. I lay back down and lifted the blankets for Matthew. He got in putting his teddy and blanket in between us and giggled pushing into me. I wrapped an arm around him and held him close to me. Kendall smiled and walked to his closet, grabbing a pair of black jeans and a white and grey flannel shirt.

I let my eyes close again Matthew snoring quietly in my arms already. I heard Kendall move around, change and get himself ready for the day, but as soon as he left, to get Emma ready for school my mind slipped into a state of sleep. I have been having really bad dreams since the night Tim took me, but in these 20 minutes of just sleeping, with my baby boy, it was completely dreamless. No visions of what Tim did, no seeing Kendall screaming and crying, trying to help me. It was just sleep. Peaceful, perfect sleep.

"Logan…" I opened my eyes and saw Matthew fast asleep, sprawled out on his back. I felt a kiss to my ear and turned my head seeing Kendall over me. He smiled and ran a hand through my hair. "Emma wants to show you her dress." I smiled and nodded. He helped me sit up and when I turned my body, I almost cried. She had a little white dress on with a pink bow around the middle. She had white socks, and black shoes on tied by Kendall no doubt. But her hair was still down and a little messy. "Doesn't she look cute?" I glanced at Kendall and he laughed sitting on the edge of the bed. "Come here Emma." She ran to him and jumped in his arms. I saw for the first time, a brush a hair tie and a pink ribbon in her hands. "II suck at hair…you know that. And if you're too tired or sore…"

"I would love to do her hair." They both turned to me and she grinned like a mad women. She jumped out of Kendall's arms and walked over to me, on the bed. I had her sit in between my legs as I took the brush from her hands.

We spent the next ten minutes, sitting and talking while I did her hair. She told me, she was going to help daddy out around the house while I was sick in bed. Kendall and I didn't really think it would go over well with the kids if we told them what really was wrong with me, considering my back, so Kendall told both of them I wasn't feeling well, and wouldn't for a little while. So just hearing that she was willing to help Kendall out made my heart swell. When I finished her hair, a simple pony tail, with a pink ribbon in a bow around it, she turned to me and hugged around my neck. I kissed her cheek and she giggled jumping off the bed. She ran out of the room telling Kendall she was ready. I laid back down, on my side facing the door and watched Kendall walk back in the room. Of course, all I could think about was how incredibly good he looked at that moment. Tight black jeans, tight in the right spots. His flannel shirt, which he usually wore rolled up on the sleeves, now down, had the first three buttons undone showing his chest and the very little hair he had there. He was still barefoot, but walked into his closet after grabbing socks and slipped on black and white converse. I had to grip the sheets of the bed, to make sure I didn't jump on him and do what I wished to his body. He stopped in front of me and kneeled down. One hand held the side of my face, while the other pet through my hair. I smiled at him and he chuckled.

"I know that look." I blushed and closed my eyes.

"What look?" He laughed again and I felt a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"That look that your thinking about something…naughty and you don't know what to do with yourself." I opened my eyes and he had a half smile…a cocky half smile on his face. I sighed out in frustration and sat up, leaning on my elbow, grabbed the sides of his face and pulled his lips into mine. He was now prisoner to me. The only way he could break free is if I pulled away or…

"Daddy?" We broke apart and I fell back onto my side. He stood up and turned. Emma was standing in the doorway bouncing on her toes. She had her pink coat on, with her pink hello kitty back pack on as well and in her hand she had a big envelope. "My teacher said I have to have my daddies fill this out." She walked to us and I sat up while Kendall picked her up and put her on his lap. I took the package from her and smiled. It was the package option for the pictures and I quickly pulled out the paperwork and took a pen from my nightstand drawer.

I put the paperwork back in the envelope and Kendall took it from me, putting it in her backpack. "I chose the biggest option. We have a huge family." He nodded and I reached again for the nightstand for my wallet.

"Don't' worry babe, I got it. How much?" I smiled and reached out to take Emma. She got in my lap and I hugged around her.

"Its 68." He nodded but sighed.

"Pretty steep for a first grade picture package." I glared at him and he smiled. "But worth every cent." I kissed Emma's head and he picked her up putting her on his hip. "I'm going to run to the store. Get some chocolate milk for Matthew and were out of laundry soap. Do you need anything?" I lay back down on my side and smiled.

"Maybe some new movies for me and Matt. We've almost gone through the entire collection." He laughed and nodded.

"I'll get some good ones. I love you."

"Love you too. I love you Emma. Have a fun day at school!" She waved and smiled big at me.

"I love you too papa! Bye Mattie!" I heard a groan form behind me and laughed, turning to face him as Kendall walked out with Emma. When I faced Matthew completely, he frowned and pushed into me, sticking his thumb in his mouth. I kissed the side of his head and smiled.

Finally for the first time in the past two weeks, especially in the last week, I've been home, I felt sincerely happy.

**SO…I HAD A LOT OF TROUBLE WITH THIS. IF I COULD PHYSICALLY KICK THIS STORY, I WOULD. I GOT A LOT OF GOOD IDEAS FROM MY LOVELY AND AWESOME READERS AND I TRIED TO BRING IN THOSE IDEAS. I THINK I REWROTE THIS FIRST CHAPTER LIKE…5 TIMES? YEAH IT'S MY ENEMY RIGHT NOW. BUT I MUST SAY…I LIKE WHERE THIS IS STARTING AND I HAVE A LOT OF DRAMA READY FOR THIS. IT'S NTO GOING TO BE A THRILLER LIKE THE FIRST. THIS IS STRICTLY GOING TO BE DRAMA. AND IT'S GOING TO HAVE MORE JARLOS IN IT…SO BE PREPARED. IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING…HAVE SOMETHING DONE…LET ME KNOW. I AM UP FOR SUGGESTIONS. THANKS FOR READING!**


	2. Chapter 2: James Diamond Is On My Mind

_James Diamond is on my mind_

"You're total is going to be…103.78." I smiled at the girl behind the counter and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, a five, three quarters and three pennies. She smiled and put the money in the register, and then took out two dollar bills. "Your change is going to be two dollars. Would you like your receipt with you, or in the bag?"

"Bag please." She nodded and put the receipt in with the movies. She handed me the bag and gave another very friendly smile. "Thank you."

"Have a good day." She waved and I walked out laughing. Girls knew I was gay because they knew who I was. But that did not stop most of them from hitting on me, flirting and getting me to sign their left tits. And it was always the left tit. Could never understand that one.

I walked out to my car and got in, putting the bag of movie sin the seat next to me. I got them five more movies, all animated ones we didn't have and I even got myself one. Because Logan had to stay in the hospital for an extra week, and the week he has been home has been busy and crazy, we didn't really have time to celebrate my birthday. I honestly didn't mind. I didn't like having the attention on me. It was already a week after my birthday so I really didn't care, but I thought I should get myself something. And walking through best buy got me interested in the movies so I got the very first Spiderman movie. It was almost fifty bucks, but I didn't care.

As I was stopped at a red light I heard my phone ringing from my pocket and panic rose in my chest. If it was Logan he either wanted me to get something else, or something happened. I really hoped for the first. But it wasn't even Logan. It was James. I scrunched my brows and clicked answer sitting back a little.

"James?" I heard him laugh and then groan at something. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing major…I mean…" He groaned again and I checked in my rearview mirror at the left way and quickly got in it. He might not say there was anything wrong but it wasn't going to stop me from checking up on him. "Carlos went to take Jessie to school and then was going to have breakfast with his parents, and I don't want to interrupt because he's been waiting to do this…" I cut him off chuckling.

"James I'm on my way. What happened?"

"I just wanted some God damn Cheerios!" I laughed and got on the freeway to turn around and go into Beverly Hills to their house.

"Give me two minutes." He sighed but agreed and as I hung up I quickly dialed Logan. It took a few rings for him to answer but he did, and that is all that mattered.

"Hey baby…" He sounded so tired maybe even sore and I felt so bad.

"I'm sorry…I woke you up again didn't I?" He laughed and I heard him moving around.

"No…I mean…okay yeah." I laughed and he sighed. "I need to get up anyway."

"You need to rest babe." He sighed and I shook my head. "I got a call from James. He needs some help and Carlos is out with his parents for breakfast, DO you mind?" He laughed I could hear him walking.

"Kendall…go help our best friend. I'm fine. He needs you more than I do right now. In fact…I think I might clean while your gone…show you how much I appreciate you." I smiled small and got off the freeway. "Just take care of James and come home whenever. I will call if I need you."

"Okay…you're sure?" He sighed very sassy and I laughed. "Okay, okay…I love you."

"I love you too." I hung up and pushed my phone back in my pocket. I drove through a few streets until I got on James and Carlos's and stopped in front. James's sports car was parked out front in the driveway, looking very alone. I laughed just thinking about how upset he must be not being able to drive it.

I jumped out my car and walked up the front getting inside without even knocking. "James?"

"Pantry." I laughed and walked through their house until I got in the kitchen and walked through it stopping at the huge open pantry. Sitting on his butt, leaning against the shelves was James. It looked like he was eating the spilled cheerio's off the ground and it made me laugh. Hard. He looked up and groaned, throwing some at me. "Shut up! I tried getting the box down with my crutch but it fell; hit me in the face, spilled all over the floor. I tried turning to get the broom but my crutch got on one and made me slip." I turned very serious quick and bent down.

"Shit…are you alright?" He laughed and nodded but I could see the pain in his face. "Your knee?" He nodded and I sighed grabbing his crutches off the floor and leaning them against the wall. "Okay…I'm going to pick you up." I put his arm around my shoulders and quickly and effortlessly lifted him. He hissed in pain for a second and I quickly handed him his crutches. I kicked some cheerios out of the way and he stepped out, keeping his leg lifted. I followed him as he walked out to the living room just to make sure he was okay. He got to the couch and fell back sighing hard. I took his crutched for him and let him put up the recliner. "So you want some cereal?" He laughed and nodded. I turned to walk away but something caught my eye. For the first time in…forever, James's exposed chest and stomach got my attention. Not that i hadn't looked before and thought he was a God like creature, but now…I don't know. There seemed to be something different about him.

"See something you like pervert?" I rolled my eyes and walked back into his kitchen. I swept up the o's first and seeing the box completely empty I grabbed a box of frosted flakes.

"Frosted Flakes okay?" I grabbed the milk from the fridge and heard him laugh.

"Even better!" I laughed and quickly poured them into his blue bowl he had waiting. "Hey can you also grab a pill bottle up on the bar. It should be the only one there. It's for the pain." I looked and saw it nodding. "I know I'm a pain in the ass." I laughed and put milk in the bowl. I put everything back in its lace, grabbed a spoon and his pills and bowl and walked out to him.

He had his flat screen on and it looked like he was in too much pain to change the channel. Clearly Jessie was watching cartoons last night because it was still on the Disney Channel. I set his bowl on the table by the couch and opened the pill bottle. "One?" He opened his eyes and nodded taking a glass of water next to him. I gave him one and watched him swallow it with the water. Some of the water escaped his mouth and slowly trailed down his chin onto his bare chest. I caught myself looking again and kicked myself. I quickly walked to the seat on the couch next to him and sighed out sitting down.

"Thank you Kendall…you're a life saver. I mean…I could have died in there."

"Don't be a drama queen." He chucked next to me and picked up his bowl and quickly put a spoonful in his mouth.

"So…how's the fam?" I shrugged my shoulders and turned to him.

"Emma told Logan this morning she was going to start helping out around the house since Logan's "sick"." He looked at me weird and I smiled. "I didn't really feel like telling my 6 and 4 year old their dad was kidnapped, raped and cut up." He nodded and ate slowly. "Matthew and he are connected at the hip, both of them spending the entire day together. And Logan…I don't know. It's like he has this on off switch in his brain. One minute he's happy and fine and the next, something reminds him of what happened and he's crying, asking me how I could love him still. It happens every day James. And all I can do is hold him and tell him it will get better, but I don't feel like I'm making him happy. Or that I'm helping him at all." I felt something wet hit my chest and realized I was crying. "I'm a bad husband James. I let the love of my life…my everything get hurt. This…this is all my fault." I closed my eyes and let more tears fall. I heard him set his bowl down and then move around. His hands were on my shoulders and he was pulling me into his chest.

"Kendall…please don't talk like that. This isn't your fault. It's Tim's alright." I was crying but it was sobs, or violent. It was just tears coming out. "You are the reason Logan is here. You are the reason Logan is still alive, and I know that's hard to hear but it's the truth. You are not a bad husband Kendall Knight." I pushed into him and wrapped around his stomach. My tears were making his chest wet and I felt ridiculous.

"I'm sorry James." I pushed away from him and wiped my face sighing hard. He laughed and shook his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is what friends are for." I smiled and nodded. He smiled big and quickly grabbed his crutches. "Speaking of friends…" He started limping away to the hall and I got up following him fast. He walked into the room they use as an "office". Keep track of bills, papers for Jessie…that sort of thing. He set down in a swirly chair and grinned at me. Open that closet and grab the big box on the top shelf." I laughed and wiped my eyes again but opened the closet anyway. I really wished I hadn't. "Sorry were a little late. We wanted to give you and Logan some space so we kept your present here. Happy 30th birthday Kendall!" I turned to him quick and he smiled. "Well get it…open it! I want to see your reaction. Come on…" He poked me with one of his crutches and I reluctantly reached in and grabbed the huge box. If I knew Carlos and James as well as I thought I did I already knew what it was. I could also tell Carlos did the wrapping. It was all perfect and clean. It also had Spiderman all over it. I st it on the ground and looked at James. He was grinning again and I shook my head getting on my knees. I sighed and took of the bow. I leaned over and put it on his chest. He laughed and leaned forward watching em eagerly. I quickly started tearing at the wrapping and he giggled like a school girl. When I got the wrapping cleared off the top I sat back on my feet and heard a gasp leave my body. Sitting in the box with a clear cover to show in the inside was a brand new acoustic guitar, back with a beautiful dark brown wood inside. I looked up at him mouth hanging open like an idiot and he grinned sitting back. "I knew you'd love it."

"James…this is…absolutely breathtaking." He gave a half smile and I shook my head. "You guys did not…have to do this."

"Of course we did. Every year we compete with Logan to get you the best gift. So…did we out do him this year?" I looked away quick, and felt something odd run through my body. It wasn't anger, but it wasn't happiness either. "Let me guess…diamond incased hockey stick?" I closed my eyes and fell back completely on my butt. "Kendall?...what's wrong?" I shook my head. "Come on…your my best friend…what's wrong." I opened my eyes and slowly looked up at him. His eyebrows were raised slight concern washing over his face. Again I let myself notice how extremely good looking James Diamond, my best friend was.

"We…we didn't do anything for my birthday." His face fell and he sat back a little. "And…I don't care. Logan is hurt and needs to be taken care of." I pulled my legs to my chest and sighed out hard.

"I'm sorry Kendall…I had no idea." I nodded and watched him carefully. "Did he say anything to you? Like…happy birthday?" I shook my head quick and he sighed. "I'm really sorry Kendall." I laughed and pushed myself up. There were a lot of thoughts running through my mind. A lot of…dangerous and bad thoughts. And it wasn't my fault. I blamed James.

He looked so good. I was a little lonely, not having much attention from my husband. And I wasn't mad at him for that. I was just…lonely, in a way that I wasn't getting any. And the fact that James, my hot best friend, got me a birthday present, hell even remembered my birthday, made me do the dumbest things I've ever done. But it was one of the best I've ever done also.

I went towards him, grabbed his face and kissed him hard. I was really expecting him to push me away hard. To yell at me and call em out on cheating on my husband. But what I wasn't expecting was for him to hold my sides and pull me into him. He deepened our kiss and forced me to climb on his lap. I didn't think about what I was doing, because then I would have stopped, and there was no way in hell I wanted to stop. But a thought did come to my mind. I knew why I kissed him, but why was James kissing me back and kissing me back so passionately?

I pulled away from him but he continued the kisses down to my neck. "James…we're married." He pushed away and gripped my hips.

"That didn't stop you from kissing me in the first place."

"Why'd you kiss back?"

"Why'd you kiss first?" We stared at each other and I let myself relax on his lap. He held me so I wouldn't fall. He held me like I hold Logan. And I've never been held. This was new to me. But I liked it. "Carlos and I haven't really been having the best…bedroom life lately." I put my hands on his shoulders and he chuckled, mostly to himself. "It started after my birthday…you know…a few months ago? Don't ask me why…I couldn't even begin to tell you. All I know is every time I tried to…love him, touch him, get intimate with him, he'd turn away." He looked me in my eyes and I saw something in his. Hurt? Confusion? "After the first couple times I got pissed which caused another fight. And then we wouldn't even try to make up. It was like; we were fighting for no God damn reason. So after a while I gave up. I didn't want Jessie hearing us fighting anymore and I didn't want to be rejected either. That really does something to a guy's ego, ya know?" I nodded and he gripped my hips again, shrugging his shoulders. "I kissed you back because that was the first kiss, in a very long time where it felt like someone needed me." I turned my head and he laughed. "Your turn Knight." I sighed and moved my hands down from his shoulders to his chest.

"I'm…I'm trying to adjust my life to being so…depended on. I guess…I've always been depended on by Logan but now…it's…I don't know." I turned back to him and his hands moved to the small of my back. "I'm in so much pain right now James. The mental toll of what happened with Logan…it makes me, I don't know. There is no one for me, like I'm there for Logan and don't' get me wrong, I love being there for Logan but I need someone now and I don't know who to turn to ." He chuckled and sat up holding em still.

"SO I'm chopped liver or what?" I frowned and he smiled. "What are friends for Kendall. I'm here for you, you're here for me. That's how these things work."

"Yeah but we crossed the line…we kissed James. We have husbands."

"That don't need to know because it would destroy them, especially Logan." I quickly laid my body down on his and put my head on his shoulder. His hands rubbed up my back and I closed my eyes. "If I proposed something to you…something that would probably make us closer, can I have your word that you won't freak out?" I laughed and already knew where this was going.

"You have my word James Diamond."

"Well then Mr. Knight…I propose we…be there for each other, whenever we need to. Like right now, I know I need you, and I can tell you need me."

"So what do we do about it?" His fingers moved back down my back and when they went up the next time, they pushed my shirt up with them. His hands were cold but I loved it. "And no one ever knows?"

"No one needs to. Just something…between two best friends who really need each other in desperate times."


	3. Chapter 3: Late Birthday's

_Late Birthday's and Visits to the ER_

I was in pain, yes but I didn't want to be a loser and sit in bed all day again. Matthew was asleep, still and seemed to not want to wake up anytime soon. So I held him, as I made a pot of coffee, picked up random toys on the floor, and then put dishes away. My back was killing me yes, but Matthew is only 4. It's not like he's 200 pounds. I could carry him and climb the stairs when I wasn't sore, so now I could hold him while cleaning up a bit. I wanted…no needed to show Kendall that I was able to take car of myself, and maybe he could sit back and relax every now and then. For as much stuff as I have put through Kendall, I should pay him back a bit.

As much as I loved holding my baby boy, I needed to sweep and mop the floor and I needed both arms, so I carried him out into the living room, and set him in his daddy's big chair. Kendall's chair was like…a third kid to him. He absolutely adored this chair and whenever he was sitting in it, I knew he was trying to relax. Matthew always managed to climb in the chair with him, and more times than not, they would fall sleep with each other. So I sat him down, quickly covered him with a blanket, and kissed his head. I walked back into the kitchen and sighed grabbing the broom.

I cleaned around the whole kitchen for almost a half hour before there were soft knocks at the front door. The paranoia and fear was there but I walked out into the living room anyway. I realized I was still only in boxers and just the ace bandage around my torso. There was a laundry basket on the end of the couch with clean clothes and I dug through it finding a pair of my grey sweats and one of Kendall's sweaters. I pulled them on fast and ran to the door. I hesitated and there were more knocks, this time louder and more urgent so I quickly swung the door open. I sighed out and smiled. Carlos was standing on the door mat, a tiny smile on his lips and a Starbucks cup in his hand.

"Hey Logan!" He moved in and hugged me. His arms went low, around my waist as to not touch my back and I held around his neck, pulling him in tight. "How are you doing buddy?" I smiled and squeezed around him tighter. For some reason…I don't know if we did this on purpose but Carlos and I are a lot closer than me and James. Just like Kendall and James are a lot closer then Kendall and Carlos. Carlos was literally my best friend in the entire world, and I loved him like a brother. Carlos knew me better then Kendall knew me sometimes. He knew when there was something seriously bothering me. And he always knew what to say to make me feel 100% better. "Let's get inside and eat some raw cookie dough." I laughed against his neck and let go of him.

He walked in, shutting the door and I led him out to the kitchen. Matthew was still sound asleep in the big chair and I heard Carlos chuckle behind me. We both walked to the fridge and I searched a bit before finding a package of already made cookie dough. Kendall must have got it for the Kids because it was Halloween cookies. I checked the expiration date to make sure we wouldn't die when we ate it, but it was taken from my hands and Carlos was already opening the package. "What's life without a little risk?" I laughed and we moved to the kitchen table sitting next to each other.

"It's a life where you're alive." He chuckled and quickly tore some dough off and threw it in his mouth. "I thought you had breakfast with your parents?" He cocked his head and chewed slowly. I laughed and took some for myself. "Kendall called. He said James called him and asked if he could come over and help him. James didn't want to interrupt your breakfast." Carlos swallowed hard and looked down, sitting back all the way. "Was…is there something going on?" He nodded and I nodded my head knowing sooner or later, Carlos would tell me on his own rime. I took another piece of the dough and leaned against the table. I could see it in his body language there was something seriously going on and as much as I loved Carlos and respected the hell out of him, I hated seeing him like this. "Please talk to me Carlos." He lifted his head and put his elbows on the table. He ran his hands over his face and sighed out hard.

"I'm cheating on James." I literally chocked on the piece of dough in my mouth and he glared at me. I covered my mouth and cleared my throat. That wasn't something you just blurted out of nowhere. This was something you told your best friend, and you told him everything from the very beginning. I took my hand off my mouth and raised my eyebrows and let my mouth hang open.

"I'm sorry? I don't think I heard you right…" He smiled and nodded taking another piece of dough.

"No you did…and if I could ask my best friend to not judge me right now so I could explain, I'd appreciate it." I closed my mouth quick and nodded. "Well okay…the night Jessie went missing at James birthday party; I saw a completely different side of James Diamond. He…he was so upset Logan. He completely blamed himself, and I blamed along with him. I know…I know husband of the year." He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "When I took Jessie to school Monday morning I met a guy. He is a single father and really sweet. And at the time, he was the one person I could go to…and let everything go. Forget about my married life, forget about my kid." That took me back a bit. It's one thing to push your husband aside and cheat, but when you push away your kid too…that wasn't like Carlos. "I don't feel bad for what I've done either. I mean the first time we had sex, he looked me in the eyes. He made me feel wanted, and very special. Something James has never really done. I guess it's alight though…I mean James is so full of himself, it must be hard to think of anyone else in the big dumb stupid head." He sat back, crossing his arms over his chest and sighed.

"Carlos…when did you start feeling like this and why haven't you told James?" He shrugged his shoulders and I shook my head. I was mad at Carlos. This isn't how you handle things in life. "Carlos you need to tell James. He deserves to know."

"Ya think?" We glared at each other and he stood up walking to the sink and getting a glass of water. "I'm going to file for divorce. "That made me jump up fast and he laughed sipping his water. When he set it down he shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the counter. "Logan…I have never been right for James. I am not for him! He needs someone hotter than him. He needs someone who wants to wake up to him every morning. I don't anymore and that's awful because I've loved him since I met him. But were not kids anymore. We're all growing up. I mean Jesus Christ, Kendall just turned 30 and then it's' going to be me turning 30…"

"Wait what?" He stopped and scrunched his eyebrows. "What did you just say? Kendall turned…no…no please tell me I did not forget…" I walked to the fridge and quickly scanned over the calendar. It was still on October and I turned to Carlos who walked over to me. "What is the date?"

"The 8th of November…why?" I turned to the next page in the calendar and saw the 2nd highlighted with my handwriting on it. It was just a reminder to make sure he knew I was going to go all out for his birthday this year. This was a big year…he turned 30 and I forgot. "Logan what's wrong?"

"I forgot his birthday…" I stared at him and he didn't really do anything. He probably didn't know what to do. In my mind what I had done to Kendall was worse than what he was doing to James. "I was…so selfish I didn't even remember his birthday."

"Logan I can hardly call you being in a hospital bed, being selfish." I looked down and slowly put everything together. That was why Kendall seemed distant. He hated me for forgetting his birthday.

"Papa?" I turned to see Matthew walking towards me rubbing his left eye. Something seemed off about him, I bent down quick and felt my stomach flip. Matthew was very pale. His eyes seemed sunken in and a little dark. "Papa…I feel sick." I pulled him in and felt his forehead. He was burning up. "I feel weak papa." I held onto him and knew, no matter how much I knew about medicine and sick people; I knew there was nothing in this house that could help him. I turned my head and looked up at Carlos. He put up his hand and shook his head.

"I'll drive you guys to the ER." I nodded and quickly picked up Matthew.

The drive was fast but quiet. With everything that has happened today, well just this morning, made my head spin. First Carlos cheating, me forgetting Kendall's Birthday and now Matthew so sick, he can barely stand himself up. I tried not to think that this was all some kind of way for God to show me things can absolutely get worse. Carlos parked and we both quickly got out. I walked in, hating that it had to come to this and Carlos did most of the talking for me, except when I gave the front desk lady his information and our insurance card. She had us wait and sit in the waiting room until he was called back. I realized then that I needed to call Kendall but I didn't bring my phone so I turned to Carlos.

"Can you call Kendall?" He smiled and got up walking outside, dialing his phone. Matthew sat in my lap, sucking his thumb and watched the nurses and doctors walking by us. I tried to keep myself calm but when you're sitting in the ER waiting room with your son, the calm factor was thrown out the window. Carlos came back in, saying Kendall was on his way and was bringing James. I stared at him and he sighed.

"Please…don't say anything. I'll tell him soon I just want it to be me who tells him." I put up my hands and shrugged my shoulders.

We waited for 10 minutes and there was still no doctor or nurse coming out to see us. But Kendall and James did show up and I didn't even have time to sit up and go to Kendall, because he was running towards us. Matthew stirred in my arms and reached out for Kendall who picked him up and hugged around him tight.

"What hurts buddy?" I could hear Matthew say something but it wasn't clear. Kendall nodded and quickly sat next to me. I then saw James walk in, on crutches and could already feel the tension between the two. "I need to tell you something." I turned to Kendall and smiled.

"Yeah?" He sighed and put Matthew's head on his shoulder facing away from us. He sighed and looked over at James who sighed as well.

"Carlos can we talk outside?" Carlos got up and nodded, not even looking at him. I really hoped Carlos would tell him now. I don't know how long I could hold all that in. I turned back to Kendall and he was staring at me.

"I kissed James." I stared at him and started laughing. He frowned and sat back. "Why is that funny?" I chuckled and sat back as best as I could.

"I've kissed James before too." He sat up, making Matthew stir and I pushed him back. "Calm down…look…did you guys have…" I winked and his mouth flew open.

"NO! I mean…we talked about it." I froze and he turned to face me. "But that was because we both thought we needed each other that way. I guess him and Carlos are having a rough patch and I…" He stopped and I reached out grabbing his hand. "I know you are in pain and you're going to need some time to recover, but it's been hard for me too…mentally. I honestly don't remember the last time I got a full 8 hours of sleep, because all I see is what happened to you and it kills me to know I did nothing to stop him." So I wasn't the only one to feel this guilt. Was I mad at Kendall for even thinking about cheating? Yes. But…he didn't. And all I could think of is why?

"So then why didn't you and James?" He laughed and rubbed Matthews back.

"Because I don't need someone else to feel safe or loved. All I need is you. I mean I gave you that big speech about how you can always come to me for anything and what do I do? Turn to the first guy with a nice six pack." I laughed and he frowned. "So…you don't hate me and want a divorce?" I smiled and leaned in kissing him.

"I could never hate you. I am mad you thought about cheating but…we can work it out babe. We can make it all okay. We just need to learn to go to each other when we need to, or whenever we just want to cuddle." He nodded and leaned in again kissing me. However we pulled away hearing James's crutches. I was a little concerned seeing only James. "Where's Carlos?" James walked over to us and took the seat next to me.

"Uhm…he left…" I could see tears pouring out of his eyes and knew Carlos told him. "He had to deal with some things…"

"James he told you about the affair?" He turned to me quick and widened his eyes.

"The what?" I swallowed hard and tried to think of a way to fix this…but nothing was coming to mind. Thankfully I heard Matthew's name get called and stood up fast. "Wait…what affair Logan?" I was turned to face James and sighed.


	4. Chapter 4: Am I Going To Die?

_Am I Going to Die?_

I stood behind Logan's chair biting my nails furiously. I hated seeing my 4 year old son, in a hospital bed, with an IV in his arm. I hated seeing him so…sick looking. What was worst is that no one…not one single doctor was coming in and telling us what was wrong with him. They made us sit out for almost two hours while they ran tests on him and then let us back into see him, but no one told us what kind of tests they ran and if he was okay.

"Kendall…please calm down…" I watched Logan stand and walk to the bed. He carefully lifted himself up on the bed and took Matthews little right hand. He held it and gently rubbed over it, looking down at him, smiling. I saw Matthew start to move around and then flutter his eyes open. Matthew smiled big and him and then turned to me.

"Papa? Daddy?" I smiled and walked over, getting right next to Logan and putting a hand Matthew's head, and running my fingers through his hair.

"Hey buddy. How do you feel?" Matthew went to reach for his IV but both Logan and I stopped him. "You have to leave that in."

"It itches papa." I smiled and put my free hand on the back of Logan's neck, holding it gently. "I feel better. I don't feel so weak." I saw the smile on Logan's face disappear and knew, just knew, Logan could tell what was wrong with him. "I'm like you now papa. I'm sick too!" Logan bent down and kissed his head and laughed.

"That's not something I want baby." Matthew giggled and I turned hearing the door open. A doctor, in his late 60's it looked like walked in holding a clipboard, with a smile on his face.

"Matthew my boy, you're awake!" Logan went to stand but I kept him down as the doctor walked on the other side of the bed, still smiling. "I have to say…you were very brave. Probably the bravest kid I've ever seen!" Matthew giggled and the doctor turned to us. He extended his hand I made quick to shake it. "Doctor Baker."

"Kendall Knight. This is my husband, Logan." Logan shook his hand and the doctor pulled up a chair sitting down. "So…is he okay?" Logan quickly grabbed my hand on the back of his neck and held it in his squeezing it.

"Well I have news. Matthew is going to be fine. In fact he is very healthy and strong. He is a very healthy 4 year old. However…" I squeezed Logan's hand and the doctor flipped through the papers on the clipboard. "Your son's insulin levels were very, very low." I scrunched my eyebrows and heard a sigh, almost of relief from Logan.

"He has diabetes." The doctor turned to Logan and gave a small smile and nodded. I looked between the two and Logan smiled, pushing hair off Matthews forehead. "His body doesn't produce enough insulin which breaks down the sugar into energy which he needs. Hence the reason he was weak and really sleepy." I had heard about diabetes but I always thought it happened to overweight people.

"So…he's okay?" The doctor smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Most cases of type 1 diabetes happens in the early childhood and with proper medicine and treatment, he can learn to live with this and live a long healthy life. He will need to take insulin every day and make some changes to his diet, but not that much. Because he is so young we can start making those changes and get him on the right track to handle this." I nodded looked down at Matthew who was staring at the doctor.

"Am I going to die?" I heard a gasp from Logan who quickly scooped Matthew up and held him tight.

"You are not going to die Matthew. Do not think that, do you understand me?" Matthew nodded and I pet the back of his head. I saw the doctor smile as he went through some papers and wrote some things down.

"I'll come back in 5 minutes with a nurse to show all three of you how to test his blood sugar, and how to take the insulin." He stood up and I smiled and nodded. When he walked out, I checked my watch quick and sighed. We had to pick up Emma in two hours, hopefully I wouldn't have to leave them while I picked her up. I wasn't a fan of being away from Logan anymore, and now with Matthew, I didn't want to leave him either.

The five minutes did pass and the doctor did come back in, with a female nurse. She had a little meter in her hands that she told us was a blood sugar meter. All you had to do was poke his finger, draw some blood and measure it. Because he is so young, Matthews levels should be below 130 but above 70, and I was never more thankful to have a nerd for a husband. He knew all this stuff. He knew exactly when Matthew would need to eat some sugar if it got to low. However, he was not a fan of having to poke his little finger and shoot the insulin in his leg every day, and that would be, where I would come in. The doctor showed both of us, but it was me who actually did it. Matthew cried, but when it was all over with, Logan held him and rocked him while the doctor continued to talk to me, about living with it.

An hour and a half later we were walking back into the waiting room where James still was. The doctor was setting up an appointment for Matthew sometime next week, and Logan decided on Friday, after Emma got out of school. We both thanked him, getting the meter and the insulin from him and walked up to James who stood up fast and glared at Logan.

"No…before you start hounding him for information, we are going to get in the car and pick up Emma. Then when the kids aren't around, you can talk." I stared between the two and Logan nodded, while James groaned and followed out behind me and Matthew, who was again fast asleep in my arms.

We got to her school a little late but Logan called ahead and asked if they could watch her. When we got there, she was outside, playing hopscotch with her teacher. I got out leaving Logan in the back with Matthew and James in the passenger seat. When she saw me Emma ran right to me.

"Daddy!" I scooped her up and kissed her cheek.

"Hi sweetheart. I'm sorry were late." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"It's okay. Teacher said Matthew didn't feel well and that you and Papa were taking care of him. Is Mattie okay?"

"He is better than okay!" She smiled and I walked to the teacher who was holding Emma's coat and backpack.

"Mr. Knight…can I have a word with you for a minute?" I smiled and nodded putting Emma down.

"Why don't you go see your papa and Matthew in the car, and I'll be right there okay?" She nodded and took her coat and backpack and ran off. I stood back up and smiled at the lady. She smiled back but it fell quick. "Is Emma doing okay in school?"

"Yes, in fact she is one of my brightest. She is adapting so well to learning, I've actually very impressed. But…" The but, it never ended well after a but. "It seems…she's having trouble making any friends and I've caught more than once, kids picking on her." I felt my heart drop and she stepped forward putting a hand on my shoulder. "I don't think most children understand when they see two men instead of a man and a women. She hasn't said anything to you or your husband?" I shook my head and she nodded. "I would assume not. Emma is a very strong girl. She likes to make everything seem okay, when she might be upset. I've noticed it. But do not be fooled. Some of these children are being very cruel Mr. Knight. They are singling her out because she doesn't have a mommy according to one student. I separated them and asked Emma if she was okay, and she said words can't hurt her. She said she learned that from her papa." I smiled small and turned hearing a door open. Logan was getting out and looking over at us curiously. I put up one finger and forced a smile. He nodded and got back in the back with the kids. I turned back to the teacher and she sighed. "I knew I needed to tell you. I am watching her very closely. Her and Jimmy. And I've asked the other teachers, on recess and lunch duty to do the same but some things I don't catch. I think it might help if you and Logan talk to her? Maybe get her to tell you what the kids are telling her. But I'm not telling you how to raise your daughter. Have a good day Mr. Knight." She smiled and turned walking back into the school. I sighed out hard and walked back to the car.

The drive was loud, Emma telling us about her day, and Mattie telling his sister that he was sick and then Logan trying to explain it to her. James stayed quiet smiling every now and then and when we got to the house I got out fast to help Logan and get Matthew. Emma was already running to the front door and I saw James glaring at Logan. I quickly picked up Matthew and let them stand by the car while I stayed in the house with the kids.

I set both Emma and Matthew at the table as I cut up some apples and got some peanut butter for them to snack on. I put the plate in-between them and sat at the end of the table watching them.

"So Emma…did you and Jimmy have fun at school today?" She nodded while munching on the apple and I smiled. "DO you have any other friends? Like little girl friends?" She turned to me and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't like any of those girls daddy."

"How come sweetie?" She shrugged again and I started to realize she got this, stubbornness, cover things up form Logan. Which was really cute, but right now, I hated it. "Are the other kids nice to you and Jimmy?"

"Sometimes they say mean things, but words cant hurt me daddy." I tried to think of a different approach and smiled.

"So when those kids say mean things…do they make you feel mad?" She turned to me and nodded her head. "So what do you say back to them?"

"Nothing. I don't want to get in trouble."

"But if you're sticking up for you and your friend, you won't get in trouble. Just like if you told your teacher or even me and papa what those kids say, you wouldn't get in trouble."

"I'm not afraid to get in trouble daddy. I just don't want to be hurt." I was getting somewhere with her, but I didn't know if I wanted to go any further.

"Why would you get hurt sweetheart?" She looked down at the table and sniffled her nose. She was crying. "Did someone hurt you?" She shook her head and I saw the tears fall. I got up, turned her chair to face me and held her face. "Did someone hurt you?" She stuck out her bottom lip and nodded slowly. I wiped her eyes and saw Matthew looking at us, not really sure what was going on. "Who?" She cried out and I quickly put her in my arms and held the back of her head. "Who hurt you baby girl?" She dug her face in my neck and cried out. I rubbed her back and saw Matthew going back to eating.

"His name…name is Ben."

"IS he in your class?" She nodded against me and I quickly got up taking her seat and sitting down hard. "What did he do?" She gently pushed off me and sat down on my lap. She lifted her dress a little on her legs and I cut see a cut on her knee. I quickly grabbed a paper towel and wiped it. "Did he push you down?" She nodded and wiped her eyes.

"He said I was a bad girl because I didn't have a mommy. And then Mrs. Teacher came and told him to leave me alone, but when she left, he said if I told anyone that he was being mean to me, he'd hurt me. And then he pushed me daddy. On the gravel and I hurt my knee. But I didn't go to Mrs. Teacher, because he would have hurt me badder daddy…" She got up again and cried on my shoulder. I held her tight and sighed not knowing what to do. It wasn't like I could go to the school and beat the shit out of the kid. I'd defiantly go to prison. But that didn't mean I couldn't deal with the kids parents.

I turned hearing the door open and saw James limp in, rather fast. He sat down and pulled out his phone. Logan came in behind him shaking his head.

"It isn't my place James. Call Carlos, tell him to pick you up so you can…Emma?" Emma lifted her face and he walked over quickly. "What's the matter?" She put her face back in my neck and I sighed. "What happened?" I rubbed her back and motioned for him to sit. I could tell he was in pain and knew he hadn't taken his antibiotics or pain killer since this morning.

"Emma was pushed down today by a kid named Ben." He moved to her quickly scooting closer and rubbed her back with me. "He told her she was a bag girl because she didn't have a mommy and then pushed her saying if she told anyone he was mean, he would hurt her." James was walking in slowly and I felt her grip my shirt. "Her knee is hurt." Logan stood up and quickly walked to the pantry grabbing the first aid kit. "I'm going to find out who Ben's parents are and have a talk with them." She pushed off me fast and sobbed out.

"No daddy! You can't tell anyone!" Logan walked back in, pushing his chair right next to mine. He sat down, lifted her on the table and looked at her knee.

"Sweetheart, that boy isn't nice. He needs to be punished." She rubbed her eyes as she sobbed and I could just see Logan all over her. This is exactly how Logan would react just to get his way. Usually I fell for the tears and the crying, but not this time. I had to take care of her, and needed to make sure no kid bullied my little girl.


	5. Chapter 5: No School, No Problems

_No School, No Problem_

Kendall carefully set Matthew in his bed. It was almost as if he didn't want to let him go. He hovered over him for a second, just staring at him. I ran a hand over the small of his back and he bent down quick, kissed his forehead and stood up. He turned to me and smiled.

"I think if I have to see anyone else in a hospital bed…I'll go nuts." I smiled and nodded pushing gently between him to get to Matt. I also hovered over him and kissed his cheek. When I stood back up I quietly shut off the light by his bed and turned grabbing Kendall's hand and walking him out. We went right next door to Emma's room and I couldn't help the smile. She was sitting at the foot of her bed, in a big shirt, which happened to be one of Kendall's, swinging her legs and sitting patiently. Kendall chuckled beside me and walked in scooping her up quick and laying her in her bed. She pushed her pink blanket down and got underneath it letting Kendall tuck her in. "Did you brush your teeth?" She opened her mouth wide and he smiled nodding. I walked on the other side of the bed and sat down.

"Would you like a story tonight?" She shook her head and I nodded leaning down.

"Can I ask you something papa?" I nodded and she sighed putting her face form the nose down under her blanket. "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?" It was quiet and I turned to Kendall quick. He sighed and sat down pulling the blanket down off her face.

"Is it because of Ben?" She nodded and I gave my best puppy dog look to him. He eyed me but looked back at Emma. "Emma do you know that when you were only a year old I had to leave you and papa for a week to go see my grandma because she was sick, and in that week all I did was worry about you. And your papa?" She sat up and eyed him. He reached forward smiling and pushing her long curly brown hair off her face and behind her ear. "Everyday when I take you to school and I leave I worry like I did then. You are my little girl and there is nothing in this world I would not do for you, your brother or your papa." I smiled and watched her smile grow on her face. "If there is someone who is mean to you and is hurting you, and makes you scared, I would never want you to be around that person. So no…you don't have to go to school tomorrow." She leaped up and wrapped her little arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"Thank you daddy!" He smiled and hugged around her back. "Does this mean I don't have to go to bed right now?" He laughed and laid her back in her bed.

"Nice try little girl." She giggled and let him tuck her in tight. "Snug as a bug…"

"In a rug!" She shouted back and he bent down kissing her forehead. He got up and I went down quick kissing her nose. "I love you papa. I get to lay in bed with you and Mattie tomorrow papa!" I grinned and stood up.

"Yes you do. And you get to pick the first movie we watch!" She wiggled her toes under her blanket and Kendall snapped off the light before taking my hand and leading me out. We left her door open halfway and while I walked into our room, he went down stairs quick, to lock everything up. Ever since I got home from the hospital, Kendall has been uber protective, and got a security system that only him and I knew the code for. We didn't even tell my parents.

As I crawled onto the bed and lay down hard onto my stomach I heard a vibration. I got to my nightstand fast, crawling on my hands and knees. I smiled seeing a new message from Kendall's mom and quickly opened it up.

"_We are all set for the flight. I can't thank you enough for getting those tickets Logan. And please don't feel bad about forgetting his birthday. You have been through hell and back. Also, should I get Matthew sugar-free candy? Or can he even have any? Love you!" _I smiled and quickly put in my response telling her I loved her too, and as long as we watch how much he actually eats, he can have it. As I hit send I heard footsteps and turned to see Kendall walking in. He coked his head and scrunched his eyebrows.

"What are you smiling at? Talking to your boyfriend?" I glared at him as he took off his shirt.

"Kiss any best friends lately?" He stopped and sighed. I laughed and got back on my stomach laying down and sighing. "Do you think James and Carlos are going to be alright?" I heard his jeans hit the floor and then felt him get on the bed. He laid beside me also on his stomach.

"I couldn't even tell you. I mean…how long has Carlos been having the affair." I turned to my side, lifted his arm and snuggled under him.

"A few months." Kendall shook his head and also turned to his side, pulling em in tighter.

"Well if I know James as well as I think I do…I don't think this is something he can forgive him for. Don't be surprised if either one of them comes over here looking for a couch to sleep on."

"What about Jessie?" He looked at me, lifted my face to look at his and smiled.

"They are great parents. They will do what's best for her. Stop worrying about them. We have our own children to watch after." I nodded and pushed back into him. We lay for a few minutes in silence before I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up fast and stare down at him. He opened his eyes and slowly sat up. "What's wrong?"

"Kendall! I forgot your birthday and you didn't say anything!" He chuckled and rubbed his eyes.

"Logan it was just another day of the year. You know I hate celebrating my birthday. Besides it's a gift to know that you and the kids are safe in my arms."

"Don't pull that bullshit on me Kendall." He froze and stared at me. "Babe…" I quickly pushed him down on the bed and climbed on his lap. He sighed and gripped my hips. "I love that your modest and you put everybody first and before you…but you got to stop that. For me ok?" He opened his mouth to try to argue, but I covered his mouth fast. "With that being said…I won't go crazy, but were going to have a nice dinner and you're getting a surprise tomorrow." He nodded and I removed my hand. "Also…if you wanted something else..." I bent down and captured his lips in mine. He kissed back hungrily. I could sense his hands were having difficulty trying not to touch my back so I grabbed them, laced our fingers together and put them above his head. He moaned into my lips, and forced my mouth open sticking his tongue in my mouth.

Kissing Kendall has always been…fantastic. But not having it for a while and not being able to go any further then kissing, kind of drove me wild. So I snaked down his body, forcing out lips apart and pulled off his boxes. I put him in my mouth fast and his reaction led em to believe I was doing something he wanted. He grabbed at my hair and tugged on it kind of rough, but I really didn't mind. I liked when we got rough. He also bucked his hips forward making the tip poke at the back of my throat. I grabbed a hold of his thighs and squeezed starting the bobbing motion, making sure every time my tongue could, I would swirl it around the tip. That drove him crazy every time. I felt myself grow hard…very hard just having him inside my mouth and I moaned around his dick, which made him moan, and tug at my hair, harder. I pulled off him fast, making a nice wet "pop" sound and quickly pulled off my sweat pants and my boxers. I yanked off the grey shirt I also had on and before I could go back down on him he was sitting up grabbing my face and kissing me hard. I tried to move one of his hands to my hard on, but both of them moved down to my butt, where he grabbed ahold of me tight and forced me to raise each leg and move them outside his body. I moved my kisses down his neck and greedily started sucking on his pressure point.

"You sure Loges?" I nodded running my hands through his hair tugging on it hard. One of his hands rubbed my left cheek while the other positioned itself at my entrance. I knew it was going to be hard, and I knew it was going to hurt, so I wrapped my arms around his neck holding him and squeezed my eyes shut. He placed a gentle kiss to my collar bone and pushed himself up inside me. I groaned out and squeezed him harder.

I don't know who needed it more. I knew he wanted it, but I felt like I needed this. I needed to be this close to him. For both of our sakes. I needed him to feel how much I…needed him, I guess. He was holding my hips while pushed me up and down on him not missing a single beat. He kissed em gently and softly while hitting hard inside me and for the first time in a while, I felt like we were back to our normal, loving happy selves.

I woke up, early the next morning. I know I had warn him out. He wasn't snoring or drooling like usual. This was a deep sleep and he had never looked more adorable. I went to check on the kids, both fast asleep still and quietly made my way down stairs. My bandages needed to be changed, but I didn't want to wake Kendall and didn't want to do it myself. I glanced outside real quick and saw it was overcast and raining again. I shivered as I walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light. I walked right to the coffee pot and went to making it. As I closed the lid and turned to the fridge to make a big breakfast for Kendall there were soft knocks at the door. The knocks could still be heard and the dogs charged down the stairs barking like idiots. I ran out, silencing them quick and they sat staring at the door. I opened it and smiled seeing Carlos, again for the second morning in a row. "Hey Carlos!" He smiled but it fell quick. I could tell instantly he was mad…at me. About James. "What's up? What are you doing here…at 5 in the morning?"

"Oh ya know…taking a nice drive…a little stroll, trying to think of a way to kill my best friend! Logan I asked you not to say anything!" I sighed and walk out to him closing the door to house softly.

"I'm sorry…when he came in from the hospital he was crying and I assumed he was upset because you told him."

"No he was upset because he told me him and Kendall kissed and I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. You had no right to tell him Logan Mitchell!" I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I didn't tell him everything. I just let it slip you had an affair! If anything you should be thanking me! You weren't going to tell him the truth!"

"Shows how much you actual know me! How can you be okay with them making out?" I sighed calmly and noticed for the first time a different car parked out on the street. And there was someone in the driver's seat. And it wasn't James.

"Who is that?" He turned and sighed. He put up one finger and turned back to me.

"It's Dustin." I raised my eyebrows and let my mouth hang open. "James and I are getting a divorce. We are fighting too much, and I don't love him anymore. And again I'm going to ask my best friend to not judge and hate me."

"What about your daughter?" He stopped and looked down, hurt. "What the hell are you thinking Carlos? You have a great life with James, and a beautiful little girl who Is now going to have to live the rest of her life with two Christmases and two separate Easters. Is that what you want for her?"

"Logan I want to be happy." I stopped and he gave em a pleading look. "Please try to understand…your my best friend and I need you to understand. Please Logan." I looked down and shook my head.

"Why'd you come? To tell me all this?"

"And to say goodbye." I looked up quick and he moved forward pulling me into him. "I don't know when I'll be back. Please…tell James I'm sorry." I pushed him off quick and heard the door open behind me. He turned quick hopped down the steps and pulled his hood on. He ran across the lawn got in the car and they drove off fast. I turned, and without looking at him, I pushed past him, into the house.

I picked up the home phone fast and dialed James's number. I know it's 5 in the morning, but I still needed to call him. It rang 5 times before he answered.

"Jesus Christ…what?"

"Carlos left." He chuckled and I could hear him walking around on his crutches.

"Try telling me something I don't know."

"You didn't stop him?" Kendall got beside me and sighed shaking his head. I stared at him and he shrugged his shoulders mouthing, "not our problem". I waved him off and walked to the fridge.

"Logan do me a favor. Stop worrying about my pathetic excuse for a love life alright? Carlos wasn't happy with me. I can't force him to stay with me."

"And Jessie?" Kendall groaned behind me and I threw a package of bacon on the counter.

"Jessie will stay with me, while Carlos goes off on his little adventure with his stupid boy toy. When he gets back, his shit will be out of the house and I'll be fighting for full custody of Jessie. Done and done." I sighed and bent over hitting my forehead on the counter top. "Go back to sleep with your husband and take care of your kids. I'll see you later." He hung up fast and I groaned.

"What did I say? Not our problem."

"How could you be like that? They are our best friends."

"Yes but…" I felt a hand on my left hip as another hand started taking off the bandage. "I got some awesome head last night, and I got it in. I don't really care about anyone else but us and our beautiful babies." I stood up and looked back at him.

"I give a little sex and that's how you act?" He nodded and I hissed out in pain, while he took off the bottom bandage.

"You need to get these clean. Lets go take a shower before we make breakfast…" He was cut short hearing another knock at the door. I grinned wide and turned fully to face him. "Who's that?" I giggled and put on a sweater that was hanging off the back off the chair. I walked out and pulled him with me.

"Why don't you find out?" He walked to the door and I stayed back. When he opened the door he sucked in a hard breath and rushed out.

"Mom! Katie!" He embraced his mom first practically picking her up off the ground. I walked slowly over and locked eyes with Katie. She walked in fast, dropping her bag and the first thing I noticed was a bump…a very big bump on her belly.

"Hey brother in law!" I held her hands, lifting her arms and looked at her stomach. "Yes I have gotten fat." Kendall and his mom walked in and Kendall's jaw dropped.

"Who the hell got you pregnant!?" Katie grinned and his mother walked to me holding me tight. "Seriously! What the hell is this?!" I laughed and closed my eyes holding around his mom.

"How are you doing Logie bear." I chuckled and kissed her cheek softly.

"Better than Katie's about to be."

"Katie! You're not even married!" His mom and I both laughed and Katie sighed sitting down on the couch.


	6. Chapter 6: Papa Bear Strikes

_Papa Bear Strikes_

I knew Logan was telling my sister about some ridiculous plan he thought of for my late birthday. I hated seeing them whispering and giggling with each other, but I had my mother's gaze on me and I didn't have time to question the two of them. So I took my seat across form my mother at the dining room table, handed her a cup of coffee and sipped mine.

"When does Emma go to school?" She checker her watch and tilted her head. I smiled and shook mine swallowing the hot coffee.

"She isn't going today. She's having some problems, I could actually use your help with." She nodded and slowly sipped her coffee. "She has a bully mom. She was pushed down yesterday and had her knee cut up." My mom shook her head and sighed sitting back.

"Well girls at that age can be brutal. I mean…girls at any age are brutal."

"It's a boy mom." She raised her eyebrows and I nodded. "He said she was bad because she had two dads and no mom." I heard a gasp from her and I sat back. "Logan and I were talking about it, and were thinking of taking her to a private school…ya know for the snooty little rich kids with celebrities as parents. It's a lot of money but maybe it's worth it." My mother laughed and sipped her coffee. I leaned forward and grinned. "What?" She shook her head and sighed.

"Kendall, do you remember when you were 6 years old and you came home from school with cut up hands and a tear stained face?" I nodded and she also leaned forward. "Do you remember what you father told you?" I had to think for a second, because…no I didn't really. I was 6! She laughed anyway and unzipped her sweater, pushing it off her shoulders. "He told you, to go to school the next day, and stand up for yourself. To not sit back and let someone push you around like that little jerk of a kid did." Now it was my turn to laugh.

"Mom…that jerk of a kid who pushed me down was James. And when I went to school the next day, his dad was there with him because you called him and forced James to apologize to me." She laughed. "Mom…I don't want to see my little girl get picked on."

"No one does…but there are other ways to deal with this. Like going to that school and dealing with the parents." She shook her head. "Telling a child to stand up fro themselves at that age…is dangerous. This kid who is bullying Emma is learning it from someone. Deal with it from there."

"Why so he could beat up some back asswards redneck?" My mom and I both turned and Logan walked in, pushing me back in my chair and sitting on my lap. I put one arm around his waist, avoiding his back, while the other held my coffee cup.

"Logan…I love you for being the ask questions first kind of guy, but Kendall has never stood for letting someone being pushed around." Logan opened his mouth to talk back to my mom but she put up a hand and shook her head. "I am right there with you. But if that's what Kendall needs to do…for your daughter, let him. The worse that will happen, is you bail him out of jail." I laughed but was elbowed in the chest by Logan. I squeezed his hip and watched Katie walk out, well waddle out a sit next ot my mom.

"So…how did this happen…and when?" I motioned to her stomach and she rubbed it.

"7 months ago." I clenched my cup and she shook her head. "I'm 24 big brother. And engaged." She raised her left hand and Logan wrapped an arm around my neck smiling wide.

"Got the date?" She smiled and nodded at him.

"January 1st." I saw my mom also smiling and sighed sitting back. "Gonna walk me down the isle big bro?"

"Of course…who's the guy?"

"Some random guy I met online." I glared at her and Logan laughed. "Jimmy Smith."

"Jimmy Smith? As in the guy I went to high school with? As in the guy who's 7 years older then you?" She nodded and I laughed. "Good catch Katie."

"Kendall…" My mom and Logan said it at the same time and Katie laughed.

"Don't be jealous he doesn't play for your team?" Again, my mom and Logan sighed at the same time but Katie and I laughed. "So where is niece and nephew?"

"Upstairs sleeping. But I can go get them and we can have a big breakfast."  
My mom stood up and so did Logan. I slowly got up and grabbed Logan's arm before he went in the kitchen. "Yeah?" He looked up at me and I smiled.

"I'm going to go to Emma's school real quick." He looked down and nodded.

"Please don't get arrested." I laughed but he wasn't finding any of it funny.

I drove to the school, in complete silence. I wasn't really sure what I was going to say when I saw the kids parents, and I didn't think I would actually let it get to the point of being physical. I don't like fighting, and for this situation, I don't find it necessary. As long as the kid's parents understood, we should be fine.

But of course pulling up into the parking lot, I saw a huge black diesel truck and with my kind of luck It would be the kids dads truck. I walked into the school seeing only a few other cars hipping one would be Emma's teachers. I walked down to her first grade classroom and thankfully her door was open, lights on. I knocked softly and stepped in. She turned and smiled bright at me.

"Mr. Knight! Great to see you…where's Emma?" I walked in and smiled.

"Well she's at home. She isn't doing great right now. She's terrified to come to school." She frowned and I walked right up to her desk. "So I was wondering if you could point out a little kid named Ben and his parents?" She nodded and started walking to the door, motioning for me to follow.

"Ye, his dad just got here. They will be in his office."

"His dad works here?" She nodded and led me down a huge quad section, into a gym. A small gym, but a gym. Of course. Some jerk jock. We walked into it and wet right to a back room, where an office was. She knocked and stepped in.

"Mr. Jones? There is someone here to see you. Kendall Knight." I walked in and the guy stood up a stupid look on his face already. He glared at me and looked to the corner where a small boy was sitting swinging his legs, drinking form a bottle of water.

"Mr. Knight? What can I do for you?" I smiled at Emma's teacher and she stepped out. I walked to his desk and extended my hand, letting him shake it.

"My daughter goes to this school. Emma?" He nodded and motioned for me to sit. I did and he sat back down behind his desk. "Well yesterday, she came home from school with a cut on her knee, crying, saying your son pushed her down and told her some pretty mean things." The man turned quick to the kid who looked horrified.

"You pushed down a little girl?"

"Daddy! You said it wasn't right that she was here because she is normal." I gritted my teeth and Mr. Jones turned back to me.

"I am so sorry Mr. Knight. I do not teach my children violence."

"But you teach them ignorance?" The room went dead quiet. We stared at each other. For almost a minute, in the silence. Finally he sighed and sat back in his chair.

"You'll have to excise me Mr. Knight. I'm a little old fashioned. In the sense that a home is a home…with a mother and a father. I'm sure you and your partner…"

"Husband." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Right…husband. I'm sure you are nice people…but I don't think it is right for a child to be in that living situation." My temper was slowly rising and he seemed more amused. "My son may have overheard my…wife…and I talking about it, and thought he should do something about it."

"Do something about what? What goes on in my life and my children's life is none of your business. And I would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions to yourself and make sure your son stays away from my daughter." I stood up, turned quick and walked out of his office. The God damn nerve of some people! Who the hell does he think he is!?

I walked briskly out of the school and took my keys out of my pocket. There were more parents showing up and I was glad I left when I did. However as I got closer to my car I heard running behind me. I turned and saw Mr. Jones coming towards me.

"Mr. Knight?!" I stopped and raised my left eyebrow. He stopped in front of me, slightly panting. "I think you left too early. You didn't hear my solution to our little problem." I crossed my arms over my chest and he smiled. "Maybe it would be best if…you and you…partner took your kids to a different school. It would be easier for my kid and yours." I put my arms down, clenching my fists. "No hard feelings then, right?" He patted my shoulder and turned to go back to the school. I reached out quick turned him fast and raised a fist. I hit him hard on the jaw and he stumbled back. It felt good to hit him but Logan's voice kept popping up in my head.

"_Don't get arrested…" _Mr. Jones straightened out quick, and rubbed his jaw. I heaved a little and he shook his head.

"You hit like a faggot." I stepped towards him, but was stopped fast. By a crutch. We both turned and James was staring the guy down. Mr. Jones put his hands up and backed away. He turned and quickly walked back into the school. I turned to James and saw Jessie standing behind James, kind of hiding.

"Dude…you want to explain?" I glanced down at Jessie and she reached up, holding onto his crutch.

"Not right now…what are you doing here? I didn't think you'd take her to school with Carlos gone…" I was cut off and he hopped towards me closer. He shook his head.

"Were changing schools. Because were moving." I nodded and quickly picked up Jessie.

"You want some help?" James smiled and shook his head.

"I'll be okay…you going to call me later to explain what that was about?" I laughed and nodded putting Jessie down. But she grabbed my hand and yanked it.

"How come you hit Mr. Jones?" I bent down and smiled wide.

"Because…he wasn't nice to me." James laughed behind me and Jessie frowned.

"But my daddy said it's not nice to hit." I looked back at James and he shook his head.

"Let's go sweetheart. I'll have Uncle Logan explain why Kendall hit him okay? Later today when we visit?" I nodded and stood back up. "I'll call you when I'm on the way." I let them walk by and I patted James's back. I watched Jessie pull the door open for James and then watched her chase after him. I laughed walking back to my car, but again stopped hearing my phone ring. I pulled it out and smiled big seeing Logan's number.

"Hey baby!"

"The cops were just here." It went quiet and I froze.

"Logan I didn't do anything." There was a small chuckle and I slowly started walking back to my car.

"I'm sure babe. No it's not about you…they were next door first." I stopped again and could hear the slight fear in Logan's voice. "And then they came over with some news." I got in the car quick and sighed hard.

"News?" Again another chuckle and I could tell this was not going to be good.

"Yeah…it seems Tim…Tim didn't die. They were able to save him." Every breath left my body and couldn't tell how Logan was actually feeling. "They told me, he is in a mental hospital but…they wanted me to know. I guess…they wanted to tell me incase…something happened? I guess. I don't…I don't know." He let out another shaky chuckle and I put my head back. "So…can you come home…right now?" I could hear the tears and I put the key in the ignition. "Please…babe."

"I'm on my way."

**SO I GUESS I HAVE A SICK PROBLEM. I KNOW I SAID IT WOULD JUST BE DRAMA…BUT I REALLY SUCK AT DRAMA…SO TIM'S BACK. **** DON'T HATE ME.**


	7. Chapter 7: Feelings Change?

_Feelings Change?_

I stared blankly at the wall in front of me, my body shaking. Literally, it was shaking, and I couldn't stop it. No matter how many times I heard from Jennifer or Katie that everything was going to be okay, I just could not believe it. Generally speaking, when someone slices their neck open, they die. But apparently he didn't hit any veins, and it wasn't that deep. But I saw blood…a lot of his come out of his neck. And honestly, why would they save him? He shouldn't be able to be saved. Not after what he did to myself and my family. So yes, hearing he was still alive, in a mental hospital, was hard for me to believe. It was also very hard for me to feel the happiness I was slowly staring to feel.

"Nanna!" I turned quick to see Matthew running towards us, Jennifer getting up and reaching out quick. He ran into her arms and she lifted him kissing his cheek. "Auntie Katie!" Katie stood up and smiled big at him. I saw his eyes grow and he pointed right to her stomach. "What's the matter with your belly?" No matter how scared and worried I was, seeing and hearing Matthew, made me smile. Katei laughed and Jennifer sat down, putting him in her lap.

"There's nothing wrong with my belly Mattie. I'm going to have a baby. You're going to have a cousin!"

"So you ate him?!" I laughed and Jennifer chuckled turning him to her.

"Mattie, you're Aunt Katie didn't eat her baby. He's growing inside her. And in two more months he'll be born." Matthew sat back on Jennifer and started pondering the thought. "Where's your sister? I have presents for you guys!" He jumped up fast and ran right back upstairs. I chuckled but as if Matthew leaving made me feel worse again, I stopped and swallowed hard. Jennifer ptu a hand on my shoulders and rubbed. "I'm going to start breakfast. You can go rest fi you like." I forced a small smile and raised myself off my seat.

"I'm going to take a shower. Can you have Kendall come up, when he comes home?" She nodded and I quickly walked past her and Katie heading for the stairs. Half way up, my kids ran down, right past me, yelling Nanna. I was grateful Jennifer and Katie were here. I didn't really want to have my kids see how I really am right now.

I got in the shower, the water warm, but not scolding. I stood for a few minutes but felt really sick and quickly washed my hair, let my back rinse under the water for a little while and then got out. I grabbed Kendall's dark green robe, put it on my body and went out into the bedroom. I climbed onto the big unmade bed and snuggled in on Kendall's side letting his scent and warmth invade my entire being.

I laid for a full 7 seven minutes, before I heard the front door open, the dogs barking and the kids yelling. Kendall was home and I felt better already. I heard him greet the kids, complete his mother's cooking and then told the kids to behave for Nanna and Auntie Katie.

When the bedroom door open I stayed laying, and watched him kick off his shoes. He got in, on my side and laid on his stomach but resting on his elbows. One hand held the side of my face and I closed my eyes.

"Why did they need to tell you? Isn't he locked up?" I nodded and heard him sigh. "You do realize there is no way in hell he is ever going to come near you again." I opened my eyes and he shook his head. "While I am alive, he will never get to even breath the same air as you again, let alone see or touch you." I nodded and he leaned in kissing my forehead. "Is he in the city still? I don't know many mental hospitals in L.A." I sat up running my hands through my wet hair and shook my head.

"No he's in Northern California. They have the biggest hospital in the country. His room is being guarded by two armed officers, 24/7 and they said everywhere he goes, his ankles are shackled, and he always has someone with him." The robe was pushed off my shoulders and a soft kiss was placed on the bare skin between my shoulder and neck. "Can you help with the bandages?" He hummed back yes and quickly moved over me and went into the bathroom.

"Ya know if I was here, they wouldn't have said shit to you." I grinned and let the robe fall off my back. The cold air sent shivers up and down my spine, but it felt pretty good. It almost felt like the cuts were pretty much closed up too, and that made me feel better. "I promise you Logan. He will not come near you, or us ever again." He got behind me on the bed and kissed the back of my neck.

"I know Kendall…I'm just…just hearing about him, and knowing he's still alive makes my core twist Kendall. Why would anyone save him?" I couldn't hear any more movement and turned my head. He was staring at me, kind of weird . "What?" He le tout a breath, got off the bed and quickly got in front of me sitting on the bed. He took my hands in his and smiled small.

"I cannot imagine what kind of…torture you went through. But hearing you talk like that…scares me." I put my head down and could understand his concern. But did not care.

"Kendall I would rather have him dead then know he's in some stupid mental hospital. I know you think that sounds crazy and it sounds not like me, but I don't want to even think about him. But now that he's alive, all I'm going to think about is him getting out, and finding me."

"Logan he can't ever hurt you again."

"I didn't think he could hurt me before." He went deadly quiet and dropped my hands form his. I looked down and sighed. "I don't want to be a coward anymore." I looked back up at him and saw him staring at the bed. "I don't want to hear about him, and I don't want him brought up again. I think it might push me over the edge." He only nodded and stood up, walked behind me, and put on the bandages still standing. Was it wrong that this si what I wanted? Did it kind of scare me? Hell yes. But that man did something to me that is unforgivable, and irreplaceable.

When Kendall finished my back, there was a total awkwardness around us. I tried looking in his eyes but he continued to look any where but at me. I got changed and as I pulled on my shirt I saw out our window a plain black van in Tim's driveway. I watched two guys carry out a few bags and boxes, but that was it. They looked normal, but because they seemed to be helping Tim, getting his shit, and just seeing them…made me hate them. I could tell Kendall was watching me, and to just ease his mind I turned and smiled. He was looking at me and I reached out for his hands. He took them and I squeezed them.

"Maybe we should go out today. Get Katie some baby stuff. Spoil your mom and the kids." He nodded and gave a small smile. I kissed his cheek and started pulling him to the bedroom door.

"I think James is going to be stopping by. He wants to talk." I nodded. "And I think we need to talk to Emma about maybe switching schools." I froze in my steps and turned to face him. We were half way down the stairs and he sighed leaning against the rail. "I may have caused some issues with the gym teacher."

"Who's the gym teacher?"

"Ben's dad." I let go of his hand and he shrugged his shoulders. "I hit him Logan and I don't feel bad. And I don't want our kids in a school that allows an ignorant asshole like that teaching our youth. And unless he gets fired, were pulling Emma out." I wasn't really in the mood for a fight but I knew what kind of hell it is to change schools at such a young age. I was moved at 7, and for the first week of school I had no friends. I did not want that for Emma.

"Kendall her best friend is at that school. She is too young to be moved around like that."

"Bullshit. She makes friends like she breaths air. And I'm moving her out of it Logan." His temper was rising, rather quickly, and unfortunately so was mine.

"Oh big man hitting everyone, wants to make this huge decisions about our children's lives without me?" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Logan we are not arguing about this. Either he gets fired, or whatever. I mean honestly I don't care what happens to him, or she gets out of the school. I'll call this weekend, and if they don't do anything, I will." He walked down the rest of the stairs, past em and went back into the kitchen which I just realized was really loud. The kids were loving having Katie and Jennifer here, which made me happy. But I felt strange. My anger seemed to only be worse and I didn't want to be around anyone, even my kids. Without thinking anymore I walked down the stairs, got my keys and slipped on some shoes. I walked into the kitchen smiling at the kids and Katie who was entertaining them but went to Kendall and Jennifer both at the stove, working on breakfast.

"Kendall." He turned to me and sighed quietly. Jennifer remained looking down at the stove and I put my keys in my pocket. "I'm going to go see Carlos."

"Why would you want to do that?" I gave him a death glare and he looked back at the stove. "Fine go see him. I'll stay here, with the kids, and wait for James, who is completely heartbroken so he can cry on my shoulder. While you go have a grand time talking to the biggest dick on the planet."

"I think you're beating him on that." I turned on my heels, didn't dare to glance at Katie or the kids and walked out, fast.


	8. Chapter 8: Blood, Sweat and Tears

_Blood Sweat and Tears_

"Logan! You are not leaving!" He stooped halfway down the sidewalk and turned.

"And why is that Kendall? So I can stay here, let you control me?" I got right in his face and stared him down. "You have done nothing but baby me, and force me to stay here, just so you could feel like the big bad tough guy!" He tried turning but I grabbed him and made him stay in front of me.

"What the hell are you talking about?! You stayed here because you didn't want to go anywhere Logan! I didn't force you to do anything!" He shoved out of my grasp and turned, walking right to his car. "Logan you are not leaving!"

"Yes I am Kendall!" He got to his door and pulled out his keys. I walked to him and as soon as his door was open, I quickly slammed it shut, getting behind him. I heard him groan and he turned quick facing me. "I don't want to fight right now! Just let me go!" I put both hands outside his body, forcing him to go back into the car door. He let out a small hiss in pain, but continued looking at me.

"What is your problem?"

"I don't have a God damn problem. Let me go, before we get in a bigger fight." I laughed and looked away from him, but continued to hold my arms outside his body. "Kendall…seriously. Get out of my way!" He shoved at my chest, and I grabbed his arms, rough. And pushed him back hard into the car door and he put his head down, gasping at the pain, but for some reason I didn't care.

"Be a fucking man, and deal with your fucking problems with your family, instead of running away like some scared bitch." He looked up, and I could see tears in his eyes. That calmed me down, immensely. I let go of his arms and backed away. "We don't solve our problems with someone walking out. The last time one of us walked out, you got hurt. Not again Logan." He look back down and quickly wiped his eyes, with the back of his hand. We stood in silence for a few minutes before he looked up and wiped his nose.

"I'm sorry." I pulled him in fast and let him wrap tight around my torso.

"Me too. Did I hurt you?" He shook his head on my chest and I started walking him back to the house. Before we got two steps farther, I heard a car pull up. I turned expecting to see James's car but stopped in my tracks seeing a big black diesel truck. Logan pushed off my chest.

"Who's that?" I moved in front of Logan, seeing the all too familiar douche bag walking towards us.

"Mr. Jones? What are you doing here?: He only grinned and stopped a few feet in front of me. Then I saw another car pull up behind his truck and four guys…very big guys got out of the car. Two of them had bats. Logan grabbed my arm and squeezed it. "What the hell do you want?" He took a step towards me and sighed.

"Well I need to make sure, you're going to listen to me, and pull out your daughter." The guys got behind him, glared at me and then at Logan.

"Don't worry. We don't want her at a school that allows redneck assholes like you teaching there." Logan let go of me and got beside me.

"Teacher? I can hardly call a gym teacher a real educator." I turned to Logan and narrowed my eyes at him. I heard laughter from some of the guys and turned back to them.

"Check out this guy. He's got jokes." I sighed and again stood in front of Logan glaring at Jones.

"Why don't you just leave." He smiled and looked back. One of the guys started moving towards us, one with a bat, and I pushed back into Logan. "What the fuck do you want?" Jones waked up with the guy and shrugged his shoulders.

"I just don't like being disrespected. And you…Mr. Knight have no respect. And the fact that you and your little bitch get away with fucking, and raising kids…just pisses me off. So…you two need to learn a few lessons…"

"Daddy?" We all turned to the door and I saw Matthew standing in the doorway. "I need my medicine." I turned back quick to Jones and he laughed.

"Tell your kid, you're going to be a while." I clenched my fists and glanced at the 5 guys.

"Matthew go back inside with Nanna." Logan was right behind me and I wished he would go inside with Matthew. I heard the door close and saw the guy with the bat walking towards us some more. "It must be tough for you. Having a small dick and all."

"Logan shut up." But that was all I could say. The bat came into contact with my ribs, hard, and I fell to my knees. I yelled out, holding my side and heard Logan yelling over my yelling. I looked up just in time to see Jones's fist coming towards my face. He hit me hard in my right eye and I let my body fall tot eh ground, I yelled again, but there were no words. Just screaming. The bat hit my stomach, right on top and I felt like throwing up.

"Fucking faggots!" I opened my eyes, just in time to see two guys holding Logan's arms, while the other guy with the bat, hit him hard in the left leg. I tried getting up but was pushed down by a foot on my chest. "Stay the fuck away from the fucking school!"

"Papa! Daddy!" I turned my head slowly and saw Emma and Matthew running out towards us. I panicked, but it faded when I heard running, and turned to see the guys running away back to their cars. They got in and speed off, like nothing just happened. I put my head back and looked up at the blue sky.

"Daddy!" Matthew was right by my side and I saw my mom running fast.

"I just called 911! Are you airtight?" My mom fell to her knees by my side. I tried pushing up, but I had the wind knocked out of me.

"Logan?" She turned and gasped out. I again tried pushing myself up, and managed to get up on my elbows. I pushed myself further and held myself up on shaky hands. I saw My mom helping Logan sit. I couldn't really see what was wrong but he went quick to grab his left leg. "Logan?" He turned to me and squeezed his eyes shut. I heard crying right by me, and Matthew threw his arms around my neck, crying louder. I tried wrapping around him, but my ribs were on fire. I groaned out and laid back down fast.

"Daddy…"

"Matthew go inside with Emma and Auntie Katie. Your daddy and papa are going to be fine." Matthew cried and ran out fast, to the open front door. I closed my eyes and groaned out.

"Kendall…are you alright?" I could only nod and was glad Logan was able to talk, and that he didn't sound too hurt. I was starting to see yellow stars with my eyes closed. The yellow stars were dancing around a bit, and it made me realize I was slowly passing out. I felt my stomach turning, and turning. I felt like I was about to vomit blood. I rolled onto my side, without realizing it, and when I opened my eyes, I did vomit. And as I looked down at the grass I did see blood. And just like that…I blacked out.


	9. Chapter 9: Second Home

_Second Home_

"His spleen was ruptured. We were able to clean up inside his stomach, and he's going to be fine, but he is going to be sore for a very long time. Only one rib broke, which Is going to be a breeze healing." I nodded still following the doctor on my crutches and he finally stopped. "We also want him to stay a few more hours so we can watch over him." I nodded and he opened the door we were standing in front of.

"I don't care if I have a broken rib. I want to see my husband! "I frowned hearing Kendall arguing, and when I walked in, I got more upset, He was trying to get off his bed while a nurse tried to hold him down.

"Mr. Knight." Kendall turned to us, and even thought the doctor sounded angry and authoritive, I know he lay back down because he saw me. I grinned and he closed his eyes sighing. I walked over to him, sitting down on his bed, letting my bandaged leg dangle off the side. "We will leave you two alone. Please stay in bed Mr. Knight." I smiled at the doctor as he led the nurse out, who was glaring at Kendall. When the door shut, I quickly turned back to Kendall who was sitting up, glaring at me.

"Why is it that this hospital is starting to feel like home?" I held the sides of his face and kissed his lips softly. I was trying to ignore the black and purple eye but it was too much. I pulled away still holding his face and frowned.

"Does your eye hurt?" He chuckled and pointed to it.

"What that? That's nothing. It's my rib that hurts the most." I smiled but I wasn't happy. "My mom said the police are asking her who it was, and without being able to stop her, Emma shouted it was her gym teacher." I looked down and one of his hands clutched mine and squeezed it. "They said they were going to go take him in, and when were ready they want our statement so we can press charges." I looked back up at him.

"Do you think if we press charges, he'll get fired form the school?" He laughed and laid back down, groaning quietly and closing his eyes.

"If he's in jail, I don't think he'll be able to work." I nodded and gently rubbed his stomach. "My mom also said she had a doctor show her how to do Matt's insulin. And She had Katie take them out to breakfast, to get there mind off this." I nodded and he sighed out. "I can't believe they did that. Just because were together." I laughed and moved my body around, for a few minutes, just to lay with him. I laid on his chest and the side that wasn't hurt. He wrapped both arms around me and I sighed, closing my eyes.

"How long have we've been dealing with idiots like that?"

"Yeah I know…but the difference is that they actually acted on their hatred. In front of our children. That's like…a new low."

"I know babe…" He started rubbing up and down my back, and for the first time in a the past couple of weeks, my back wasn't hurting me. I snuggled deeper into his body and he continued to rub my back. "They'll get what's coming to them. Trust me." I heard him mumble something under his breath, but I was too exhausted and too sore to really care. And I fell asleep.

I had a horrible dream, that I was watching Mr. Jones beating Kendall senseless. And there was a crowd cheering around them, telling him to kill Kendall. I tried screaming, and even tried begging but no words were coming out. I couldn't get them to stop.

I sat up fast, breathing hard. I heard myself wheezing and my lungs were on fire. I tried to get myself to calm down, but nothing was working. I could feel sweat dripping off my face and down the back of my neck, but I only cared about calming down my breathing. I turned my head to the side and back and felt even more panicked not seeing Kendall. The room was pretty dark and kind of cold but I knew Kendall wasn't there. I turned my head again just as the door opened. Walking in, came Kendall, with James behind him. I let out a soft sigh and felt my body, and my lungs relaxed.

"What's wrong?" Kendal was right in front of me, holding my face with one hand while the other wiped my forehead. "Why are you sweating?" I chuckled and shook my head.

"Bad dream." He gave em a weird look but I turned to James who was trying his hardest to sit next to me on the bed, without touching his busted leg, with my busted leg. I laughed and scooted over some. He giggled with me, and hoped on the bed, finally and sighed out.

"So…I convinced your hubby for you guys to stay with me for a while." I turned to Kendall quick and he gave a half grin while walking to a chair in the corner. "I know you're going to be pissed or whatever, but considering what you live next to…" I cringed thinking of Tim's house, "And because those assholes know where you guys live, myself, Kendall, and the cops think it would be best if you weren't there, until they find him." I snapped to look at James and scrunched my eyebrows.

"Find him? What do you mean?" James turned to Kendall who I heard groan and then sigh irritated.

"He was asleep."

"Asleep for what?" I looked between the two and finally James sighed.

"They went to Brad's house…Mr. Jones…and his wife is claiming he never came home, or went back t school. They aren't sure where he is…or his kid. But they found the other four guys." I turned to Kendall and he nodded.

"So for the time being, James has offered us his lovely home while we search for a new one." I was taken aback by that and he caught on. "I think it's about time we search for a new house, Especially if we're going to be having another kid." Now I was really confused.

"Another kid…what the hell are you talking about? Moving…how long have I been asleep?" Kendall laughed and got up, walked to me, put his hands on my thighs and lightly kissed my cheek.

"Let's have another baby." I frantically searched his eyes to see if this was some kind of sick joke…or if he was serious. All I saw was love and how serious he actually was. "Matthew informed me today he wants to be a big brother, like Emma is a big sister to him. And I know…I know you too well Logan. You want a huge family. Let's go for number three." I continued to look for a sign this was just a dream or a joke, but he moved his hands to my face and cupped it. "The silence is really scaring me Logan." I smiled and looked down, wrapping around his torso, tight. He yelped out, and pushed away. He turned away and carefully held his side. I covered my mouth and heard him curse under his breath.

"Oh my God baby…I am so sorry!"

"You could have just said no. You don't have to hurt him." I glared at James next to me and he smiled small. I turned back to Kendall who was staring at me, a stupid grin on his face.

"So that's a yes?" I nodded and he walked back to me, putting his hands outside my legs, and leaning in. I held his face this time, and pulled him down to my lips. We kissed softly, and passionately for only a second, before he deepened the kiss and forced my mouth open shoving his tongue in my waiting and welcoming mouth. As I ran my fingers up through his hair, I heard a tiny cough next to us and pulled away shoving Kendall away fast.

"Sorry James." He gave a small chuckle and looked away shaking his head.

"Can we get going? I'm starving and mama Knight offered to cook dinner tonight." I nodded and let Kendall help me down. Once my feet touched the ground I grabbed my crutches and made Kendall help James down as well. I could tell James was in pain, and it was more than physical. He was completely destroyed by what Carlos did. As I watched Kendall lead us out, I felt the sudden urge to try and fix their failing marriage, even though I was told not to.

When we got to James's house, Jennifer driving James's car, I decided to call Carlos's without anyone knowing and told everyone I was going to use the bathroom. I got in, shut the door, locked it, and gently sat on the closed toilet. I dialed his number fast and put the phone to my ear. It rang, and rang, and rang some more. He wasn't going to answer me, and not only did that piss me off, it made me sad he would actually do something like this. I gave up, put my phone I n my pocket, and walked back out into the living room, where the kids were playing with some of Jessie's dolls on the ground. Katie was sitting on the couch, watching them, smiling and I smiled at her as I walked by. I was about to enter the kitchen when my phone started buzzing in my pocket and I pulled it out quick, hoping it was Carlos. But it wasn't. I actually had no idea who it was so I picked it up anyway.

"Hello?" There was no response on the other end, and I had a sneaky suspicion it was a random fan, who got a hold of my number. "Hello? I know someone is there." I shook my head and as I pulled the phone away from my ear to hang up I heard something. Something like a muffled cry. "Hello?" I pressed hard into my ear and looked up to see Kendall walking out to me, holding two glasses of apple juice, for the kids no doubt. "Who is this?" The muffled cry's got louder and Kendall cocked his head to the side. I shrugged my shoulders and put the phone up to his ear. His face went to concern and I quickly put the phone back to my ear. The muffled cries were now complete screams. I clutched onto the phone and finally heard someone else breathing. "Who is this?" I paused for a minute to try to hear a voice, but as I opened my mouth to ask again I heard the voice. The all too familiar voice that scared the living hell out of me.

"Hello Logan." It was Tim.


	10. Chapter 10: Actions Speak Louder

_Actions Speak Louder Than Words_

"All he said was hello Logan, I'm sorry for what I did to you and your family and I'm going to make it up to you. And then he hung up." He sighed out shakily and I gently rubbed his neck. James glanced at me and I shook my head.

"The cops said they can't trace the call and as far as they know, he's still in the hospital." He sighed and sat back. I heard little giggles form the girls in the living room and heard a tiny sigh from Logan. "Babe…you want to go lay down?"

"You can lay in my bed. No one else is…" I shot a dirty glance at him and he sighed. "Look…let the cops take care of this. I have a great security system. You can stay here, buckle down and relax. You got your mom and sister here to take care of the kids so you guys can take a few hours to yourselves, get some things organized." Logan looked up slowly and I gently held the back of his neck.

"You sure you don't mind us being here?" James chuckled and sipped his soda. "James you got your own things going on…"

"I know but having my best friends here to distract me, and having Matthew and Emma to distract Jessie helps too…trust me. I need you guys here." Logan nodded and turned to me. I leaned forward and he leaned into me, laying his head on my chest. It was an awkward position, because we were at James's dining room table. But I let him lay on my body. I ran a hand through his hair and he sighed.

"I think I need to take a pain killer. It's not my back this time though. My legs on fire." I nodded and put my chin on the top of his head.

"Well I'll need to get them form the house…but I need to go anyway. I have to get some things for the kids and all our stuff. I guess I could start packing too." Logan sat up, putting a hand on my thigh. He was smiling and I smiled back.

"Can you find that James Patterson book I've been reading?" I laughed and nodded, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "And make sure you get all of Emma's information. We need to find a new school ro her, hopefully before Monday." I nodded again and as I pushed myself up, I heard the front door open, and we all froze. It went quiet out in the living room which scared me even more, and James slowly stood up.

"Papi?" I let out a sigh of relief but James continued to stand up.

"Hey baby girl, how come you're not in school?" James stopped and looked down at the ground.

"Daddy said it was my special day because i get to help him choose my new school." I sat back down, knowing a fight between James and Carlos could get ugly, fast.

"Oh…where is your daddy?"

"Kitchen Carlos." I saw James frown and sit down, hearing my mom. "Don't worry, Katie and I got the kids handled."

"Thanks mama Knight. And you look great Katie."

"Thanks Carlos." I rolled my eyes hearing Carlos walking in. I'm not saying we picked sides, but James and I are definitely closer than I am with Carlos. That was Logan's best friend and since the very beginning, that's just how it's always been.

Carlos walked in and the temperature in the room, dropped. James was glaring ice daggers at him, and so was Logan. I just tried looking anywhere but at him.

"James…uhm. Hey guys." I only nodded, gently running a hand down Logan's back.

"Maybe we should go Loges…" I was going to stand up but James shook his head.

"No. Stay guys. Whatever he says he can say in front of my best friends." I glanced between Carlos and James and Carlos sighed sitting down next to James.

"Fine…okay I deserve this third degree But…I don't want it anymore James." James laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't want it anymore? You're the one who left! You're the one who was fucking that guy behind my back!"

"I know and I'm sorry. But I don't want anyone else but you! I want to have a life with you, and Jessie and have another kid!" Logan looked down at his hand sin his lap and i continued to rub up and down his back, gently and softly. He turned to me and we stared at each other. "I don't want a divorce James."

"Oh really? What was it you said at the hospital? I was a piece of shit who didn't care about you, and you found someone who would love you like I never did?!" I turned to them and Carlos was crying. In some weird sick way…I kind of felt bad for Carlos. Yeah what he did was pretty shitty…but I've watched the two of them since I could walk and I knew beside Logan and I, they were the most perfect couple. "I can never forgive you Carlos. You broke my heart, and I can never be with you again." Carlos sobbed and put his head in his hands breaking down. "If you didn't want this…you shouldn't have done it Carlos. Now you have to live with this for the rest of your life." Carlos sobbed again and I looked away sighing softly and say Logan glaring at Carlos. "You should get your stuff, and leave."

"James I have nowhere to go." He looked up and reached out taking James face in his hands. James looked away, jaw clenched and I saw Logan shake his head and turn away.

"What happened to Dustin?" James's voice was harsh and cold and I could understand but it was kind of breaking my heart to see Carlos crying the way he was.

"We were at the airport, ready to pick a random flight out of here when I realized…I missed you. And I missed not taking Jessie to school this morning. I made a horrible mistake James and I want to take it all back." James turned to him and shoved his hands off his face.

"You can't take it all back Carlos. You fucked up, and now you cant have me ever again." I finally had to look away and turned to Logan. I leaned in, kissing his ear and sighed.

"We need to give them some space." He nodded and slowly stood up, clutching onto his crutches.

"Kendall and Logan are staying here for a while so I don't have a place for you." I stood up, watching Logan, but I couldn't help but see the hurt and pain on Carlos's face. He was breaking down, harder now and I couldn't stand it.

"James…" They both turned to me and James raised his eyebrows. "You need to think of Jessie." I could see Logan look over at me and I saw a glimmer of hope in Carlos's eyes. But James stood up and glared me down.

"You know just like the other two I would never keep Jessie away from Carlos. I'm all talk. But I don't want him here right now, and I don't want to be with him again." I nodded, and Carlos looked down, putting his head in his hands.

"How could you just through him out like that?"

"The same way he could fuck another guy behind my back." He said it through gritted teeth and I looked down. "If you have a problem with it Kendall you can leave with him."

"James…" I turned to Logan who sighed and glanced between us all. "Everybody just calm down. How about I help Carlos pack some things, and Kendall and James can go to our house to get our stuff." I glanced at James and he frowned.

"Fine. Let's go Kendall." He pushed past Carlos, literally shoving into his shoulder and walked out. Logan sighed and followed after him, both of them going slower on their crutches. I waited a second before looking at Carlos. He was looking at me, and quickly wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry Carlos…"

"I appreciate you trying to help Kendall." I gave a small smile and he shook his head. "I just need to figure out a way to…get back in his heart."

"Carlos…you never left his heart. It's just a little hurt right now." He nodded looking down and I sighed. "And if it makes you feel better…I'll help you out. I know how James works. We can figure something out." He looked up a weird look on his face and he started crying again.

"You'd…you'd do that for me?" I laughed and nodded.

"You guys are my best friends. Who is going to intervene when Logan and I go at each other's throats?" He chuckled and wiped his eyes again. "Everything is going to be okay Carlos."


	11. Chapter 11: Good, Happy People

_Good, Happy People_

I watched him, feeling sorry, but not enough to say anything to him. He was slowly taking clothes out of the closet, folding them and gently setting them in a big black duffle bag. He was crying quietly but wouldn't look at me, say anything to me, even come near me. So I stayed sitting on the bed, hand sin my lap, hoping James and Kendall would come back fast. He finally grabbed the last shirt hanging up, folded it and placed it in the bag. As he started walking to his dresser, his cell started ringing in his front pocket. He sighed, stopped and took it out. He closed his eyes and clicked answer, putting it to his ear.

"I'm almost done James…" I looked away and saw on the nightstand a picture of James and Carlos smiling, holding each other. It seemed to only anger me more. "I…I'm sorry James." I turned back over to him and saw him breaking down again. "I don't think we should be having this conversation on the phone." His voice was shaky and kind of pathetic, but again, I could have cared less. "Please James don't…no I don't want to fight anymore." I looked away again and just in time see Jessie walking in. Carlos heard her, and quickly wiped his eyes. Jessie walked right over to me, climbed on the bed beside me and sat down, staring at her dad. "James can we please do this later?" I saw Jessie look down at the ground and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She pushed her body into my side and I sighed staring at Carlos. "Okay…fine. Yeah." He hung up, turned to face away from us and opened the top drawer of his dresser.

"Papi why is daddy making you leave?"

"Because I'm not a good person." His voice was now flat, emotionless. I rubbed Jessie's arm and she continued to stare at her dad.

"But then where do I go?" Carlos turned slowly and scrunched his eyes together.

"What do you mean?" She shrugged her shoulders and looked down. Carlos tossed what looked like socks in the bag and walked over to her. He bent down in front of her, taking her hands in his and forced a smile. "You are going to stay here with daddy for a while, okay? But I will make sure I see you everyday and maybe someday we can all be together again." I saw him trying his hardest to keep the tears back, and for some dumb reason my heart grew and I felt bad for Carlos. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be thrown out of my house, and told I cant be a family anymore.

"I don't' think you're a bad person Papi." He chuckled and nodded. I saw him steal a glance over at me, but he quickly looked away. "Daddy said Emma gets to have a sleep over with me for a while." He nodded and sat back on his feet. "Can I tell you a secret Papi?" Carlos nodded and Jessie quickly looked up at me. She blinked a couple of times and pushed herself off the bed. She cupped around Carlos's left ear and started whispering something to him. At first he was pretty blank, but after a few seconds he smiled, and closed his eyes. She pulled away, putting a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. "I love you Papi." He pulled her into him and hugged her tight.

"I love you too sweetheart." I gave a small smile and looked away towards the door to see Jennifer walking slowly in the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Carlos…but do you guys have chocolate chips? Emma is very adamant on making cookies." Carlos let go of his daughter and turned to the door.

"They should be n the pantry." He smiled and she nodded. "Jessie, you want to make cookies with Grandma Knight?" Jessie nodded frantically and she ran past him to Jennifer who extended her hand and left holding her hand the whole way. Carlos continued to stare at the door and I took the opportunity to talk to him.

"Do you remember sophomore year…before we left for L.A?" He turned to me, and without looking at me, got up and sat next to me on the bed. "When you, James and Kendall went out, after a hockey game?" He turned to me and nodded, smiling small.

"I was pretty sure you were going to kill him." I laughed and nodded.

"Well I could have. I mean, we win the game and he promises me, we'll go back to my house and study because he was close to failing math." Carlos looked straight ahead and nodded. "When I found out you all went to the douc bag seniors party and found out Kendall was talking with this girl who then proceeded to kiss him…I was so freaking pissed Carlos. I mean here I was, sitting at home waiting for him to climb through my window, and he was off grabbing tits and making out." I turned to him and shook my head. "And even though he cheated on me, at the end of the day, I knew how sorry he actually was. And even though I was so freaking mad, I couldn't be mad for long." We locked eyes.

"Yeah but James isn't you…he can stay mad at me for a very long time, and he's going to. I don't think there's anything I can do to make he see how sorry I am."

"Are you really sorry?" His face fell a little and his eyes glistened, letting a few tears fall. "Carlos you did what you did for a reason. Does James know that reason?" He looked away and wiped his face.

"He hasn't given me a chance to explain. And why should he? I destroyed the only thing that I ever worked my ass off for. I ruined his trust in me. He can't ever love me again. He's made that perfectly clear."

"Make him listen Carlos." He turned back to me, and I turned my body and gently held the sides of his face. "Grab him like this, look him dead in the eyes and tell him the reason you told me. That you didn't feel good enough for him. And make sure you constantly tell him you love him." He nodded and closed his eyes, sobbing out. I let go of his face and turned away. I was having a war in my head. Part of me wanted to hold him and be a great friend, but the other part was still super pissed at him for what he did. But should I even be mad? Is it even my place to be mad? Shouldn't I be letting my best friend cry on my shoulder?

I turned back to Carlos and quickly pulled his body into mine. I held around his shoulders and he laid his head on my chest, wrapping his arms around my torso. I put my chin on his head and he sobbed out loud. I couldn't really blame him for being so upset. James and Carlos never really got into fights, or had any kind of disagreements. And for as long as I've known Carlos, he only gets this upset, is when is very upset. So I just let him sob on my chest. He was shaking and I think I even heard him say a few things like he was sorry and that he didn't want to leave his family. As best as I could I got him on his back, laying on a pillow on the bed. He curled up into a little ball and I put a blanket at the end of the bed, over him and quietly walked out of the room. If it was me, I'd want to be alone, so I shut the door half way and carefully walked down the stairs on my crutches.

I sat out in the living room, with Matthew, who was playing with Lego's. I started helping him build a fort with the Lego's when Katie came out with Emma, both giggling. Emma ran over and jumped on my lap. Katie sat on the couch holding her belly.

"How you feeling Katie bug?" She sighed at em and I laughed pushing Emma's hair off her face.

"Well I'm exhausted. This is the first time since being pregnant where I actually got to spend time with kids…and I'm starting to regret this whole baby thing." I giggled and she rubbed her belly smiling. "But I am so excited to be a mom." I nodded and she glanced around. "How's Carlos?" I shrugged my shoulders and turned up to the TV.

"He's had better days." She nodded and we both watched the kids run around the living room playing. Jennifer and Jessie eventually came out both sitting on the floor, playing with Jessie's dolls. It didn't take long for me to get drowsy, and I fell asleep with Emma on my lap. I woke up, when I heard dog barking and the front door open. I saw our mastiffs run in, chasing the kids, while Kendall limped in holding two big duffle bags. He tossed them on the ground by the couch and quickly sat next to me. He put his head back, held his ribs, and gasped out. I quickly sat up and put my hand on his. "You okay baby?" He nodded and opened his eyes slowly.

"Just sore. I could use a bubble bath or something…" I laughed and leaned in kissing his cheek. He turned his head quick and connected our lips. "You look…" He pecked along my face. "Well rested." I nodded and pulled away.

"I had a little nap." He sat up and groaned. I watched James walk in holding a few envelopes of mail.

"You have mail sir." He chucked them at me and laughed shutting the door with his butt. "Where's Carlos?" I cleared my throat and everyone went deathly quiet around me.

"Up stairs in bed." James nodded and started walking to the stairs. "DO you want some help? Kendall…go help him up…" Kendall started standing but James laughed.

"I'm alright you worry wart." I sighed and Kendall and I watched him walk up the stairs. I looked back down at the mail and saw two envelopes. One was a hospital bill for Matthew.

"They were quick to bill us." I showed Kendall and he sighed taking it from me. "I thought they had my credit card on file?" He shook his head opening the envelope and pulled out the paper.

"No I changed it, so they could charge it to mine, but they haven't done it yet. Their just letting us know we will be charged for almost a grand. But…Matthew's healthy and okay now, so it's alright." I nodded and looked down at the other note in my hand. As I opened it, he kissed along my neck, and all over my cheek. I pulled out the paper, not knowing where this came from. There was no return address, just my name on the front of the envelope. I placed the envelope on the table and opened the paper.

"_Logan,_

_I am taking care of that guy who hurt you and your husband. You guys will never be bothered again. By them or me. I am sorry for what I've done."_

I turned the paper around and even look in the envelope to see if there was anything else, like maybe a name, but nothing.

"Who was that from? What is it?" I turned to Kendall and handed him the note. He read it fast and his eyebrows scrunched together.

"Tim?" He turned to me and shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe…but how could he have taken care of Jones?" I shook my head and he folded the note back up. "Well if it is him, then we should be happy we don't have to worry about him anymore." I nodded but it still didn't feel right.

"Isn't Jones missing?" Kendall turned to me.

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled. "What you think that, that has something to do with Tim?" I held my eyebrows up and he sighed. "I thought I was supposed to be the paranoid one…" I gently slapped his arm and he wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling em into him. "Just stop worrying. We are alright now, and we don't need to worry about any of that anymore. Our lives can go back to normal now…"

**OKAY…SO I HAVE AN IDEA, A TWIST IN MY STORY IF YOU WILL AND I WANT TO DO SOEMTHGIN DIFFERENT WITH THIS SOTRY. I WANT TO GO A HEAD IN TIME, MAYBE 10 YEARS, BECAUSE I HAVE A FEW DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS I WANT THIS STORY TO GO…SO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. **


	12. Chapter 12: What woudl I do without You?

**SO IT'S NOT MOVED FORWARD YET. I WANTED TO CLEAR SOME THING SUP FIRST AND I WANTED TO LEAVE JAMES AND CARLOS'S RELATIOSNHIP UP IN THE AIR FOR ALL YOU LOVELY READERS WHO ARE CHOMPIGN AT THE BITES FRO THEM TO GE TBACK TOGETHER…SORRY. ENJOY!**

_What would I do without you?"_

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." I nibbled at Logan's ear and he nodded brushing Emma's hair. I slowly stood up, hating how sore I was and made my way to the stairs. Since we were going to be staying with James, he already set up a room for us, and all I really wanted to do was lay down and fall into a coma. But being a dad of two makes you run around as long as you need to fro your kids. So I climbed the stairs, slowly and unzipped my sweater. When I got to the top I took a left to go down to our room when I heard talking from James and Carlos. I stopped hoping James had a heart like I know he does.

"I can't just take you back Carlos. You fucked another guy. You shared something with another guy that I've only ever shared with you! How can I ever look at you the same?" It was a whisper but I could hear the hurt and pain in James voice.

"James…I wish I could take all of this back but I can't and if I had to kiss your feet every day to prove to you that I love you i would. Just please give me the chance to go back into your heart. Please…baby…"

"Don't' touch me Carlos. We're done. I can't be around you anymore." I took a few steps and peeked into their bedroom door. James as standing tall looking down at a very upset and crying Carlos. "You can come see Jessie when you want, but I don't want you here." Carlos looked up, taking one more step closer to James who looked away fast and clenched his jaw when Carlos's hand's went on his chest. "You need to leave Carlos."

"I love you James."

"I don't love you anymore." I knew Carlos's heart broke hearing that, but when I heard it…I don't know. I felt like my family was slowly falling apart. I had enough and quickly walked the rest of the way down the hall into my temporary room. I shut the door and walked to the bed. I picked up my phone from the nightstand and quickly searched through the numbers.

I was worried about James and Carlos, and it made me sad to think they'd get a divorce but I had some of my own problems at the time and I needed to take care of my family. So I found the number from the cop who said he was going to find the guys who beat up Logan and I. I may have told Logan there was nothing to worry about, but getting a phone call and then a note from this douche bag was enough for me, to make sure he was still locked up.

I slowly walked into the bathroom and pressed the phone between my ear and shoulder and shimmied out of my sweater.

"Officer Swanson?"

"Hi officer…this is Kendall Knight. We spoke earlier today at the hospital."

"Of course Mr. Knight. What can I help you with?"

"Well…" I stopped seeing myself in the mirror and couldn't believe I've been walking around like that. My face was pretty busted up, my left eye black and blue and blood still stained around my mouth.

"Mr. Knight?" I smiled and turned on the sink.

"Sorry. It's just been a tough day. I was just curious to know if you had found Jones yet?" He sighed and I grabbed a wash cloth wetting it.

"Unfortunately no. But we would know if he was any where you and your family. We have a squad car watching." I started wiping around my mouth getting the blood off and turned to lean against the counter.

"Okay, That's great." I paused and put the wash cloth down. "Do you know for sure if Tim Saunders is still in the mental hospital?" It went quiet on the other end and I gently wiped around my mouth.

"Mr. Knight…Tim is never going to be released from the hospital. He is always being guarded. He can get out."

"Is he allowed to make calls and send out letters?" Again it wen quiet and I turned back to the sink. I tossed the wash cloth in sink and sighed. "The silence is reassuring."

"He is allowed to make calls and send notes. Because we thought he had killed himself, we didn't find the need for Logan to put up a restraining order, which would make sure he didn't send out anything to him. Not even contact him. The next time you get the call or a note, ignore it and throw the notes away. Have Logan come in on Monday and he cn file for the restraining order." I let out a uneasy sig, knowing that wouldn't sit well with Logan but nodded anyway.

"Will do. Thank you Officer Swanson."

"Anytime Mr. Knight." I hung up and gently set my phone on the bathroom counter. I again looked at myself in the mirror. I turned the faucet back on, and just as I bent over to wash my whole face I heard someone walking into the room, on crutches. I straightened back out and walked out into the room. Logan quickly sat on the bed and fell back sighing out.

"How's your back?" He raised a hand and gave me a thumbs up. I walked over to the other side of the bed and got on my knees. I put my hands outside his body and bent down kissing his lips softly. I pulled back up, and looked down at him, upside down. "How's my baby?" He smiled and reached up running his fingertips over the skin on my neck and gently pulled me back down.

"I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I don't want to see any more people that want to hurt us." I laughed and kissed the tip of his nose. "And I'd really like to cuddle." I laughed and sat up, getting off the bed. "Oh and your mother would like to speak to you. Her and Katie are leaving tomorrow. I guess Katie is pretty far along, and her fiancé wants her back home when she gives birth." I nodded and walked back into the bathroom. "We should take a bubble bath." I again giggled and heard the bed move around in the room. "Or…" He yawned loudly and I started washing my face. "We could take a power nap. Remember when we used to do that when the kids were younger? We'd put them down for a nap set our alarms for a half hour and then wake up, when they did?" I stood up, grabbing a dry cloth and wiping my face dry. "God I miss those days when they were my little babies." I smiled and turned off the light walking out into the room. He was laying on his back, a pillow under his casted knee. He turned to me and I quickly got on the bed, next to him, laying on my stomach. I pulled his arm out and scooted closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder. His hand started slowly tracing up and down my back.

"First of all they still are little babies." He snorted and I closed my eyes, letting his scent invade my nose. "Second of all…all you have ot do is say the word, and we'll call the doc up and say we want number three."

"I know…and I do want it Kendall. Don't think I don't…I just think we need to get Emma in a better school, Matthew's diabetes under control, our own house and maybe get ourselves fully healed before we do it." I looked up opening my eyes and he gave a small smile. "DO you hate me for wanting to wait…maybe a year?" I laughed and scooted up closer kissing his lips softly. I laid my head back down on his shoulder and sighed out.

"I could never hate you. Bu ti have a feeling you'll hate me."

"Why? What did you do?" I looked up, mouth open and he giggled.

"I am appalled you'd think it would be my fault!" He raised an eyebrow and I smiled. "I talked to Officer Swanson? You need to go down to the court on Monday and file for a restraining order against Tim. He's still locked up but he can still send you notes and call unless you get the restraining order." He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and nodded.

"I don't hate you. If that's what will make him go away I'm all for it. Did he say anything about Jones?" I shook my head and he shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well. We safe here." I nodded and he sighed out closing his eyes. "Can we just take a tiny nap?" I laughed and laid my head back down.

"Whatever you want handsome?"


	13. Chapter 13: 10 Years Gone Too Fast

_10 Years Gone Too Fast_

I pulled into the driveway slowly seeing Kendall's car. I parked, and cut the engine. As soon as I opened my door, taking off my seatbelt, I could hear yelling.

"You are not going out with him!"

"You're being ridiculous daddy!" I sighed and quickly grabbed the carton of milk and small plastic bag, with the cough syrup. I got out, slammed my door and quickly walked up the front walkway. I opened the door and almost regretted it.

"You are 15 years old! You can't even drive!"

"That's why he's driving daddy!" I slammed the door and they both turned to me. They were standing in front of the couch in the middle of the living room, trying to be louder than the other.

"Do either of you care that Matthew is as sick as a dog up there?" I raised my eyebrows and could tell Kendall felt bad but Emma just turned back to Kendall. "What is the problem?" Kendall walked past Emma, got next to me and turned to face her.

"A senior with dreamy eyes and a new Mustang asked her out tomorrow and she thinks she can go." I sighed and walked over to her. She was giving me her best puppy dog look and I almost bought it. I shoved the carton of milk in her hands and pointed behind her, to the kitchen.

"Have the dishes been done?" She shook her head and I grinned. "Go clean up the kitchen and when you're done your dad and I will have a talk about it, okay?" She smiled and turned quick, hopping in the kitchen. I spun quick and glared at Kendall. "Have you checked on him?"

"Right after you left he called me in and asked if I could set up his X-Box so I did and then started watching Spiderman with him, but then she came home and…well you heard the rest." I nodded and walked to him grabbing his hand, and dragging him upstairs. We walked hand in hand to Matthews half closed door and I pushed it open. I could have cried out. Matthew was laying on his side, curled up under his blankets sleepily looking at his TV. I walked to him letting go of Kendall's hand and kneeled on the floor next to his bed.

"How ya feeling?" He gave a weak smile and sighed.

"I'm so tired but couldn't fall asleep."

"I'm sorry buddy." Kendall got beside me and Matthew slowly sat up, yawning and shaking his head.

"Not your fault Emma's a skank and thinks she has to be popular." I frowned and Kendall snickered beside me. I elbowed him, hitting his shin, and he got down right beside me. "Did she pick up my homework?" I turned to Kendall and he nodded.

"You have math, reading Of Mice and Men, and a history paper." I turned back to him and he nodded rubbing his eyes.

"SO I got you cherry cough syrup and I'm making spaghetti for dinner but I can make you whatever you want." I took the syrup out of the bag and he laughed.

"How about a t-bone?" Again Kendall giggled next to me and I frowned pulling the plastic wrap off the top part of the bottle. "Can I just have tomato soup?" I nodded still looking down.

"I'll make my mom's recipe." I turned to Kendall and he smiled. "She takes like…quesso dip for like chips, gets it hot, heats up the soup and then mixes the two. It is the best darn soup you will ever have." I laughed and Matthew nodded. I opened up the top and poured in the right amount of cherry syrup and handed it up to him.

"This will make you sleep but I'll wake you up for dinner." He nodded and quickly swallowed it hard. When he brought it down, Kendall reached behind me to his nightstand and grabbed the bottle of water. He handed ti to him and Matthew drank some, closing his eyes and swallowing slow. I stood up, but bent down kissing the top of his head. I stepped back, watched him cap the bottle and put it on his nightstand. He laid back down and curled up into a ball, just like when he was a little kid and sighed cosign his eyes.

"Thanks Pop. Thanks dad." I smiled and felt an arm wrap around my waist, pulling em out. We quietly walked out and I shut the door completely turning into Kendall.

"Okay…what's our plan of attack for Ems?" He smiled and ran his hands up my back, making me shiver. He stopped on my shoulder blades, making my arms go up on his shoulders. I rested my arms there and ran my hands through his hair.

"Well…she's not going. End of plan."

"Someone doesn't like hearing boys are attracted to his little girl."

"Because she is just that Logan. A little girl. She's 15…"

"Almost 16…"

"And isn't going to be going out with a 17 year old."

"What are you going to do when she is 18, out of the house, dating a guy with a billion tattoos, drives a motorcycle, and smokes cigarettes."

"Who says she's ever leaving?" I frowned at him and he pouted. "Its not fair. I don't want her growing up." I smiled and got on my tippy toes and kissed him softly. He pulled me in, crashing me into his body. He kissed me back harder, and I forced him hard into the wall. His hands went back down my body and pushed into my back jean pockets. He squeezed hard onto my ass and I let out a little moan. I gave a tiny tug at his hair and let him push his tongue in my mouth. He then let out a little moan and I smiled into the kiss. I pulled back fast but he kept ahold of me. "I know what you're doing…" I laughed and quickly untangled our limbs.

"We are going to have a mature conversation with her. We are going to let her go, with a 10 o clock curfew and if she ruins this trust, it is the last time." He only nodded, leaning in for another kiss, but I turned quick and walked tot eh stairs, going back down fast.

We did have a nice mature talk with her and we gave her a 10 curfew that she agreed to and gave bo9th of us hugs and kisses. I then made dinner for everyone and Kendall brought Matthew down to eat in the living room with us. While I had Kendall and Emma clean up I went up stairs to take a long awaited shower. I just stood under the water, exhausted from my day of cleaning the house, doing Matthew's laundry, trying to make him feel better and then waiting for Kendall and Emma to get home.

To say that I was a stay at home dad was a sever understatement. When Matthew expressed his interest in hockey, Kendall took it upon himself to teach him everything and soon enough we were going to pee wee hockey games, and then it just grew from there. Now he plays for the high school, and even thought he's only a freshman, he's one of the best players. But not only does he play, Kendall coaches. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep that man away from hockey. So it was only natural I became the "mom" more or less. I cook, clean, drive, teach, heal…it's overwhelming and sometimes these little showers at night are the only times I can spend by myself, just by myself. Thinking of it that way sounds wrong and like I don't like being a husband or a father, but at the end of the day I just want two seconds of peace.

I finally got out, after 10 minutes when I heard more laughter from down stairs. More then Kendall and the kids. I felt something strong race through my body. It could almost be considered fear. It was something that came so natural to me now that I was surprised it even scared me anymore. 10 years and I still fear everything around me. And no matter how many times I was told it's nothing, you're fine, I wont let anything happen to you, I can't get that fear out of my brain.

But I quickly recognized the laughter and then heard another new laughter. James and Jessie were over. Duh. It's Friday night. I dressed myself in a pair of sweats and a white shirt covered with a zip up hoddie of Kendall's. I bounced down the stairs and I saw Jessie first. She turned quick and smiled big, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Uncle Logan!" I laughed and hugged her seeing James stuff his face with spaghetti. We let go and ket an arm around her slim waist. Watching Jessie grow up was mind blowing. She was adopted and no one ever found out who her real parents were but they had to have been gods. She had an incredible figure, long black hair, a flawless face and a heart of pure gold, no doubt from her dads. Both of them.

"Why do you never wait for us to eat?" I walked Jessie over to James and flicked his forehead.

"I tell you every time idiot. Between 5 and 6. It's almost 8 now." He laughed and shrugged his shoulders shoving more food in. I let go of Jessie and walked to the couch sitting down between Kendall and Matthew.

"Uhm Emma I have that dress you wanted to borrow for your date. You have to try it on!" They both giggled and ran off to the stairs, Jessie holding a black wardrobe bag. Kendall turned to James who sat down on the ottoman in front of Matthew, still eating.

"How bad is the dress? Will I be killed?" James shook his head and smiled.

"Well…Emma isn't…grown up quite like Jessie is if you get my drift…" He nudged Matthew who glanced up at him from his math book.

"You mean she doesn't have tits?" I smacked the back of his head and turned to Kendall.

"Stop teaching him to be a pervert!" All three of them laughed and James shrugged.

"She's got to grow up some time Kendall. Make it fast like a Band-Aid, and be thankful she actually told you she has a date. I never found out about Jessie's first boyfriend after they broke up and she was on her third boyfriend." Kendall sighed, and sat back drinking form his beer. I sat back snuggling under his arm that then wrapped around my shoulder. "So Matthew? Any hotties on you mind?"

"Not any that want to come near me with this cold." James laughed and shook his head. I watched Matt go back to his homework furiously writing down numbers to figure out a problem. I then glanced at James who pulled out his phone and sighed. He typed quick and put his phone on the coffee table next to him. I turned to Kendall and saw him eyeing James as well.

"How are you doing man?" James looked over at us and gave a half smile.

"It's getting harder everyday. Jessie is starting to apply for college." I laid back on Kendall and nodded. "I mean…in less then a year…she'll be grown up so damn fast she'll be moving out, and I'll be alone again. And worst of all….he paused and I could see him thinking about something. Something probably starting with a "c". I saw Matthew look up at him and James quickly smiled and stood up, plate empty. "Listen to me, complaining about being old. I sound like Kendall!" Now I was laughing and Kendall gently slapped my arm. I turned hearing hurried footsteps and saw Jessie coming down the stairs, barefoot smiling big.

"Okay here she comes. She isn't completely made up, but were waiting for tomorrow. But this is the dress and shoes!" Kendall groaned and turned his head also looking at Jessie at the bottom of the stairs. When I saw the dark blue dress tight around her middle thigh I could feel Kendall tense up next to me. She looked like a women and he was not going to react well. She was wearing 3 inch black pumps and had a huge grin on her face. I smiled back at her and shook my head.

"You look absolutely stunning. You are so freaking beautiful Emma." She blushed and smoothed out the fabric.

"It's a little big in the boob area, not that you guys care, but I can bring in, in the back and she will look fantastic!" Emma and Jessie squealed and Emma turned to Kendall.

"What do you think daddy?" I saw him drink more of his beer and close his eyes I sighed and patted his thigh. He set his bottle back down and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's a little short." Emma's face fell and I heard Matthew chuckle next to me. "I mean…isn't it giving off…the wrong impression?" Emma's cheeks went beat red and I elbowed him hard in the stomach. "What? I don't want anything happening that shouldn't be happening!" Emma stomped her foot and quickly ran back up the stairs, Jessie following right behind. "James am I right or am I right?" I turned and saw James sit back on the ottoman, beer in hand.

"I bough Jessie that dress. I mean…I gave her the money, and I've let her wear it out in pubic plenty of times."

"Yes but was she 15?" James grinned and shook his head. "Yeah that's the difference…"

"No Kendall." We both turned to James and he leaned forward resting on his knees. "Kendall…did you raise a stupid daughter?"

"well…" I elbowed Matthew who quickly went back to work coughing.

"Do you trust her?" Kendall sat up and set his beer down hard.

"Yes but I don't trust…"

"The guy she's going out with. Heard a hundred times before Kendall. And I've felt what you're going through. But she is a beautiful and smart girl who knows when too far is too far. Trust me, if she's spent enough time with Jessie she knows enough to know when it gets bad." With that Kendall was left speechless and sat back clenching his jaw. "And the more you push her away and tell her no, is when she starts doing shit behind your back." I grinned at James and was thankful he had this experience and that Jessie had sort of stepped in to play the "mom" part. At least with the "female" problems and boys. It was pretty helpful. I turned to Kendall and smiled.

"You really should go talk to her, and tell her how God damn beautiful she is." He groaned and stood up fast walking to the stairs. He sighed all the way up and I laughed with James. He opened his mouth to say something again, but there were knocks at the door. I got up fast and walked to the door pushing the sleeves up on my sweater. I opened the door and smiled. "Hey Carlos!" He beamed at me and hugged me tight. I moved out of the way, and he walked in sighing.

"Why am I always late?" James grinned at him and scooted over patting the seat next to him. Carlos walked to it and sat down fast. I took my original seat next to Matthew who was again writing furiously. "So…I was at my place and as I was leaving to come here I got a really, and I mean really weird phone call." I pulled my legs up to my chest and raised my eyebrows. "And I need to talk to you, Logan and Kendall about it, but I don't think Matt should hear it." Matt looked up fast and frowned.

"Rude Carlos! Why can't I hear it?" I sighed and closed his math book.

"You really should shower because you didn't take one after practice yesterday and laid in bed in your own sick…so get to going. And send your dad down." I put his book on the table and he groaned standing up, wrapping his blanket around him. When he was ll the way upstairs I turned to Carlos who was nervously playing with his hands. "How bad is it?" He shook his head and James offered him his beer. Carlos took it, and downed at least half of it. When he gave it back to James he smiled small at me.

"Liquid courage." I nodded and heard the stairs creak. We all turned to see Kendal walking down looking a little sad.

"Hey Carlos." Carlos smiled and Kendall took a seat next to me. He wrapped an arm around my body and kissed my ear. "What's up?" Carlos let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well…like I said I got a weird call." We both nodded and even James looked curious. "It was an unknown number and no name, and even when I answered it and he said hello I had no idea who he was, but then he said his name and…" He glanced at me and we locked eyes. "Logan…It was…it was Tim." My heart dropped and the arm that was holding around me squeezed and Kendall sucked in a hard breath. "He said…he got out last week. He said he's cured, which I have no idea what that means and he said he was sorry for what he did to James." James looked over at me and I could see panic in his eyes. "He said he tried contacting you, and sending you something, but they said no one will let him, and asked me to tell you he was sorry, and was going to make everything up to you and your family." That same fear I felt earlier, and everyday before today since then, came back in, and I literally felt like breaking down and crying. It was either crying or actually passing. I don't think it matter what one came because I wasn't going to be mentally there anyway.

**SO I APOLOGIZE FRO TI BEING SO DAMN LONG. I DON'T USUALLY MAKE CHAPTERS THIS LENGTHY ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYOEN TO GET BORED BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS APPROPRITE TO PUT A LOT IN THE ONE. I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF HOLES AND A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT I WILL THEM ALL OF THEM IN THE FOLLWOIGN CHAPTERS, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AND IF YOU ARE CONFUSED, IT'S ALRIGHT! I WANT IT THAT WAY! THANKS FOR READING!**


	14. Chapter 14: The Fight is Won

_The Fight is won, but You have lost_

I didn't have to see Logan's face to know what was running through his mind. He stood up and stared down at Carlos, who looked away towards James, and swallowed hard.

"You're lying." I stood up grabbing Logan's arm and held one hip with the other hand.

"Logan…" He turned to me and I could see the tears in his eyes. He shook his head and his bottom lip quivered.

"10 years Kendall…"

"Babe I know…but he can't come near you. Even if he is out, he cannot come near you." Logan turned back to Carlos and James and I saw James wrap an arm around Carlos's shoulders. "Did he say where he was Carlos?" Carlos only shook his head and I saw the first couple of tears fall off Logan's face. I could hear the kids laughing upstairs and I knew if they saw Logan like this, they'd get worried, and I'd have to tell them why he was upset. We decided they didn't need to know about what about 10 years ago, only because whenever it's brought up, Logan's shuts off and breaks down. "Logan…" He shoved me away and the back of my legs hit the couch. I almost fell back but stayed standing. He only looked at me when he walked past and quickly made his way up the stairs. We stayed quiet for only a second. There was a loud door slam that not only made me and James jump, but made Carlos turn his face into James's body. James sighed and wrapped both arms around him. I sighed out, and sat back hard rubbing my hands over my face. All I could think about was when I got down into that basement and saw him, lying on his stomach, back bloody, not making a move or a sound. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried my hardest to block out the image.

"Kendall…I didn't mean to upset him. I just thought you guys should know." Carlos sounded near tears and when I opened my eyes I saw him staring at me, eyes wide, near tears.

"Carlos I'm glad you told me, but next time something like this comes up, just tell me. We need to keep Logan in the dark about this."

"You want to lie to him?" I turned to James and he shook his head. "Logan hates lying."

"When it comes to this…don't bring it up around him. Ever again." Both of them went stone face and I looked away. I was pissed. There was no reason Logan needed to hear about any of this, and it was pretty idiotic for Carlos to even think of telling Logan. I felt my fist clench and clenched my jaw, hating how mad I was. "I'm going to go check on him, make yourselves comfortable." I stood and turned but stopped. Emma and Matthew were at the bottom of the stairs. Like always Emma was holding around Matthews arm standing behind him. Logan and I rarely fought, but when we did, it scared Emma and she would turn to her brother for comfort. And Matthew would usually fight us back making us yell at him. I could also see Jessie standing at the top of the stairs, not sure what to do.

"Daddy?" Emma's voice was barely a squeak and I moved over to them. Even thought Matthew was sick, and looked kind of green he held his ground and stared me down. "What's wrong with papa?" I shook my head and pushed my sleeves up on my rms.

"Nothing…we just…he's okay."

"Did you guys have a fight?" Matthew continued to stare at me and I sighed.

"No. We are fine." I glanced over my shoulder and saw Carlos sitting with his head in his hands. James was shooting daggers at me and I quickly turned away. "Let me go talk to him, and when we come back down…we'll…talk to you guys." They both nodded and walked past them, going straight upstairs. I passed Jessie without saying one word. I went straight to the bedroom door and pushed it open. I stepped in fast and quietly closed the door. I kept a grip on the hand and fell back against the door. I could hear Logan, crying, and sobbing quietly, but I couldn't see him. It only seemed to piss me off more, and I was glad I got away from Carlos when I did. "Loges?" He remained unseen but I heard him move around, on the other side of the bed. I sighed quietly and slowly made my way over to him. I walked around the bed slowly, putting my hand sin my pockets. I stopped at the corner seeing him. He was sitting up against the bed, legs pulled tight to his chest. His face was pushed into his knees but I could still hear his sobs. I gently got down on my knees and crawled over to him. I got extremely close and nuzzled my nose into the side of his head. He only cried out louder and I put one arm on his leg and pulled him towards me. He sobbed again but raised his head. His eyes were red and swollen while his cheeks were red and blotchy. But I didn't get to look at him for very long. He threw his arms around my neck and climbed onto my body. I pulled him up, holding around him like a baby and fell back on my butt. I leaned against the bed and let him curl up into a ball on my lap. I let him cry for a full 10 minutes before he calmed down and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He groaned out and held his left eye.

"I think my contact fell out." I quickly scanned my body while he blinked and wiped the tears off his face. "Yeah It's lost. Oh well I have another pair." I looked back up at him and reached up, cupping his face. I rubbed over his cheek with my thumb and he sighed. "Sorry I flipped out. Is Carlos upset?"

"Who cares about Carlos?" He stopped moving and frowned. "He shouldn't have told you. He should have told me, and then I would have taken care of it." He looked down and grabbed my free hand. He laced our fingers together and sighed.

"Did the kids hear?"

"Only you slamming the door." He looked up, pained, and I chuckled. "And like always Matthew looked ready to beat me up because I made you upset."

"You didn't upset me." I laughed and he groaned pushing back into me, and laying his head on my shoulder. "Why would they let him out Kendall?" I wrapped tight around him and laid my cheek on the top of his head.

"Here's my theory. He's not out."

"But Carlos said…"

"Fuck what Carlos said, just listen to me." He nodded and I slowly rubbed up and down his back. "Is pretty damn clear Tim is a complete psychopath. Hence the reason he's in the hospital. Do you think there's a small chance he only told Carlos that because he is in fact insane? Maybe he thinks, he's out, and that he's going to make up for what he did. He's just a lunatic babe…there is no way in hell he can come near you. I promise. And as long as we have that restraining order on him, he cant contact you." He stayed quietly only sniffling every now and then and I moved my hand under his shirt on his back and rubbed over the soft smooth skin on his back.

"Can you call tomorrow?"

"Of course." He snuggled deeper into my body and sighed softly. "We need to explain to the kids."

"No." I sighed and stopped the rubbing. "Why do they need to know? It would only make them look at me different."

"Wait…what?" He sat up and groaned. He looked at me and shook his head. "Are you really afraid of what the kids will think?"

"Kendall…what am I to them?" I raised my eyebrows and he turned away. "While you're out, being super dad, coaching our sons hockey team, and threating the boys who chase after you're daughter. While I'm at home cooking and cleaning, and taking care of stupid things." He turned back to me and shrugged his shoulders. He opened his mouth to speak again but I shook my head.

"That's how you feel? That the things you do, the kids don't appreciate?"

"It's not about appreciation. It's about you being the big man and me being…the one who nags at them to do their homework and eat their vegetables. I'm the mom Kendall, and if they found out about this, it would just be another reason for them to see me as the weak, helpless papa."

"Logan! Please give your kids a little more credit than that!" He turned away and shook his head, pushing up and off me. He walked briskly into the bathroom, switching on the light. I stayed seating unable to comprehend why he would even feel or think this way. "You do realize that you sound ridiculous right now, right?" He peeked out form the bathroom, his contact solution in his hands.

"Don't you dare tell me what I'm feeling is ridiculous Kendall Knight. You have no idea what it feels like." He went back into the bathroom and I stood up fast.

"I have no idea because some stubborn jackass won't tell me!" I walked into the doorway of the bathroom and watched him take out his contact. He closed the lid fast and quickly pulled his glasses out of the black case. He put them on his face and turned to me.

"I may be a stubborn jackass but you are an inconsiderate asshole." He walked to me but I put both hand sup on the door frame blocking his way out. He groaned and looked down. "What do you want form me?"

"We need to tell the kids. They are plenty old enough." He looked up, laughing and shoved me a little.

"This coming from the same man who has no problem with his son going out on 20 thousand dates but when it comes from his beautiful daughter, she's too young! You're a god damn hypocrite!" I grabbed his arms and held them down at his sides.

"The deserve to know! What if something happens?!" He froze completely and I could see the fear race through his body.

"What…what do you mean? What-what could happen?" I let go of him and looked away. "I though he could never come near us again?"

I'll be the first to admit, the thought of Tim being out, and coming to find us, and either hurting Logan, or hurting our kids to get to Logan has crossed my mind. But that was more of a couple of years ago. Well actually the thought creeped into my head a year after everything happened. Bu ti never told Logan, for the only reason of keeping him level headed. When I turned back to him, I could tell he was not level headed and I felt awful.

"Do you think he'd come after the kids?" His voice was shaky and very, low. I tried, desperately to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't find the off switch.

"The thought has come into my head, and all I could think about was needing to tell the kids, so their prepared." My voice was also low and quiet and his mouth fell open. "If they knew, they would be more…aware of the people around them. It would be just for their safety Logan." He continued to stare up at me and for a whole minute neither of us said a word. He finally looked down and nodded.

"Then we tell them." I couldn't really believe what I heard and lifted his head. His eyes were closed and a tear was on one of his lenses.

"Really?" He opened his eyes and quickly took off his glasses wiping them clean. He looked down and cleaned off his glasses.

"If something ever happened to them, it would be my fault. I can't live with that, so yes…we tell them." He looked back up and slipped his glasses on his face. I could only nod and he sighed out nodding back. "Let's go tell them."

**SO DO YOU THINK THEY SHOULD TELL EMMA AND MATTHEW? AND I DIDN'T MAKE IT VERY CLEAR, BUT DO YOU THINK CARLOS AND JAMES SHOULD BE TOGETHER, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEEM THEM REKINDLE AND BE TOGETHER AGAIN? BECAUSE I HAVE A CUTE WAY TO MAKE THEM GET BACK TOGETHER, AND THEN EVEN GET REMARRIED…SO LET ME KNOW! THANKS FOR READING AND LEAVING COMMENTS!**


	15. Chapter 15: The Ugly Truth

_The Ugly Truth_

I stayed closely behind Kendall, using his body as a shield. I felt warm and a little sick, but seeing the kids made me feel better. Emma was sitting on the couch legs crossed, book in her lap. Matthew was right next to her staring at James who was telling him a random story. Carlos and Jessie weren't there, and I heard hushed whispering in the kitchen. Kendall cleared his throat and I got beside him, wrapping my arms around his one. Both kids looked up and I could see Matthew glaring at Kendall.

"James…can you give us a minute?" James smiled and stood up walking into the kitchen, shutting the door. Kendall moved to the couch and sat on the other end, next to Matthew. I quickly climbed on the arm rest and sat down, letting him lean back into me. "We need to tell you guys something. Something that is very hard for both of us to talk about." I glanced down at the ground and twirled my fingers around in my lap.

"What's wrong pop?" I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. "Dad…what's going on?" I heard a small sigh form Kendall and opened my eyes just a sliver.

"10 years ago…we got a new neighbor, over at the old house in L.A. His name was Tim and he lived by himself." Kendall stopped and breathed out hard. This was really hard for him, and I could understand. And even thought I wanted to tell him even if he thinks the kids are ready, for some reason, he's not. He can barely talk to me about it, and it happened to me. I guess seeing the love of your life being…raped messes up your head.

"We…we knew there was something wrong with him but…I don't know. We never expected him to…"

"Dad stop." I snapped my head to the left and saw Matthew looking at us, not as standoffish any more. Emma leaned forward and rested on her legs. "We…we know about him. About what happened." I felt my jaw drop. I know I have intelligent kids but…we did our hardest to keep all of this hidden. Not only are they smart, they're freaking sneaky as hell. They get it from me.

"What do you mean you know?" Matthew turned to Emma and her cheeks went red and she swallowed hard.

"A few years ago, when we were spending the night with Jessie, I heard James talking to Carlos after Carlos dropped Jessie off. They were talking about it being 8 years ago, and they said they were happy he was still locked up." I relaxed a little and Matthew glanced up at me.

"We listened some more, and heard Uncle James say Pop's back was healed nicely and that you could barely see where he was cut." I felt a bad hurt rush through my body and looked away from my kids fast.

"Why didn't you two come to us?"

"Because we though you guys had a pretty good reason to keep it from us, and if it was a bad as I thought, I decided to do research myself while Matt tried to get it out of James and Carlos."

"Did you?" I turned and saw Matthew grinning at Kendall. Kendall crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.

"Dad he made me pinky promise I wouldn't say anything." Kendall tilted his head and Matthew looked down. "He showed me the police report." I got off the couch and turned away from them. "I'm sorry! We're sorry…we just were curious!" I put my hands on my hips and could only think of grabbing James's precious head of hair and smashing his face into the ground. It's not enough to talk about a horrible part in my life in secrecy behind my back with his ex husband, but he had to show the report to my kid. I could kill him.

"So is this why your upset papa?" I closed my eyes and heard movement behind me.

"He keeps trying to get ahold of him. And…even though I am sure he can never get out, you two have to know how crazy this guy is."

"Dad I would never let anything happen to Ems." I had to smile, hearing Matthew being protective of his sister and heard a small chuckle.

"I know Matt, and I love it, just…be more aware, please?" I didn't hear anything but could image the kids both nodded. "Okay…good." I took a deep breath in, and slowly turned. All three were staring up at me and I gave a small smile.

"Who want's ice cream?" Emma jumped up, letting the book fall off her lap and charged towards me. She wrapped her arms around my torso and laid her head on my chest.

"I love you papa." I smiled and held her tight kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too. You want to help me serve ice cream?" She nodded against me an di walked us towards the kitchen. I could see Matthew getting up but Kendall grabbed his arm and gave him a look. Matthew nodded and sat back watching us. I decided to brush it off, and walked Emma into the kitchen, letting her turn and push the door open. As soon as we stepped in, I grabbed Emma holding her back. James was right in Carlos's face staring down at him. Carlos was glaring up at him, both of them looking beyond pissed.

"Dad please stop…" I watched Jessie appear out form behind James's broad body and she tugged on his arm. "I'm allowed to make my own decisions, and talking to Papi helped! Please don't fight! You guys have been doing so good!" I walked around Emma and over to the two.

"You don't get to make her decisions Carlos. You gave up that right when you signed the divorce papers."

"But I'm 18 now…"

"You have to let her go James, and let her make her own choice. If she doesn't want to go to college, she doesn't have to." I sighed and glanced at Jessie. Her big brown eyes were wide, and full of sadness. She was seconds away from crying or hitting them. Se got her temper problem form James, but her huge sensitive heart from Carlos.

"Please don't fight. I'm begging you guys! You promised!" Neither of them acknowledged her and I decided to step in.

"James back up." He snapped to me, one eyebrow raised.

"This is none of your god damn business Logan."

"No it's not, but it's my house and if you'd listen to your daughter or even look at her, you'd understand why I'm telling you to back up." He turned to Jessie who was now crying and both him and Carlos loosened up. Jessie glanced between all of us and quickly ran out, sobbing loudly. I nodded after her to Emma and she nodded, running out after her.

"Who the hell do you think you are? She needs an education Carlos." I turned back and Carlos was shaking his head.

"No James…did you go to college?" James froze and Carlos leaned against the counter. "I didn't either. Why is it fair that we force her to go too? Besides do you even know what she wants to do with her life, or are you too busy trying to buy her love?" I saw James step forward, but I was faster and stood protectively in front of Carlos. James glared down at me and breathed hard.

"Logan get out of the way. This is none of your business."

"I know James, but I wont let you touch him." James raised his eyebrows. "Just calm down and try to have a mature conversation with him."

"Fuck off Logan. Just because your life is so fucking perfect, doesn't mean you have to rub it in my face." I continued to stare up at him and he chuckled. "Oh but wait…how's Tim doing?"

"James!" I was shoved to the side, willingly, and Carlos took his spot in front of me. My whole body went numb and I could only see right in front of me. "What is your problem?!"

"She's going to college Carlos! End of discussion." I could see James walk away and out of the kitchen, leaving both Carlos and I completely in shock.

"I…I am so sorry Logan." Carlos turned around to me and shook his head, drooping his shoulders. "I know for the past couple of months we've been acting like…we can stand being in the same room, but we've just been doing it for Jessie's sake." He sighed out, and put his head back, sighing out. "It's getting worse and worse. And it started when I went on a date three months ago." I watched him closely as he started pacing. "I mean after 9 years…well 10..i thought we were over all this. I finally have just gotten my life on track. I can actually be happy without James, and for once I was going to do something for myself. I was going to stop trying to be the perfect person for him, because I was getting shit back. SO I was hooked up by a friend of a friend and I had a great time. But he found out and…freaked the fuck out." He backed into the wall and slid down slowly. "I give up on him. I'm so done…I never thought I would be happy to have an 18 year old because now we don't have any reason to see each other." I swallowed hard and walked over to him, sitting beside him. I laid my head on his shoulder. I sighed out and felt him lay his head on my head.

"I never realized how good my life actually is Carlos. I'm sorry if I've ever put my needs and wants in front of yours. I'm a horrible friend." He chuckled low an di closed my eyes.

"This coming form the guy who had his husband and son build my deck." I smiled and he shrugged his shoulders. "How are you guys doing?" I shrugged my shoulders back and he again laughed. "Come on…I spilled, now you have to." I dug into him and scooted closer. He grabbed one of my hands and I sighed out shakily.

"Well…were okay…it's just a little tense. And I mean in the bedroom."

"Why?"

"Because for the past 10 years he's been wanting another kid." The kitchen went quiet and I swallowed hard. "I can't do it Carlos. I can't…I just can't, and he doesn't seem to understand. SO of course, we fight, go to bed, and we face away from each other, as far away as possible."

"Can I ask why?"

"Ask why what?" He sighed and squeezed my hand. I closed my eyes. "I'm afraid of being a brand new dad again. I'm afraid of raising another kid in this kind of world where he or she will be judged because they have a dad and a papa, and no mom. I'm terrified one day my kids will have to see how truly ugly the world is. I don't want that for another innocent soul."

"Logan…you need ot talk to Kendall." I smiled and nodded.

"He's too stubborn. It's his way or the highway. There is no talking to that man."

"Sounds like James…no wonder they get along so well."


	16. Chapter 16: Happy to be Me

_Happy to be Me_

Even with my eyes closed I could hear Logan walking in the bedroom. I probably hadn't been asleep for more than a few minutes and my fatigue was trying it's hardest to beat me. But I could hear him taking off his sweater and his shirt and then I felt him crawl on the bed. He got under the blankets, pretty close to me, and finally let out a sigh getting perfectly still.

"Is Carlos alright?"

"Yeah. Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah…" We both went quiet and I opened my eyes hoping and wishing we'd just go to sleep, with no fighting. But instead, I felt soft fingertips on my bare shoulder. I closed my eyes fast and let out a happy sigh. He dragged his fingers down form my shoulder to the back of my neck. I could feel the tiny hairs stand up and clutched the sheet under me. Not having any kind of physical contact form him in a while made me a little insane and just the smile touch of his fingertips could send me over the edge.

"I don't want to end up like Carlos and James." He dragged his fingers down the middle of my back and pushed under the blanket. When they touched the top of my boxers, he slid them up and gently laid his hand on my hip. I opened my eyes again and he pulled on me. I rolled onto my back and turned my head to face him fast. He was staring at me, eyes half way closed. His hand trailed further and eventually stopped just below my belly button. "I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to go to sleep without your arms around me, and I don't want to wake up and go on with our days like the previous night, nothing happened. I'm tired of feeling like there's a huge wall between us, and the more we don't talk about it, the thicker and bigger that wall gets." I turned up to the ceiling and sighed out quietly. His hands stayed on my lower stomach, but his thumb lightly traced up and down my happy trail, softly and slowly. "Please talk to me." I closed my eye an forced my brain to think of the right thing to say. My throat became dry, and my palms got sweaty. "Kendall…please." I opened my eyes and half smiled.

"Did you know when my little sister was born, my mom said all I ever wanted to do was help change, feed and play with her. And anywhere Katie went, I had to go. Ever since I found how fun and loving kids are, all I wanted was to have them." He stayed quiet but continued to trace over the hair on my happy trail. "So when I met the man of my dreams, of course all I wanted with him was to have babies and lots of babies with him. And just like that, we got married and a year later we had the most beautiful little girl in the world. Two years later, we had number two." His thumb stopped moving and I dared to glance at him. I turned slowly and saw him staring down at his hand on my lower stomach. "You know I would give you anything, and everything you could ever want. And I'd like to think I've done a damn good job of making you happy." He moved his head closed placing it on my shoulder and I looked back up at the ceiling again. "I'd also like to think the kids have made you very happy to."

"Of course Kendall." His voice was quiet and if I hadn't had felt the tears on my skin, I wouldn't have been able to tell he was crying.

"Then let me keep making you happy, and myself happy. Let's have another baby. Let's make room in our hearts for one more person, and I promise you, nothing bad will ever happen again. I promise you my life. Just….please Logan." His thumb started to move up and down again and I heard him take in a shaky breath and he made a weird noise out of his throat. It sounded like a sob, but then sound like he said, 'I'm sorry'. I moved my hand up to his and squeezed over it. "Please Logan. I will get on my knees and beg…baby please." He moved very quickly next to me and before I even had time to think about it, he was straddling my lap laying his body on mine. His head laid on my chest and he cried out. I wrapped around his bare back and held him tight. I didn't know what was going through his mind but I could feel what he was thinking. He only had on a pair of thin sweats and my boxers weren't very thick, so it was hard to miss the hard on he was growing. I quickly reached up, and grabbed his face, turning it to me. He wasn't crying that hard, but his eyes were glistening. I quickly wiped under them and he put his hand son my chest pushing himself up a bit.

"Okay…" I continued to hold his face, and he closed his eyes. "Yes." I sat up making him fall back between my legs. I pulled him closer, holding around his neck. "I want another one…" I pulled him in hard, crashing our lips together. We kissed passionately holding onto each other, like our lives depended on it. But this was nothing compared to the feeling of happiness and joy racing through my entire body. My soul was set on fire and all I could think about is seeing his face light up when he got to see the first two being born, and how happy we were. Now we get to do it all over again, and all I wanted was to hold him and kiss him and love him until the end of days. "I love you…" He kissed down my jaw and I wrapped around his back. "And I'm sorry…" His mouth opened over the skin on my neck and he bit down softly.

"Shush…" I pushed him to the side and quickly pushed my body down on his. I laid over him, holding myself looking down at him. His hands moved down my chest and when he got to my boxers a few fingers tucked in, tugging down. "What made you change your mind?" He grinned and pushed my boxers down further. My cock popped out and the cold air touching my skin made me shiver.

"Do you remember when I told you I wanted to try artificial insemination?" I nodded and he moved his hands to my ass and rubbed over my cheeks. "Well when I told you that, I don't know if you realized this but that night when we decided you spent three hours looking it up, reading about it, and getting numbers for doctors. I told myself then, when I woke up and walked downstairs to find you sitting at the kitchen table face inches from the screen, that if I only had you for the rest of my life, I would do anything to make it so." I smiled down at him and he leaned up just with his head, putting his lips on mine. "I love you." He mumbled into my mouth and I pushed my hips down, rubbing the tip of my bare cock over his flat smooth lower stomach. "Mmmm…."I pulled away from his mouth and moved my hips causing an amazing friction between our bare flesh. He slowly closed his eyes and licked his lips. "God damn tease…" I laughed and moved down his body kissing his belly button.

"You have no idea Logan…if I could right now, I'd get you pregnant." He chuckled and arched his back, forcing my lips to touch his skin again.

"How about you just try." I glance dup at him and he was looking down at me. "I don't have the parts btu it doesn't mean we can't…practice?" I felt a fire start in the pit of my stomach and aggressively and quickly, I sat up, tore off his sweats and turned him around. He grabbed a pillow and put his head on it, clutching onto the black pillow case. I raised his hips and he got on his knees, pushing his butt into me. I groaned and grabbed ahold of myself and positioned myself.

"Remember…the kids are here. Don't be yelling my name or anything." He giggled and nodded. That was the last noise he made.

When I woke up the next morning he was curled up into the cutest little ball next to me. He must have gotten up in the middle of the night because he had his boxers on, and one of my flannel shirts, that he was hugging tight around his body. I kissed into his hair, gently got out of bed, and dressed in jeans and a white shirt. I got down stairs expecting it to be empty but I almost yelled out seeing a sleeping bundle on the couch. I got closer and saw it was only Carlos. He was passed out hard, and was slightly drooling. I giggled to myself and walked quietly into the kitchen. I started making a pot of coffee when I heard a car pull up out front. I finished making the cup and walked back out into the living room. I could see a beat up piece of shit car out on the street and a guy, a young guy getting out. As the door shut, I heard movement upstairs, and then hurried footsteps down the stairs. Emma jumped off the bottom step pulling her long brown into a ponytail. She was grinning, and as she opened the door I walked slowly towards her. She let out a little squeal and ran outside, jumping in the arms of the boy. He picked her up and spun her. When he was facing back towards the house he stopped dead seeing me standing in the doorway.

"Mr. Knight…" Emma turned and he let her down. They both stared up at me and I walked out, shutting the door behind me. The kid swallowed and I glanced between them.

"Who is this?" I pointed to him staring at Emma and she blushed.

"Daddy…this is Chris. I'm going out with him tonight." I turned to him and he swallowed hard again.

"Nice to meet you sir." He extended his hand and I ignored it.

"Why do you want to take my daughter out?" Emma slapped her forehead and shook her head.

"Daddy please…" Chris took a step forward and so did I.

"Because I think she's a great girl, and she makes me happy." In other words, he was going to try to score so he could show off in front of his friends.

"Where are you taking here?"

"To the movies…sir."

"Stop calling me sir." He went a little pale and Emma rushed forward standing in front of me, between the two of us. "What movie are you seeing?"

"Whatever movie she wants, Mr. Knight." I sighed and looked down at Emma.

"You are to be home by 9 tonight and if you are not, I'm finding him and killing him. Now get inside. It's freezing." She nodded and quickly turned. She walked up to him and stood on her tippy toes, kissing his cheek. He never stopped looking at me and when she rushed past me, I never heard the door shut and stepped closer to him. "If you as so much as touch her, or make her cry I will do so many awful things to you, you will wish you weren't born…"

"Kendall!" I turned quick and Logan rushed out pushing me to the side. "Hi Chris! Emma told me you were here to drop something off from your mom?" I stared at Chris over Logan's messy head and he nodded.

"Yes…my mom made you a batch of cookies." Logan nodded and Chris turned quick growling lowly.

"Get inside you giant bully." He pushed on my stomach and I huffed turning and walked back into the house. I pushed Emma in and shut the door quick.

"Daddy why did you have to be so mean to him!?"

"Because I was a teenage boy once. I know exactly what it means to go to the "movies"." I air quoted movies and her mouth dropped. I heard the stairs creak and turned to see Matt walking down, pulling a hoodie on. A light bulb clicked and I turned back to Emma. "You can go say goodbye to him." She grinned and ran out past me. The front door slammed and at the same time, Matt walked past me yawning rubbing his eyes. I saw Carlos stir and raise himself and I reached out grabbing Matt's arm. He turned and looked up at me, through tired eyes. "I need a favor."

"Yeah dad?"

"I'm going to give you forty bucks, and I want you to find a girl to take to the movies tonight." He smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"You want me to snoop on Emma."

"I don't trust any guy with her. Just…don't let her know I paid you." He grinned and clapped my arm.

"No problem dad. I'm on the job." He walked away and I laughed.

"And don't tell you father." He gave me a thumbs up and walked into the kitchen. I grinned and put my hands on my hips hearing laughter and talking out front.

"You know Logan and Emma will kill you." I smiled and walked to the couch taking a seat next to Carlos. He stretched and laughed. "But I'd probably do the same thing." I nodded and he laid his head back rubbing his face.

"Why didn't you go home last night?"

"Because I didn't want to drive. My head is pretty fucking messed up right now." I patted his leg and he turned to me. "You know James just as well as I do. What the hell is his God damn problem?" I turned to the front and stared at the fireplace.

"James never stopped loving you Carlos. He was just hurt. Bad. And when you guys actually went through with the divorce…his head got pretty fucked up too. He's always been oddly protective of you. Like, you're his precious jewel or something and if any one even looks at it, he goes insane. So hearing you going on a date, sent him over the edge and now…I don't know. He is literally going to be a giant asshole tell…who knows when." He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. At the same time, the front door opened and Matt came out of the kitchen, a glass of milk in one hand and the phone hand in the other hand pressed to his ear.

"Hey Samantha! Its Matt Knight…it's amazing to hear your voice too…I bet you're cute when you just wake up." Logan turned his head to the side and Matt sat on the other side of Carlos. "Listen, I just got over a cold and have been cooped up in my house for the past week. I was wondering if you'd want to help me feel better and go out with me tonight. Maybe go see movie?" Emma glared down at her brother and he smiled up at her. "Of course we can go see the new Nicholas Sparks movie." She rolled her eyes and hit his leg hard walking into the kitchen. Logan glared at him and then me, and walked in behind her, holding a clear plastic case full of cookies. "Sure…I'll pick you up tonight. I'll call when I' on the way. Okay sweetie…see ya tonight." He hung up and tossed the phone on the coffee table.

"Smooth dude." Carlos gave him a high five and they both smiled. I sat back and smiled watching Logan walked out of the kitchen.

"So…you really feel better? Enough to take a pretty girl out?" Matt looked up at Logan and nodded. "Good, then you get to help us rake up the leaves and bag them today. And then you can help your dad paint the garage." Matt's mouth fell open and I grinned at Logan.

"You're evil." He grinned back at em and walked back into the kitchen. Matt turned to me and I raised a hand. "I'll bump the price up to the 80." His mouth closed slowly and he pushed his hood off his head. He nodded and sat back crossing his arms over his chest.

**SO HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE SAYING…CALM BEFORE THE STORM? THIS WAS THAT CHAPTER. BRACE YOURSELVES. IT'S ABOUT TO GET REALLY UGLY.**


	17. Chapter 17: Set Rain to This Fire

_Set Rain to This Fire_

**QUICK SHOUT-OUTS…A FEW IF YOU, COMMENT EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER, GIVE ME IDEAS AND ALL AROUDN SUPPORT AND I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU REALIZED YOU GUYS ARE THE REASON I KEEP WRITING SO THANK YOU! SO…winterschild11, suppressedanonymous, BelieversNeverDie18, lilygirl42001, DeniseDEMD…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!**

"Thanks for taking me out to dinner baby." He grinned at me and checked his side mirror. I think I saw two of his heads, but that might have been the wine talking. Or thinking…whatever. "Was this a congratulations date?" He stopped the car and turned on the wipers, the rain staring softly. He glanced over at me and I reached up, running my fingers through his hair. He chuckled and turned back to the light.

"You're drunk."

"No tipsy. You might actually have a chance of getting laid tonight." He laughed and nodded slowly.

"I am sure I will babe. Now what do you mean congratulations date?" I laughed and looked out my window watching all the rain hit the glass.

"Because of the baby. Were going to be parents."

"We are parents Logan. And yes it was a date to celebrate, and I figured the kids are on a date we should be on a date." I nodded and he chuckled. "Why isn't your seatbelt on?"

"Do you think Michelle is still going to be wanting to help us again?"

"She doesn't fit the requirements anymore." I turned to him and felt nausea.

"What do you mean?" He reached over and grabbed my knee, and squeezed.

"Baby you're drunk. I'll explain in the morning." I nodded and slowly closed my eyes. "Also…I know I will have to repeat this…but I want it to be your sperm again." Even with the wine working its magic I knew exactly what he said. I smiled and opened my eyes. I realized I still had my hand running through his hair. He was still concentrating on the road and without even thinking about it, I moved my hand down from his head and rubbed over his crotch. He sighed and quickly grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together. "I am not going to take advantage of you, drunk."

"I want to do it."

"Shush…" He squeezed my hand and I frowned looking back out my window. The rain was coming down harder now and all I wanted was to lie down. My head was spinning and my stomach was turning.

"I'm sorry if I throw up."

"You had two glasses of wine. How can you be this tossed?" I shrugged my shoulders and I put my head back and sighed.

"It was really expensive wine. It made me feel fuzzy." He chuckled and I recognized our street, he was turning on. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Fuck my head hurts."

"Don't worry. You can go right to sleep when we get home. First take some aspirin but you can go to sleep." I nodded and as he pulled into our driveway I noticed the rain coming down harder now. "What the fuck?" He turned the car off fast and I turned to see him staring back at the street. I turned to and saw the all too familiar beat up old car. Just thinking Emma was home sobered me up quite a bit. He was already out of the car walking up to the house when I realized he had left. I got out quick and ran up behind him. He pushed the door open fast and I peered behind his shoulder. I almost passed out seeing what I was seeing.

Emma was on her back, Chris over top of her. The straps of her dressed were pushed down off her shoulders and was pushed up quite a bit on her legs. Chris jumped up fast and zipped his jeans back up. I saw Kendall become very tense and quickly got in front of him. Emma stood up pulling her dress down on her legs and I saw fear flash over her face.

"Daddy…papa." I turned to Chris and saw him staring at Kendall behind me. "Where were you guys?"

"Dinner." Kendall was stern and quiet behind me and I sighed.

"Emma, upstairs, now." She stepped towards me and I saw a huge hickey on her neck. I cringed and breathed out hard. "Now Emma."

"Papa please don't be mad." I pointed to the stairs and she bit her bottom lip, turning back to Chris. "I'm sorry Chris." I cleared my throat and se quickly walked to the stairs, and ran up. Whine I heard her door close I put my hand son my hips and saw Chris swallow hard.

"I…we trusted you Chris."

"Our movie ended, and we came back here and you guys weren't here so…"

"You decided to make you're move?" I turned back to Kendall and moved out of his way. There was no way I was going to stop him from almost Killing this kid because I felt like killing him too. "She is 16 years old. What would have happened if she got pregnant?"

"We weren't going to have sex?" Kendall stepped forward and Chris stepped back. "I would never make her do anything she didn't want to."

"You have 5 seconds to get your ass out of my house or I will make you. " Chris's face completely drained and Kendall clenched his fists. "5…" Chris grabbed his jacket and ran towards the door. Before he could walk out Kendall grabbed his arm and got right by his face. "Do not come near my daughter again." He let Chris go and Chris ran out. Kendall slammed the door behind him and went right to the stairs. I followed and sighed knowing what was coming to Emma. We got right at her door and he flung it open. She jumped off her bed and bit her bottom lip again. "I let you go out with him. I trusted you, and this is what you do?"

"Daddy nothing was going to happen."

"Is that what he was thinking?" She looked down and sat back down on her bed. "What the hell were you thinking Emma?! We don't raise you to be this stupid!" She looked up and the first tear fell. "Do I have to make it so you don't date tell you're 18? Because I can!" She jumped up and waked over to us.

"Daddy you cant do that!" Kendall got closer to her and looked down at her.

"And you're not going on another date in a very long time!" She quivered her bottom lip and I stepped forward pulling his arm back. "Unbelievable Emma! What the fuck were you thinking?!" I pushed him back hard and got in front of her.

"You ruined our trust Emma."

"Papa…all we did was kiss. I wasn't going to let anything happen."

"That may be true but we gave yo clock curfew, which means he drops you off, makes sure you get in the house okay, and then he drives away. We were supposed to come home to find our daughter reading, or studying. You completely disregarded our rules and you're grounded."

"That's not fair papa!"

"I don't care Emma! That is the end of the discussion!" She turned and ran to her bed throwing herself on it. I turned and shook my head. Kendall was glaring at her, and I pushed him out, forcing him out of the room. I shut the door behind me and sighed leaning against it.

"She is never leaving this house again!" he whispered yelled in my face and I heard the front door open down stairs. I sighed and pushed past him going to the stairs. I was completely sober now and I watched Matthew, walk in shivering. I got to the bottom and he grinned at me.

"Hey pop! Hey dad…what's wrong?" I shook my head and Kendall pushed past me, bumping into me and walked into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"We walked in on Emma with Chris. She's grounded so don't let her fool you." He nodded but his mouth remained open. "How was your date?"

"Well I spilled coke all over her and when I tried to dry her off she thought I was making a move and slapped the hell out of my face." He rubbed his face and shrugged his shoulders. "So I called Jimmy and Steven and we watched the new A-Team movie." I nodded and he took off his jacket, walking to the couch. I was about to walk in further to go to the kitchen to calm down Kendall when I heard glass breaking and Kendall yelling. Before I had time to walk he was running out phone in hand.

"Get the kids out of the house right now!" I opened my mouth to ask why but I stopped seeing a bright orange flame come through the kitchen door. I quickly grabbed a hold of Matthew and dragged him to the front door. "Emma get down here right now!"

"No! I hate you guys!" Kendall put the phone ot his ear and opened the front closet. He grabbed the fire extinguisher and I gripped Matthews arm tight.

"Now Emma! Get outside Logan!" He went back to the kitchen and I was pushed out of the house.

"What was that?" I shook my head and put Matthews body behind my own. I saw the flames but didn't know how big the fire was or why the fire even started and Kendall just went back in there to put it out. I dint realize I was still holding Matthew's arm until he pulled away and started walking to the house.

"Matthew stay out here…" I grabbed him and pulled him back again. You're dad will take care of it." He nodded but looked at the house still.

I heard a small…almost explosion sound and griped Matthews arm tighter. "Dad?!" I could hear the worry in Matthews voice but didn't have to do anything. He came out of the house coughing, his face a little black. I ran towards him, Matthew close behind. Kendall crashed into me and coughed hard.

"Someone threw a molotov cocktail in the kitchen window." I scrunched my eyebrows and he nodded. "I saw them run to the right but couldn't see any features. The flames got to the stove and I called it in. The whole kitchen is in flames." I swallowed hard and he looked around. "Where is Emma?" My blood turned to ice and as he turned around, there was another small explosion, this time closer to us. Kendall's reflexes acted quick and he pulled Matthew and I into him shielding us with his body. He bent over and I heard the glass break in the front windows. Some of it fell around us and I clung to Matthew, making sure he didn't get hurt. Despite the complete fear of losing the house and hoping nothing happened to Kendall and Matthew I heard a scream.

"Daddy!" Kendall and I both looked up and I was quicker than him. I ran to the front door hearing Kendall yelling for me to stop. But I ran in the house and stopped abruptly. The whole living room was in flames but I only cared about Emma at the top of the stairs looking terrified. I quickly ran up the stairs and scooped her up. She pushed her face into my neck and I started walking down the stairs. But the flames were faster than me. Hey were at the bottom of the stairs, getting closer and closer. I could probably have jumped them but I would risk dropping Emma or both of us falling.

"Kendall!" I gripped onto Emma and saw Kendall appear in the door way. I walked down the stairs carefully and he extended his long arms over the flames. I kissed the top of Emma's head and slowly pushed her out to him. When his arms were around her she looked up and quickly wrapped around his neck, pulling into him. He got back quick but stared at me.

"Jump babe." I nodded and he backed out of the house. I took in a shaky breath and leaped like my life depended on it, because It literally did. I was only occupied with the flames I wasn't watching where I was landing. My foot slipped on the small step on the bottom of the door frame, and my whole body flung forward crashing down onto the porch. Luckily I caught my fall and didn't hit my head, but my leg was on fire. I pulled myself down the steps of the porch and crawled on the grass. I turned and laid flat on my back squeezing my eyes shut. I heard the sirens coming close and felt someone get next to me. I opened my eyes to see Matthew kneeling next to me. He was looking at the house , suddenness and fear very evident. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. "Are you alright Logan?" I looked up and saw Kendall place Emma on the ground. She was still clinging to his body and bent down with him. I nodded and squeezed Matt's hand.

"I'm fine. Are you okay Ems?" She nodded and pushed into Kendall's body. She looked up at the house too and the sirens were very close now. "Who would do this?" Kendall looked down and swallowed hard. He glanced up at the house and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know…I just don't…know." I slowly sat myself up, still holding Matthew's hand, and even though it was raining, it wasn't doing anything to stop the flames and we all four sat there watching the elements work against us, and take away 10 years of our lives.


	18. Chapter 18: Angel's In My Darkest Hour

_Angels in my Darkest Hour_

My head was throbbing and swarming. Being on the phone with the insurance company for the past two hours has been frustrating and ridiculous. Apparently when someone purposely sets your house on fire, they have to wait until the report from the fire department and police department. And since we have no idea who it was the cops can't do anything, and the fire chief said it was in fact a molotov cocktail, which didn't make me feel any better. It was like the person who did it was waiting for me to be in the kitchen when I was. Someone wanted to either just hurt me, or my entire family, and that did not sit well with me. I slowly walked down the hall way at the police department and found Logan sitting in a chair with Matthew on one side, and Emma curled up into a ball on the other side. I walked right in front of him, and saw Emma fast asleep. I sighed and motioned for him to follow me. He quickly stood taking off his coat, and putting it over Emma. Matthew moved quick to take his spot and let Emma lay on his shoulder. We walked a few feet away and I leaned against an empty desk. I sighed and he got right in front of me, between my legs. He put a hand on my cheek and thumbed under my eye.

"I really hate our insurance company." He sighed and looked down. "They can't do anything yet because we don't know who it was and until they hear from the fire chief they can't do anything. They can't give us money, get us in a new house…nothing." I glanced over at the kids around his body and cringed thinking we were technically homeless.

"Please think of the positive Kendall." I glanced up at him and he smiled. "Were all alive and unhurt." I looked down and closed my eyes. "And it's not like we're going to be living out on the streets. I already called James and Carlos, and they both agreed to put there differences aside and help us out." I nodded but remained looking down, eyes closed. I could feel him move in closer and there was a soft kiss to my head. I reached out and gently grabbed his hips. His arms went around my shoulder and he laid his head on mine. "I love you."

"I love you too." I gripped his hips and he sighed.

"We need to get some more of Matt's insulin." I nodded against him and he slowly started tracing up and down my back. "We don't have to be here anymore do we?" I slowly pulled away and shook my head. He nodded and looked back at the kids. "Let's go get some ice cream or something. Try to get our minds off this for a while." I stood and let me lead me back to the kids. Matthew glanced up at us and swallowed hard. I smiled down at him and reached down gently rubbing Emma's shoulder. She fluttered her eyes open and sat up. Logan's jacket fell off her and she quickly pulled it on over her arms. It was too big for her but she didn't care. "Let's go get something to drink across the street." Matthew nodded and slowly stood. I saw Emma glance down and noticed for the first time she didn't have shoes on. I cringed again, hating that I let this happen and quickly bent down scooping her up.

"Let's get her some shoes." Loan sighed and nodded. Emma wrapped around my neck and laid her head down on my shoulder. We started walking out, random cops staring at us, pity washed over there face's. I ignored all of them and walked out behind Logan who was holding the door open for me.

"There's a little store down there. I think if we asked nicely, they'd let us just grab a pair." I saw the light on down at the clothes store. I nodded and turned to face Logan.

"You and Matt go ahead and get something to drink. I'll take her." Logan nodded and quickly wrapped an arm around Matt's neck. He pushed him down the opposite side of the sidewalk and I turned and started walking down the sidewalk. Emma held herself tight around me and looked around. "How you feeling?" She remained looking around and I could see the mascara she was wearing smeared down her face under her eyes.

"I'm a little scared."

"Why baby girl?" She looked over at me, and even though she was no more than 110 lbs. I was starting to get a pain in my back. Probably from the stress more so than actually carrying her.

"Because…we just lost our house. I lost everything. You and papa lost everything and so did Matthew. How do we come back from this?" I sighed and stopped in front of the store. The closed sign was flipped open but there was still a light on. I carefully reached over still holding Emma and knocked on the glass door.

"We come back as a family, and are grateful every day that none of us got hurt." I glanced at her and she nodded. "And were going to be alright. I promise. "She nodded again and I turned to see an elderly women walking towards us. Concern washed over her face and she ran to the door. She unlocked it and pushed it open fast.

"Are you two alright?" For the first time I saw my reflection in the glass and chuckled. I looked like a mess, and I was holding my 16 year old daughter who was barefoot.

"Well we've had better nights. We had a fire, and lost everything…my daughter…needs some shoes if you wouldn't mind. No one is open at this time…" She put up a hand and gave a warm smile.

"No problem at all. Please come in and get whatever you need." I stepped in, letting her shut the door behind us and carefully set Emma down. She still had Logan's coat on but other than that, she had the same dress from her date on, and I remembered walking in seeing Chris over top of her.

"Why don't you grab some clothes too." She nodded and the lady walked in front of us.

"I'll show you the dressing room sweetheart." Emma smiled at her, and they both walked away towards the back of the cute little store. I sighed and turned to the left walking towards a few rows of shelves. I saw an isle full of bathroom stuff. I walked down it and cheered on the inside seeing bottles of Advil, and Tylenol. I quickly grabbed a bottle of each and walked down the rest. My face was still pretty dirty form the fire and I grabbed a package of wet towels. I walked to the counter and saw a small fridge with coke bottles inside. I set the Advil on the checkout stand and the towels and grabbed a coke. I quickly opened the Advil and put three in my mouth. I opened the coke and swallowed it all. I closed my eyes and drank some more, grateful for the refreshing liquid. When I set the bottle down I could see the back of the store where Emma was grabbing a pair of jeans. She turned and smiled at the lady who had a few shirts in her hands. I smiled and watched them walk to a closed door. Emma walked in and closed it. The lady smiled all the way back, walking to me and I smiled back at her.

"I really appreciate you doing this." She nodded and quickly pulled out a pad of paper and a pen.

"I want to give you my phone number and my husbands. If you need anything…and I mean anything, please do not hesitate to call." I took out a wipe and slowly started wiping my face. She folded the paper and smiled at me.

"Why would you do all this for people you just met?" She laughed and leaned against the checkout counter.

"I think I know a pop star when I see one." I blushed and looked down still wiping my face. "And I would never turn someone away in need." I nodded and heard a door creak open. I turned and smiled seeing Emma walk out in a pair of light blue jeans, a long black sleeved shirt, and a simple pair of white sneakers. As she got closer to us, I saw her dress, Logan's coat and another pair of jeans in her arms. She got right next to me, close, and set everything on the counter. I noticed the register was off and I quickly pulled out my wallet.

"How much?" The lady smiled behind the counter and quickly grabbed a bag. She folded the jeans and set them in, along with the Advil bottle.

"Would you like this jacket in here?" Emma shook her head and quickly pulled the jacket back on her body. I glanced at the lady still and she laughed shaking her head. "This is on the house. Given your circumstance, I am not going to make you pay. Are you nuts?" I sighed and opened my wallet anyway, putting down a hundred dollar bill and two twenties.

"That should cover it." She glared at the money and I grabbed the bag form her. "Thank you. You are an angel in disguise. Come on Ems." Emma waved at the little old lady who smiled big at her and waved back. I quickly grabbed the paper folded and slipped it in my wallet, then put it in my back pocket. I walked Emma out, letting her wrap her arms around my body. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lazily held the bag in my other hand. We walked slowly down the street and past the police station. It was slightly raining still and I could see my breath. I saw the little 24 hour café with a few cars out in front and then saw Logan and Matthew sitting at a table across from each other through the glass window. I checked both ways before crossing the street, holding Emma tight.

As soon as I pulled the door open I was overwhelmed with something sweet and warm. It smelled like a batch of fresh cookies and it made me smile. I walked Emma over to the corner table where Logan and Matthew were sitting and let her go. She got on the side of Logan and quickly pushed her body into his. He was watching me carefully as I sat down and put the bag under the table. Matthew scooted over a little and started playing with a sugar package.

"James is on the way. He Is probably here right now actually." I nodded and sat back yawning. "I'm glad they let you guys in." I nodded and saw Emma yawn and close her eyes slowly. Logan held her and yawned as well. I felt Matthew lay his head on my shoulder and for some reason it made me close my eyes. I laid my head on his and sooner than I would have liked I heard the bell ding overhead at the front door and turned quick. Walking in came James, pushing his hood off his head. He scanned the café until he saw us. I could see him sigh out as he walked over slowly. He stopped at the end of the table and pulled up a chair sitting down. I saw Logan smile small at him and He gave a smile back.

"Carlos called me…" His voice was soft and quiet and very comforting. "He said he drove down your street and saw your house…the cops put up tape but he went in. He found some stuff." I saw Logan perk up hearing this and I felt a little better. "He found some pictures, and your guys safe." I let out a sigh of relief and nodded. "He's bringing them to my house with the help of Jess." I again nodded and put my head back down on Matthews. James sat back and glanced around the table. "Whatever you guys need, I'm here for you." I smiled and Logan wrapped tighter around Emma.

"I think we all just…want to go to sleep." Logan's voice was also quite and James nodded standing up. I locked eyes with Logan who lazily smiled and slowly pushed himself up with Emma, how opened her eyes and slowly stood up. I watched her wrap the jacket around her body as she waited for Logan to stand. I decided to stand as well but it seemed like my body couldn't move anymore and I had to sit back down again. I rubbed my head and closed my eyes. I heard a groan leave my throat. "Uhm James…can you just take the kids out for a minute?" I felt the tears leave my eyes and heard Matthew jump around my body to get out form the seat.

"Yeah…we'll be in my car." I heard footsteps and then the little bell overhead. I could feel Loan sitting on the seat next to me and he pushed me over a little. His arms wrapped around my torso and I let out a small sob. I held my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the table and let more tears out.

"Talk to me." He whispered in my ear and kissed it. I shook my head softly and sobbed out again. "Babe…everything is going to be okay." I sobbed out again and felt like giving up. There has been so much that has happened to us in our loves together and finally I was sick of it. This wasn't fair. We didn't deserve this. I didn't want to deal with this anymore, and I can't be strop for my entire family anymore. If only I could tell Logan that. "Kendall…I love you and I'm going to take care of us." I sobbed out again and he wrapped tighter around me. He pressed his lips hard into the side of my head and rubbed over my back. "I'm going to take care of this." I opened my eyes letting more tears pour out my vision was blurry and my fatigue was pretty bad. "I will take care of this." I raised my head slowly but looked straight ahead avoiding eye contact with Logan. His lips moved to my cheek and kissed around, making the tears go away. He finally stopped at the corner of my mouth and sighed softly. "I love you. And I will take care of you." I turned slowly and we locked eyes. One of his hands raised and he ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and gently pushed into him. For once, ever, I was crying on his shoulder, and eh was comforting me.


	19. Chapter 19: Superhero Road Trip

_Superhero Road Trip_

Even though I was exhausted I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. There were too many thoughts running through my mind, and the sun was coming up, shinning bright in the spare room James set up for Kendall and I. As soon as Kendall got in the bed, he fell right asleep. I took off his shoes and managed to take his button up shirt off, but left him in his black pants and socks. And since then I've just been sitting up, leaning against the headboard watching him sleep. I had never, ever seen Kendall that upset. Except down in Tim's basement, and during that time I promised myself I would never make him go through anything like that again. But here we are. I had to watch him, cry his eyes out, break down completely in front of me, and I had to be the one to pick up the pieces. For once he was turning to me for support and comfort. For once, I was being depended on and it felt great. To know that he trusted me, that he loved me enough to come to me. It made me feel great.

The rain never seemed to stop since we drove him after dinner, and it had picked up again. It was thundering and coming down really hard, but he remained sleeping. He looked peaceful but I could still see the pain and anger on his perfect face. I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my head on one. I sighed out and just listened to him softly breathing. Just like that I was slowly drifting into a dark, deep sleep. I jolted awake feeling the bed move and opened my eyes seeing him rolling onto his stomach. He let out a cute little sigh and remained sleeping. I glanced at his bare back, his tattoo and smiled to myself. This man was perfect in every possible way and he was all mine. For the rest of our lives. In my thoughts I heard a distant buzz and sat up a little. I put my legs down and heard it again. It was a phone. I jumped out of bed and walked to my pants on the back of a chair in front of a desk. I pulled my phone out but it wasn't mine that was vibrating. I grabbed Kendall's pants off the top of the desk and sure enough pulled out a vibrating phone. It was a random number but it must be important if they were calling this early. I clicked answer and walked to the door.

"Hello?" I walked out of the room and quickly walked down the stairs. Everyone in the house was sound asleep and I didn't want to wake anyone.

"Kendall Knight?"

"No…this is his husband, Logan. Who is this?" I walked into James's kitchen and to the table. I sat down and shivered at the cold tile touching my feet.

"This is officer Martinez. I'm following your case, and I told him I would call him if we found anything out." My heart picked up speed and I got a little anxious.

"Oh…is there…is it bad news?" He chuckled on the other end and I heard papers rustle.

"No. It's just news, I actually don't know how well you guys are going to take this." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes leaning back in the chair. "One of your neighbors, on the right, heard the glass break. She looked out and saw a man leaping over the fence and ran through her backyard. She got a great look at his face and came in to give a description. When we had him drawn out…I did a little research to find who this guy is and…" I nervously twirled the wedding ring around on my left finger and sighed out quietly. "I had an older detective help me out, and he showed me an old case file of yours actually. One about a man named Tim?" My heart skipped a beat and I sat up quick. "It was him."

"He set my house of fire?"

"Yes. We called the mental hospital he has been at and it seems he was let go. A week ago. The doctors deemed him ready for society and let him go." I opened my eyes and shook my head. "We have every car out looking for him right now and we will find him Logan." I nodded, to myself and felt not fear, but anger. "We also have a couple guys going up to the hospital. I guess the doctors found some pretty disturbing stuff that might help us find him." Hearing that made my brain start working and I jumped up fast.

"Thank you so much Officer. I'll be sure to inform my husband." I hung up fast not giving him a chance to say goodbye. I walked back through the kitchen through the living room and made my way upstairs. As I entered the room again I was glad Kendall was still fast asleep, now in a little ball the blanket pulled tight under his chin. I walked over to the desk and grabbed my pants slipping them on. I then grabbed his undershirt and puled lit over my body letting his scent cover and protect me. I grabbed the sweater James loaned me and pulled that on grabbing my wallet and phone. I slipped on my shoes and turned to face Kendall. He was still sound asleep and I walked slowly over to him. I put my hands outside his head, and leaned down kissing his temple softly. He stirred only a little and moaned softly and quietly. I smiled and straightened out, turning to the door.

I made my way back downstairs and just as I walked to the front door reaching out for James's car keys I heard movement behind me.

"Going somewhere?" I turned and sucked in a harsh breath seeing James walking towards me. He was fully dressed a glass of water in hand.

"Can I borrow your car?" He chuckled and downed the whole glass.

"Depends where are you going?" I sighed and looked down.

"Just…out…" He laughed and stated walking towards me. I looked up and watched him grab the keys. He tossed them at my chest and I caught them, smiling.

"Cool. I'm coming with." He opened the front door and stepped out. I groaned but followed him out anyway. "This wouldn't have anything to do with phone call you got form that cop would it?" We walked to the doors of his car and I chuckled.

"You don't know how to mind your damn business do you?" He shook his head an di unlocked the doors. We both got in, and I started it fast. "They know who set the house on fire." He buckled his seatbelt and glanced at me, as I buckled myself in, put it in reverse. "It was Tim. He was let out. The doctors found some things in his room through and had a few cops go out to check it out. I want to go see it." I saw him mouth fall open but I pulled out of the driveway anyway and started driving down the street.

"Why would you want to see it?"

"You wont understand."

"Try me. Besides we got a couple hour drive to get to Sacramento." I glanced over at him and he wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed and turned back to the road.

"Fine…look. Kendall is really torn up about this. I mean…I'm afraid this is making him lose his mind. And I've been there. S I figure if I could just get some closure for me and him. Maybe everything can get back to normal."

"So going through his shit at the loony bin will give you that closure?"

"I told you, you wouldn't understand." He chuckled and sat back a little getting comfortable. "James since the beginning of time Kendall has been fixing me and saving me. Now it is my time to fix and save him, and I will literally do anything to do that. If you don't want to come with me…you don't have to." I stopped at a red light and turned to him.

"Well…let's think about this. Road trip with my best friend to go to the crazy house, or sit at home and hear Kendal bitch about how I didn't stop you." I laughed and nodded. "I'm there for you Logan." I again nodded and the light turned green. I stepped on the gas and quickly got on the highway. "SO tell me something…is Carlos getting serious with that guy he went out with." I shook my head and saw him glance out the window. "Is he seeing him still?" I shook my head again and he sighed. "Because of me?"

"Because he's in love with you, and no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that he's done trying to win back your love, which he has been doing, he will always only love you." He rolled down his window a bit and I turned on the wipers. "You know for the past 10 years the ball has been in your court. He's been waiting for you to take him back and forgive him. And you've just been stringing him along for whatever reason. I'm not telling you what to do James but if you don't want to see him with another guy, then take him back. And stop using Jessie as an excuse to start fights with him. I know damn well you are going to force her to go to college." He put his head back and chuckled.

"How do you fucking know everything?" I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

"Just in my nature James." He laughed again and I laughed with him. The whole drive we talked and reminisced. It made the time go by fast and before I knew it, we were there. When I was told Tim was in a hospital they said he was in Northern California and he was, But he was causing too much trouble and was moved down to a smaller more excluded one in Sacramento. It was pretty small and gated up. I had to show ID just to get in and when they guy found out who I was he let us in, but quickly went on his radio. I parked relatively close to the front and James and I got out. We walked up the steps quick and he pulled the door open for me. When I stepped inside a cute little redhead stood up from behind the counter and smiled. She was wearing plain white scrubs and had no jewelry or anything on at all.

"Hi! Can I help you gentlemen?" I smiled and walked to the counter.

"Yes. My name is Logan Knight and this is going to sound really weird but I was wondering if I could see the room of Tim…"

"Logan." I stopped and turned. A guy in a suit with two uniformed officers behind him was walking towards me. I recognized the guy as the same one who took care of my case the first time. I smiled at him and walked to him meeting half way. We shook hands and I he sighed. "If I had known you were coming I would have made sure Kendall was with you." I smiled but it fell quickly.

"I want to see his room." He sighed out and glanced around. He turned to one of the cops.

"Stay out here and wait for the call." He turned back to me and nodded. "Let's go." He turned quick and one of the guys stayed while the other walked to the door. I followed quick hearing James right behind me. We walked down a few hallways each with doors lined up on each side. Some of them were closed, with people standing right by the door, looking out at us, while others were wide open and empty. The last hall we walked down had fewer doors. We finally stopped close to the end, and the detective turned to me. "Logan…please be aware…this isn't a good sight." I swallowed hard but nodded. I felt James's hand on my shoulder and nodded again breathing out hard. He moved out of the way and I slowly walked to the open door.


	20. Chapter 20: Will Do

_Will Do_

"Daddy?" I forced my eyes open fast and felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Emma looking down at me. She tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled. "Where's papa?" Fear raced through my body and I turned back expecting to see Logan fast asleep but he wasn't. I shot up quick and looked back at her.

"He's not downstairs?" She shook her head.

"Neither is Uncle James." That seemed to calm me down and I got off the bed. "And Carlos is here. He wants to talk to you." I nodded and she turned walking back out of the room. I followed not even caring that I had no shirt on. As we made our way downstairs I could hear laughter from Matthew and I smiled. When we finally got downstairs Matthew was sitting on the couch. He had the same clothes on from last night and I felt my heart breaking all over again. Carlos was sitting next to him talking. When I got closer they both looked up and Carlos stood grinning at me.

"Hey dude!" I smiled and he walked towards me. "I have something really important to talk to you about!" I chuckled and nodded.

"Give me a minute. I'm going to call Logan. How'd you sleep Matt?"

"Like a baby." I nodded and quickly grabbed James's home phone. I quickly dialed Logan's cell and put it to my ear. As I walked into the kitchen, Jessie walked out, giving a warm, but tired smile. I smiled back and quickly walked to the counter with a fresh made pot of coffee. I took down a cup, letting the phone ring on the other side, and poured some in. Finally it clicked and his voice made me smile.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Where are you? Is James with you?" I walked to the fridge and grabbed the milk.

"Uhm yeah…listen can I call you back?" I froze halfway to the cup of coffee and heard whispering in the background. A lot of things started running through my mind and they weren't good thoughts.

"Why? Where are you?"

"I'm just taking care of something with James."

"Okay…what?" He sighed and I slammed the carton of milk on the counter. "And why couldn't you take care of it with me?"

"Kendall I really need to call you back…"

"No Logan. Tell me what's going on." He went quiet and I heard walking. He walked for what seemed like days and finally I heard a door open and then close. "Where are you?" I know I probably sounded like a pathetic lost puppy, but what he did for me last night, was pretty awesome and if I didn't have him near me, I would most likely break down again.

"I am taking care of something with James and when we get back I will explain."

"Explain to me right now."

"Kendal we are not having a fight. Just please trust me okay?"

"Trust? You want me to trust you? You left me this morning at God knows when, with James, didn't tell me you were leaving and now won't tell me what you're doing with James!"

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"Should I be?" We both went quiet and I leaned against the counter. "What is so God damn important you have to deal with it right now?!"

"Stop yelling at me. You're being an asshole. Just calm down and wait until I get home."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child Logan."

"Then stop acting like one." And just like that, he hung up and I was left standing in the kitchen, the phone still pressed to my ear. I heard movement behind me and turned seeing Carlos behind me. I sighed and threw the phone on the counter, not caring if it broke.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah…what did you want to talk to me about?" I poured the milk in the cup and slowly stirred it.

"Well…this." He hot next to me and I glanced in his hand he had a silver ring in his palm. I started to look away but the ring looked really familiar. I looked up at his face and he was beaming. "I'm going to put my heart on my sleeve again, pour my soul out, and ask him to take me back. One last time. And if he says no I'm done. If he says yes were getting remarried and starting over." My mouth turned up into a huge smile and I quickly held around him, pulling him in for a big hug. He hugged back and chuckled in my ear.

"He's going to say yes!" He laughed louder in my ear and squeezed around me.

"Thanks for being there for me, all these years." I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Of course." We hugged for a few more seconds before he pulled away and continued to smile.

"So I was talking to Matt and he was saying how he wanted to get some new clothes. I can drive you guys." My stomach twisted and I picked up my coffee. I took a small sip and gently set it back down.

"Actually…unless they want me to I was wandering if you wouldn't mind taking them for me. I just…I'm not in a good place right now, in my mind and I don't want to take it out on them." He nodded and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course. Don't even worry about it." I smiled and we both walked out, me holding my coffee. The girls were on one couch while Matthew sat on the other flipping through the channels.

"Hey guys…you want to go shopping with Carlos?" Matthew looked up at me and Emma jumped up.

"Yes!" I laughed and quickly reached in my back pocket pulling out my wallet. Emma's eyes grew and Matthew stood up, both walking towards me.

"I'm going to wait here for your dad, but I'll give you my credit card and all the cash I have. Just get…whatever. I don't care how much you spend." Emma's eyes grew wider and I handed her the card and the money. I turned to Carlos and smiled. "Can you just grab me like another pair of jeans and a plain shirt? I'll go shopping later." He nodded and Emma squealed running to the couch and slipping on her shoes. I smiled at Matthew who had a happy look on his face and it made me happy. I sipped my coffee while I walked to the stairs and slowly walked up. They al started talking and I heard the front door open and then close.

I spent a good 20 minutes just sitting in the shower, letting the scolding hot water crash all over me. I was crying not that you could really tell. I was sobbing and it was getting louder and more violent with each passing minute. So many emotions were running through my body and my mind all I could think about was letting the water force me down and drown me. When I finally got out of the shower I couldn't stop crying. As I dressed in the sweats James loaned me and the sweater, I calmed myself down. But it didn't seem like it was enough. I just needed Logan here again so I could cry on his shoulder and let him lull me to sleep. And when I thought about needed him for that, I got more upset because I've never been this dependent and that scared the living hell out of me. But I mange dot clam down and finally became aware that I was hearing something downstairs. I grabbed my coffee cup and quickly walked out, hoping it was James and Logan. But as I climbed down those stairs, nothing could have prepared me for what was actually making the noise downstairs.

Sitting in the middle of the black leather couch was Tim. He had one leg up on his knee with his hands folded on his lap. I froze but let my cup slip out of my hand. The coffee and the glass shattered everywhere and I even felt a small cut on my bare foot. I literally couldn't move and it got worse when he stood up. He was just as buff and good looking as before but what caught my eye was the long scar on his neck from when he cut it open. He grinned and then chuckled.

"You look like you've seen a ghost Kendall." I tried to swallow but my throat and mouth was dry. "I mean I don't blame you. I shouldn't be here/ I can't be allowed near you or…Logan." He moaned softly after saying Logan's name, and normally I would have kicked into defense mode, but nothing in my brain or body was working right. "You know I'm pretty surprised to see you here too. I could have sworn I killed you last night. Or at least tried to kill you. But you and Logan and Emma and Matthew got out all okay. It was pretty risky with Logan and the kids in there with you, but I had to take a chance. Unfortunately here we are." I again tried swallowing and was successful this time. I clenched my fists tight and watched him step towards me. "So you know what's going to happen here Kendall. I'll kill you, and go get what's mine. Are there any questions or last words?" I closed my eyes and felt a tear push out. "AM I seeing this right? Is The Kendall Knight crying? Is he…is he scared?" His voice was closer to me and I tensed up, just on impulse. "Awe the poor little baby. At least you're expecting the fact that I get what I want." I opened my eyes and cringed seeing him right in front of me. I saw him reach down and pull something out of his pocket. When he pressed a little button I saw the light reflect on the blade. I looked up and we locked eyes. "Is there any last words you want me to tell Logan?" I swallowed again and felt sick.

"I-I love him." He chuckled and got closer to me. His free hand reached up and grabbed my shoulder. He moved it to the back of my neck and squeezed hard.

"Will do."


	21. Chapter 21: ANy Means Necessary

_Any Means Necessary_

I guess I was expecting to see the same set up as I did in the basement 10 years ago, but it was just a plain white room. The bed was made, with one small pillow, and a pretty thick blanket. There was one table by the bed, with a lamp on it. I could see the table bolted to the floor and the wall. All that looked normal and fine. What caught my eye was the box, a shoe box, opened on the bed. The detective sighed and turned to me after walking in a few more feet. I could still feel James behind me and was grateful he was here.

"Normally I wouldn't let anyone see evidence like this but…you're a special case, and I'll just ask if you want to touch anything you wear gloves." He pulled out a pair and without thinking I grabbed them. I slipped them on my fingers quick and took a step forward. "Would you like a pair?" I stopped and James shook his head. He was still behind me and gave a reassuring smile. I nodded and turned back. I walked very slowly to the bed. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was afraid, Tim himself was going to pop out and hurt me again. But logic stepped in and said that was stupid. So I walked all the way to the side of the bed, and looked up quick. I wasn't ready to see inside that shoe box and I just looked out the window that had bars on it. I sighed out and watched the detective walk to the other side of the bed and block my view of the window. "Logan you don't have to do this." I closed my eyes and remembered seeing and hearing Kendall crying and screaming at Tim to stop doing what he did to me. I opened my eyes fast and shook my head.

"I need to." He nodded and glanced down at the box. I sighed and just as I was going to look down I heard my loud and obnoxious ring tone. I jumped slightly and felt James right beside me. I quickly pulled my phone out and turned away from the bed. I saw James's home phone number and sighed. I turned to James and looked hopeful. "Can you please talk to him? I know its Kendall." He put up his hands and shook his head.

"That's your husband Logan. You deal with him." The ringing continued and I glanced down at the number. "And if you don't answer he'll freak out…"

"Hello?" I glared at James pressing the phone to my ear and he smiled.

"Hey! Where are you? Is James with you?"

"Uhm yeah…listen can I call you back?" The detective walked over to James who was still smiling at me.

"Did he not tell Kendall he was coming?" James shook his head grinning like an idiot and I turned away from them to face the blank white wall.

"Why? Where are you?"

"I'm just taking care of something with James."

"Okay…what?" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. He was not going to make this easy but I was not going to tell him what I was about to see because he'd come find me and probably yell. A lot. "And why couldn't you take care of it with me?"

"Kendall I really need to call you back…"

"No Logan. Tell me what's going on." I glanced back over at the detective and James who were both watching me curiously. I quickly walked to the door and walked out. I looked to the left and saw an exit going right out to the parking lot. I walked fast to it and forcefully pushed the door open. It slammed shut behind me. "Where are you?"

"I am taking care of something with James and when we get back I will explain."

"Explain to me right now."

"Kendal we are not having a fight. Just please trust me okay?"

"Trust? You want me to trust you? You left me this morning at God knows when, with James, didn't tell me you were leaving and now won't tell me what you're doing with James!"

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"Should I be?" My stomach twisted in knots and I leaned against the wall. It was pretty chilly out and I hated that he was so stubborn. He wasn't going to drop this unless I made him, and ignored him. "What is so God damn important you have to deal with it right now?!"

"Stop yelling at me. You're being an asshole. Just calm down and wait until I get home."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child Logan."

"Then stop acting like one." I hung up fast and put my head back hitting it on the wall. I closed my eyes and sighed out hard. This is ridiculous. I should have just told him what I was doing, and left. I don't need to see what's in that box. It's not important. The cops were going to find Tim and put him away in prison. Because honestly, looking in this box would probably only make me feel worse and more angry.

But last night kept popping in my head. Tim tried killing us. He literally burned our house to the ground, and it destroyed Kendall. I had to look in this box, so I could justify killing this sick son of a bitch. I turned and pulled the door back open hard. I walked back into the hall slipping my phone back in my front pocket and stepped back into the room. James was standing by the bed looking down. The detective was across form him and they both turned to me. James looked pale. Like he was seconds from throwing up. He looked down at the ground fast and I swallowed hard walking over to the bed. I stepped around James a little and glanced down fast. My heart stopped. My brain shut off. I was seeing all of it, but I wasn't understanding any of it. There was only three things in the box but each one of them made me feel even worse for the phone call I just had with Kendall.

The first thing I stared at was on the left side of the box. It was a little black notebook. It looked really used and old. On the front was a picture. Of me. I felt like taking the book out and ripping it all up, without even seeing what's inside. But I quickly scanned over to the other side of the small box. It was a stupid action figure doll we had made at the height of our fame. It was of Kendall. The face was scratched out and messed up. Parts of the little body were black form being burned. If no one thought this guy wasn't sick before, they had serious proof now. I glanced up not sure how to even go on looking at this stuff, but the thing in the middle that I tried to ignore was drawing me back in. I looked back down and felt my mouth drop open. Right in the center of the box was a picture frame. A small picture frame, and the picture inside mad my legs shake and my head spin. It was of Mr. Jones and his little boy. They were dead. A bullet in the middle of each of their heads. I could feel someone stand next to me and then heard someone walk over to the other side of bed. Seeing all of this made me so mad at myself. I just had a fight with Kendall, and there was a guy out there, ready to kill him. I didn't even tell Kendall I loved him, and what if I never got that chance? I reached in the box, grabbing the notebook and raising it up. I saw the detective on the other side and he sighed.

"We already read through it. It's not good Logan." I extended it over to him and he stared at me.

"Read…read it…please." He glanced over at James who I wouldn't even dare to look at and finally sighed. He took it from my hands and flipped it open. He turned to a specific page and cleared his throat.

"_It isn't easy to put on a smile and act like I'm happy. The doctors have no idea I've been putting the pills under my tongue and then spitting them out when they leave. I don't need a stupid white pill. I need my Logan. That has only ever been my reason for living. Without him, I'm lost, and scared, and sad. I should have probably told him that but I was completely distracted by anger. Specially because of…him. I choose not to say or even write his name, because that's when my temper rises and I get sent back to the small boring padded room. So for now and forever all I will think about is my Logan and hope when I get out of here, he will understand everything I've done has been strictly for Logan. And I can promise when I get out, I will kill…him…and make Logan mine once and for all. At any means necessary." _He stopped and looked up sighing.

"Is that it?" My voice sounded normal but it wasn't anything to how I was actually feeling.

"No…this whole thing is filled, top to bottom, front and back. He's confessed to over 20 murders and talks about a few different ways of killing Kendall…"

"Detective." I turned and James was glaring at him. The guy looked down and shook his head. "Why hasn't he been found? Why are you guys here and not finding this asshole?"

"James…" I put a hand on his arm and he turned to me. "Let's just go home. Please. I need to see Kendall." He nodded and looked back at the detective. I turned us both quick and puled James out with me. As we walked back down the halls, my nerves were fading, and my heart was getting closer to breaking. When we made it outside, my legs turned to Jell-O and I fell against James who easily caught me.

"It's okay…I got you." He wrapped around me and walked me back to his car. He dug through my front pocket and grabbed his keys as he propped me up against the door. When he opened the passenger door, he helped me in and quickly buckled me up. When the door was slammed shut, I jumped and my brain switched back on. I watched James walk quickly to his side and get in.

"I need to call him." I pulled out my phone and he nodded turning the car on. I dialed James's home number and put it to my ear. James pulled out and quickly drove to the front gate. The phone rang a few times and by the time we drove out of the gate, the answering machine came on and I sat back sighing, irritated. I listened to the whole message until the beep. "Kendall…please, answer the phone and let me know that you're okay. I'm sorry about the fight. I love you and I'm…just sorry. I should have woken you up. I went to Sacramento Kendall, to see Tim's room. He's…so fucked up and I need you to make sure you will stay there, and not let the kids go anywhere until the cops find him. He's been…" I was cut off by a click, and then a few beeps. I turned to James and he sighed speeding down the road getting onto eh highway.

"You can't leave a very long message on the machine. Sorry." I frowned but sat back and put my phone in my lap. "He'll be fine. You know Kendall. He won't let those kids out of his sights. Trust me." I nodded and gazed out the window watching the rest of the world go by, while my whole world seemed to stop completely on its axis.


	22. Chapter 22: Logan Freaking Mitchell

_Logan freaking Mitchelll_

My scream was ear shattering. All I could do was clutch on to his shirt on his shoulders as he dug the knife deep and hard into my stomach. I had my eyes squeezed shut, tears pouring out, mouth hanging wide open, letting my screams fill the house and vibrate all around us. I could feel his hot breath by my neck and my ear and finally heard him chuckle. He twisted the blade inside me and I suddenly lost my strength. My legs gave way, but he wasn't letting me fall to the ground. He held me up with his other arm and I stopped screaming. "Kendall…you did this to yourself." I sobbed out a little and felt something weird in the back of my throat. It made me cough and when I coughed I opened my eyes to see blood fly out of my mouth. I loosened my grip on his shoulders and felt my body slumping forward. He still held me up and gave the knife one last twist before he gently pushed me away and let me fall down to my knees. He bent down in front of me, and in the distance I heard, a ringing. James's home phone was ringing and I wanted so desperately to answer it, and beg and plead for help. I watched him grin like a complete psycho. He reached forward and roughly pulled the blade out of my stomach. I screamed out again, letting the long awaited tears fall down my face. I quickly grabbed my stomach and felt the blood gushing out. As he moved out from in front of me, I fell forward and smacked my head on the floor. I closed my eyes and continued to scream and cry out. How has it come to this? Why didn't I stop him? This wasn't like me. "I know you think this is some kind of mistake. That the hero isn't supposed to die. But in my story, you're not the hero. You have to die Kendall because you're the bad guy. You are the reason, you've been the reason why I've been without Logan, and this is how we have to deal with it. There was no other option. So with that, I bid you ado, and hope you make it up to Heaven." As he stopped talking I stopped screaming and heard another voice, familiar and sweet in the kitchen. It was Logan, I could recognize his voice anytime. But hearing him, not even knowing what he was saying made me feel a little happy. "Awe isn't that sweet? He's saying he loves you and he's sorry. Well that just warms my heart. In fact…I think I want to share the warmth with you." I didn't even bother to look up to see what he was doing. At this point it just didn't matter. I heard him move around and above me but I couldn't really see much. My vision was blurry and there was a ginormous pound in the back of my head. I wanted to scream again, but something was holding it back. Maybe this is what dying felt like. And maybe this is exactly how I was going to die. At the hands of the sick deranged dickhead who threatened to hurt my Logan. Yeah that's right…my Logan!

"Mine…" My eyes betrayed me and they closed. I could still hear and even feel.

"What did you just say?"

"Mine…Logan…is mine. My husband. The…love of my…life." He chuckled over top of me and all I could think about was my wedding day.

"Keep telling yourself that Kenny." And that was the last thing I heard.

"_Is he nervous?"_

"_Not s bad as you. Why are you sweating so bad? You've been wanting this since you asked him the first time a few years ago." I sighed and straightened my tie. James appeared behind me fixing his hair. He was smiling, or looking happy and that worried me. I turned quick and glared at him. "What?" He avoided eye contact and sighed putting his hand sin his pockets and faced me. "There's a group of protesters outside." I turned to the window and felt some anger but mostly happiness._

"_Even some bible thumbing, gay bashing, jerks could not ruin this day James." I turned back to him and he nodded. He reached up and gently patted my cheek._

"_You look handsome kid." I laughed, but put my head down and blushed. "Always so freaking modest."_

"_Shut up jerk." I mumbled under my breath but he laughed and pulled me in tight. I groaned and tried pushing away from his hug but he held the back of my head gently and the other arm wrapped tight around my back._

"_You are about to marry Logan freaking Mitchell. I don't have to tell you how lucky you are. You better treat him right. Protect him, love him and mainly, be happy with him. No guy can do better than Logan Mitchell."_

"_Ahem?" We both pulled away and watched Carlos saunter in, an evil gaze pressing into James. "No guy can do better than Logan Mitchell?" I turned to James and saw him looking up, for the right words._

"_No…I mean…what i was saying…I was just trying…Kendall is nervous."_

"_No guy can do better because you're already taken Carlos." Carlos turned to me and smiled big._

"_That's how you answer that question James. And you don't need to be nervous Kendall. Logan is so excited. He's bouncing off the walls, and is demanding we start." I swallowed hard and looked back at myself in the mirror. I could see sweat on my forehead and I wiped at it quickly. "You have a lot of making up to do." I turned and watched James gently hold Carlos's face, and lean down, kissing him softly. "You're not getting away with it this easily James.." Carlos's eyes closed and his hands reached up grabbing a hold of his jacket. I could tell James was deepening the kiss and I quickly turned away. "James…Kendall." I could see in the mirror, James turning, cheeks red._

"_Let's go get you married Kenny!"_


	23. Chapter 23: I Do

_I Do_

"Dude here." I opened my eyes not even realizing I had fallen asleep. I turned to see James closing his door and handing over a cup of coffee. I yawned and took it from him looking out the windows.

"Are we back in L.A.?" He shook his head and turned the car back on.

"About 30 minutes out. But I was doing at the wheel, and had to get some coffee." I nodded and sipped at the hot coffee. I could taste the vanilla and the rich coffee which burned my tongue but the whip cream up top cooled it some. I lowered it, and set it in the cup holder. "Maybe you should try calling Kendall again." I glanced over at him and watched him sip his own drink while driving out of the Starbucks parking lot. I groaned and pulled out my phone. I didn't want to call him only because if he heard my message by now, he would be really mad, and yell at me over the phone. There was nothing I hated more than having a screaming match over a call. It seemed worse and it hurt worse. But I dialed the number and put it to my ear leaning back in my eat. "He's going to yell no matter what. Get it over with now and just get naked in front of him when you get home. It will help, trust me." I chuckled and laid my head back closing my eyes.

"_Hey you've reached James…" _I groaned and put my phone down, turning it off. "He's not answering. Which means he's so pissed off he packed up and left or…" I froze in my thoughts and felt fear run through my body. "Tim…"

"Logan stop. Kendall is fine." I quickly raised my phone again quickly dialed Matthew's cell. I put it to my ear and squeezed my eyes shut. On the second ring he answered and I let out a shaky breath.

"Pop? Where have you been this morning? Dad didn't seem to happy…"

"Are you with him?"

"No…Carlos took me and Emma shopping. Why? What's wrong?"

"Get back to the house now, and as soon as you get there call me, please Matthew."

"Pop your scaring me. What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Matthew just get home right now!" He went quiet and I rubbed my free hand over my forehead. I don't know why I automatically assumed something was wrong, but I did and I just took it out on Matthew.

"Okay…" He was quiet and hung up fast. I dropped my phone on my lap and looked out the window. James stayed pretty quiet for a few minutes; only noise he made was sipping his coffee. A million thoughts were running through my head and I couldn't stop thinking about Kendall and what I would do without him. Would I ever find love again? Surely not like that. I don't think I'd ever marry, or even look at another man again. What about the kids? How would they…react to having no dad? Would they hate me? Blame me; tell me it was all my fault? Because that's how I would feel. In the end, it would probably be better if I wasn't there either.

I looked over at James and even though I didn't know when I had started, I was crying. "He has him James."

"Stop. You sound ridiculous."

"If something happens to me…please…my kids."

"Logan shut up. Nothing has happened to Kendall. He's fine and you're going to be fine too. Just sit back and calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down James. You don't know what kind of shit this guy can put you through."

"Oh really?" He turned to me while still driving and shook his head. "You are so fucking selfish Logan! You weren't the only one hurt by him! He took my little girl. He pushed me down a flight of fucking stairs! And worst of all I watched him easily rip apart my best friends life. I saw what he did to you Logan! I walked in on it! But never, in these past ten years have either you or Kendall asked if I was okay! Or if I wanted to have a sit down and talk! Even when I was in a fucking cast I was the one picking up the pieces of your husbands shattered life!"

"Fuck you James!" He clenched the wheel of the car and swerved to the shoulder. I clutched onto the door and the rest between our seats and lurched forward when he stepped on the brakes. I heard cars honk as the sped past us and turned to face him. "What is your problem?!"

"You Logan! All you fucking care about is you. Always on your God damn mind is fucking Logan! If you had listened to Kendall in the first God damn place about this sick son of a bitch, we wouldn't be in this position!" I felt my body relaxed and he clenched his fist hitting it hard on the wheel. "Do you even care that Kendall can't ever live a normal fucking life now because all he does if worry about you? And your kids? That every fucking day he wakes up five minutes before your alarm goes off. He makes sure you, Emma and Matthew are all still tucked, sound asleep in your beds." I swallowed hard and looked down. "I didn't think so. And why would you? You never ask him if he's okay. Last night was the first night I watched him fall into your arms and you fucking caught him! Why haven't you been doing that since day one?"

"James! I get it! I'm a piece of shit okay! I know that I've ruined his life and I tried to tell him! I tried to get him to leave so he could find better!"

"There is no one better Logan!" I sat back a little my eyes wide with fear. I had never, ever heard James Diamond yell that loud. And it scared the hell out of me. "Stop living in the past, and worry about your present. You have a man who would go to the end of the world for you. He would fucking die for you. Can you say the same?" His voice was lower and in a way scarier. I turned away and let out a small sob. Everything he's said was right. I sniffled my nose and quickly reached up, wiping my eyes. "I wish I have had your life. I wish I could have arguments with the man I love and make love that night to make up. But I haven't and every day I have lived in the past. Every day, I have lived in regret. And every God damn day I have watched you be happy with him, but while you were happy, he was suffering, because you wouldn't talk to him. You bottle shit up inside and expect everyone to be okay with it when you yell at them and explode. You are selfish. You always have been, and it's about time you change your ways before you lose him Logan." I turned back to him and blinked a couple of times to clear the tears out of my eyes. I was about to reach up and wipe them away but, he beat me to it and gently wiped my face. "Please…there is no one more perfect for each other then you and Kendall, and if you ever think differently again…I swear to God I will hurt you." I closed my eyes and leaned forward pushing into him. He sighed hard and wrapped tight around me. I cried on his chest, not caring that we were on the side of the highway, cars driving by us fast. I don't know why I was so upset but it was overwhelming. "Hey…I think you're phone's ringing…" I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and sobbed again. "What if it's Matt?" I shook my head, heard him sigh and felt him reach in my lap and grab my phone. "Hey Matt...look your dad didn't mean to yell…hey, hey calm down. What's wrong? No Matthew calm down!" I sat up quick and wiped my eyes. I sighed and extended my hand. James turned to me and his eyes grew. "He what?" I sighed irritated and grabbed the phone, yanking it out of his grasp. I wiped my eyes and put the phone to my ear, but was quickly taken back. Matthew was yelling profusely.

"Dad please wake up!" I turned to James and he was checking the traffic to get back on the road. "Carlos do something!"

"Matthew?" The car jerked forward and we were speeding down the highway. "Matt…what's wrong?"

"Pop?" His voice went quiet and I heard a familiar cry in the background. It was Emma and she was sobbing hysterically. "Papa…he's…dads not breathing…his stomach is bleeding…I…" I fell in my seat and felt more tears fall down my face. "Dad? Come on…wake up please…" I turned back to James and watched him swerve through traffic. "Papa come home."

"I'm-I'm on my way Mattie. Put…" I closed my eyes seeing a sigh saying L.A. was 16 miles away still. "Put Carlos on the phone and…make sure your sisters okay." He didn't respond, but I heard movement.

"Logan…I…"

"Put pressure on his wound. Keep trying to wake him up. He-he might be in shock-shock."

"He's not breathing man."

"Carlos put pressure on his wound and keep trying to wake him up." I heard loud sobs and turned to James. He was looking at me but went back to concentrating on the road. "Did someone call 911?"

"Jessie did…there was no one here except Kendall…on the floor. I don't know who did it." I closed my eyes and put my head back.

"I do."

**QUICK QESTION…NEXT CHAPTER WILL EITHER BE IN CARLOS'S OR JAMES'S P.O.V., SO WHO WILL IT BE? YOU GUYS DECIDED!**


	24. Chapter 24: The Rock

_The Rock_

If you've seen enough movies with people who are dying or are dead you know what to expect when something like that actually happens. And having a genius for a best friend, you kind of learn about all these different medical things. Like when someone is bleeding, a lot, you cover the wound, put pressure on it. And you also learn that a head injury is the worst, and it needs to be taken care of first. But no one, not Logan, not all the movies I've seen, and no medical show I've watched with Logan could have prepared for this. No one told me how to stay calm and try to keep my best friend, my…brother, alive while his two kids are in hysterics watching their father bleed out on the floor. You can never be prepared for that. But I'd like to think I'm doing a good job. Although there is no way I could ever get used to the feeling of another human beings blood on my hands. It was cold. So was his skin. I gently slapped his face a couple times while still pressing on the wound. But he was waking up. "Come on Kendall…please wake up…" I whispered right over him and turned my head to try and hear his breath but there was nothing. With my head turned I saw Matthew staring at his dad, while he held his shaking and sobbing older sister. I turned away quick, just wishing Logan would get here. Not that I knew how he'd react. Who knows? Maybe he'd try to get Kendall to wake up. Or maybe he'd give up fast and try to hurt himself. I may know Logan inside out, but I could never come close to understanding why he does some things when it comes to Kendall.

"Papi? The ambulance is here." I sat up still clutching onto Kendall bloody sweater pressing on the still gushing wound. Jessie opened the front door and two paramedics came running in pushing a gurney. I turned quick to see Matthew still looking at his dad, face pale slow tears running down his face. When I heard the extra footsteps, I turned and watched two male paramedics come in. One walked right over to me and gently put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright. You can let him go. You did good." I slowly nodded and let them pull my hands off his stained sweater and gently push me back. One lifted Kendall's sweater and quickly grabbed a small towel. "What happened?" I swallowed hard and shook my head.

"I…I don't know. We came in, and he was on his stomach with a pool of blood under him." The other guy looked over at me and smiled small. He looked back down quick and the other guy looked up at him.

"We need to get him up." They both nodded and quickly grabbed under him lifting him and putting him on the gurney. "It looks like a stab wound. Does anyone know his blood type?" They turned to me and I slowly stood up.

"B negative." They nodded and quickly started pushing him out of the house. I started following, avoiding looking at the kids. "Is he going to be okay?" Kendall still wasn't moving, or breathing and I felt panicked. "Please is he going to be okay?" When they got to the back, they pushed him in with one going in with him. The other shut the doors fast and turned to me.

"Follow us to the hospital." He started turning away but I grabbed his arm.

"Can his kids go with him?" He shook his head and turned fast getting to the driver's side. When I heard the door shut, and even when the engine roared, I stayed where I was. I watched them drive off; unaware that Matthew was walking out to me.

"Carlos? Where are they taking him?" I turned and sighed reaching in my jean pocket grabbing my keys.

"We need to follow them to the hospital. Get your sister." I tried walking past him but he grabbed my arm, hard. I looked at him and he looked mad. Like really pissed.

"Is my dad going to be okay?"

"Matthew go get your sister." He shoved me hard and shook his head.

"Is my dad going to be okay?!" I grabbed his face fast and held him. He tried pushing me away, but I held him tight and watched him close his eyes and sob out. "I don't want to lose him…" I pulled him in tight and hugged him. He grabbed at the back of my shirt and tugged, crying hard. "I don't want to lose him…I want my dad." I closed my eyes and held him against me tighter. I pet the back of his head, not sure what to do. I couldn't lie and tell him he was going to be okay because I didn't know. But I would never tell him he was going to die and he would lose his father. He was still sobbing hysterically and I didn't think there was any chance of him calming down. I opened my eyes and sighed out, calmly. What I really needed right now was James. I needed him to be here, and be strong for me. For Kendall's kids. Just thinking about James made me clutch onto Matthew tighter. What if this was reversed? What if something happened to James, and I couldn't believe that for the past ten years, I've pushed James out of my life, and he pushed me out of his. What if today was our last day together and I didn't get to tell him I loved him? I pulled Matthew tighter against me, and saw Jessie walk out of the house, holding up Emma, who was sobbing still. Jessie closed the door and quickly walked to my car. I slowly, very slowly, walked Matt towards her. He wasn't really using any of his strength which made it harder to hold him up.

"Jessie…I need you to drive." I gave her the keys has she opened up the back door. She nodded and helped me put him in. I started to climb in but Jessie grabbed me and pulled me out. She shut the door but I still heard Emma sobbing in the front, and Matthew crying in the back.

"Papi…I don't…please…you and dad." I pulled her in and hugged her tight. She was thinking the exact same thing as me.

"Get in the back with Matt. I'll drive." I kissed the top of her head and opened the door, gently pushing her in.

We drove quietly. Well as quiet as two kids who just saw their dad bleeding on the floor could be. They were in complete hysterics, and I knew they needed Logan. As I was stuck at a light I quickly pulled my phone out and dialed Logan's cell. It only rang once. "Carlos?" It was James and my throat started to scratch. Every day since we met in the 1st grade, his voice has made my body go into complete hysteria. "Carlos…are you…is…"

"James…" I just barely croaked out his name before I was crying.

"Where is Kendall?"

"On…on his way to the hos-hospital."

"Okay…just…we will be there in no longer than 5 minutes. Are you guys there?"

"On the way…" The light turned green and I turned left quick. The hospital was just down this street but it seemed further and further away.

"Hey…it's going to be okay. Just…stay strong for the kids and when I get there I'll, be there. For you." I nodded and saw the entrance for the hospital and I swerved to the right fast. I pulled in and drove right up to the front. Luckily there was an empty spot right at the front and I parked quickly.

"James…"

"Carlos, get the kids to calm down and just wait for me. I'm on my way." I nodded and closed my eyes and put my head forward resting on the steering wheel. We hung up and I listened to the doors open around me. But there was only two that opened. I heard a soft sigh but continued to sob.

"Papi…Emma and Matthew just ran into the hospital. We…need to be there for them." I nodded and managed to get myself out of the car. I walked, well stumbled beside Jessie who walked me to a seat once inside and quickly ran over to Emma and Matthew who were pleading with a nurse to show them where their dad was. I put my arms on my knees and held my head in my hands. No one prepares you for this type of thing. Everything was going by in a flash. Jessie was trying to get Emma and Matthew to calm down, but nothing was really working. And I was trying to get myself up to comfort them, but my legs wouldn't move. And…how can I help them, when I can't even help myself?

"Matthew? Emma?!" I sat up fast and turned to the door. Logan was running towards us, James not far behind. I stood and turned to them. Logan stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. His face fell and he started crying. He shook his head and put his hands on his forehead. "No…no….please…no." I looked down and realized I was literally covered everywhere, in Kendall's blood. I looked back up at him and he was still shaking his head, whispering no, over and over. James put a hand on his shoulder but it only seemed to make Logan more pissed. He shrugged him off and backed away. "No!" He screamed it causing nurses, doctors, and random people to stop and turn to us. He yelled again, but I don't know what he said. It sounded like another no, but he could have shouted fuck. I felt the tears falling still but it was nothing compared to how Logan was reacting. I made a move towards him but he backed away again. I stopped and watched James walk to him. He got right in front of him and held his shoulders. Logan tried to fight him on it but James pulled him into him tight and didn't let him go. I walked to them and saw Logan's face red, tears running down. His mouth was wide open but no noise was coming out. Not until his body fell against James's and fell to his knees. He screamed out again, and put his head in his hands crying loud. James made a move to kneel down next to him but was slightly pushed away. Matthew and Emma were on either side of him clutching onto him, and crying just as loud. The scene was becoming too much and I looked down at the ground. My shirt and grey sweater was just stained in blood. I lifted my hands and saw them stained as well. I tried wiping them off on my jeans, but they were dried out and the blood was not coming off. Was this a sign? That Kendal was dead? I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. No. How could that be? He was our rock. Not just Logan's and his kids, but mine and James. I looked up fast and saw James staring at me. He was also looking at the blood all over me and when I started walking towards him, he looked up, and locked eyes with me. When I got an inch away from him I pushed hard into him and wrapped around him. He was quick to hold me against his body tight and if that wasn't enough he kissed me. On my head, and he kissed all over it. I wasn't crying as much anymore. Btu there were still a few tears escaping.

"I love you…" My eyes shot open and I pulled away gently. He was looking down at me and reached up, wiping my face. I don't know if it was because of the tears or the blood that managed to get on my face. "I don't want to be without you anymore." Even in this horrible moment, I managed a smile, and so did he. I got on my toes and quickly, but softly kissed his lips. He kissed back, and wrapped tighter around me holding me still because I was shaking. From what who knows. Maybe having to deal with everything, or for the fact that I was back in James's arms. Whatever the reason, he was keeping me still, and he was keeping me sane.

"Mr. Knight?" We pulled away fast and I turned to see a doctor in light blue scrubs, blood covering him a little staring at the three crying on the floor. "I'm afraid I have bad news."


	25. Chapter 25: Face It Alone

_Face It Alone_

"_Bad News…bad news….bad news…" _I was seeing him, but I could not understand anymore words except bad news. Kendall was dead. My Kendall was dead. And I didn't get the chance to tell him I loved him. "_He lost a lot of blood…we couldn't do anything…" _I blinked a couple times and realized Matthew and Emma were staring up at the doctor as well. Matthew wasn't crying anymore, but Emma was in even more hysterics. I looked down, away from the doctor covered in my husband's blood and looked between Emma and Matthew. Matthew was pale, and sickly looking. Emma was beat red, and clutching onto my shirt. I gently started to pet through her hair and she put her head on my chest. I could feel Carlos, James, and Jessie staring at us but I didn't want to see them. James and Carlos still had each other, even if they didn't want each other. Just having that though in my head made something snap. I turned to them fast and saw them standing a few feet apart, both staring at us. I slowly pushed myself up, no one saying anything. Carlos looked down and stepped towards me. He avoided eye contact as he pulled me into his body and held around me. I didn't move to hold him back. I just didn't care.

"Logan…I am so sorry. I will be here for you, forever." I locked eyes with James and he stepped closer too.

"Loges…it's going to be okay…" James sounded, sincere and sweet but it didn't help. I shoved Carlos hard and he fell back into James, who caught him from falling.

"Everything will be okay?! You have the fucking balls to tell me everything will be okay? He's dead James! He's fucking gone! How can it be okay? You insensitive piece of shit!" James looked down and Carlos took a step towards me. I put up my hand and he stopped tears pouring out. "And you! I don't need you forever Carlos! I need him, and only him! And I had him. We were happy and in love and half the time we tried desperately to put you guys back together but your too stubborn to even realize what you had was great! Well I hope neither of you have to go through what I am, or feel what I feel." The whole waiting room was dead silent and I looked around. The doctor was still looking at me hands on his hips. He sighed and took a careful step towards me. "I want to see him." He stopped and I watched him swallow hard.

"Mr. Knight. You need to calm down. You can't see him…not right now."

"I want to see him!" The doctor shook his head and I walked up to him, and pushed him hard. "I want to see him! Let me see my God damn husband!" The doctor grabbed my arm and turned pulling me away. I let him because I knew he was going to take me to see him. He walked me down only one hall before walking in a surgery room. He lightly shoved me in quickly moved out of my way. And just like that, I was in front of Kendall. Kendall's head was turned away from me, but I could tell his eyes were closed. He was shirtless and in the middle of his stomach, was a hole. There was no blood coming out, but surrounding the hole all over his stomach and chest was blood. The doctor let go of my arm, and I did the only thing I could think of. I walked right to operating table and reached down grabbing his face. I lifted his head and sure enough his eyes were closed. My throat made an awful noise and I sobbed out. I held his face, gently, and shook my own. "No….please God no. Don't take him Please I need him." I moved one of my hands down over his left arm and lifted his hand, lacing our fingers together. His wedding band rubbed against mine, and I close m y eyes, putting my head down. I rested it on his bare chest and cried out. My throat cracked and it felt like it was burning. "Kendall…please wake up. You're not gone. You're going to wake up and were going to leave and have another baby. You have to wake up!" I lifted my head and stared down at his blank unmoving face. "Please baby. The kids need their dad. I can't do this by myself! You aren't being fair! You have to wake up. It isn't your time yet! Please! Wake up!" I felt a hand on my back and I shoved it away.

"Sir, you need to leave."

"No!" I screamed it over Kendall, but was directed at the doctor behind me. "No! You need to save him! You need to make him wake up!"

"There is nothing we can do Mr. Knight." I stood up and kept our left hands together while I turned to the doctor. I noticed standing behind him were Emma and Matthew. I wiped my face and shook my head. The doctor walked to me and grabbed my arm again. I started to fight him on it but he was a little stronger than me. He pulled me away and just as my fingers were leaving the gaps between Kendall's they were squeezed tight. I froze but turned my head. I was seeing Kendall's fingers squeeze around my own. His chest rose high and then let down slowly. He went still for a second, but quickly his chest rose again. I was let go of by the doctor who went to his side and quickly opened his left eyelid. Kendall's brilliant green little orb was staring straight up at the doctor. When it moved over to me I lost my breath and had to grip the side of the table so I wouldn't fall. The doctor let go of his eyelid but it stayed open and Kendall opened the other. His mouth opened and he quickly pushed himself up. We were staring at each other and it felt like I was watching a zombie crawling out of a grave.

"Logan?" I put my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. "Logan…"

"Mr. Knight lay back down…Doctor Peterson! He's alive!" I heard fast footsteps run right into the room. I opened my eyes as I was shoved a little. Kendall was being pushed back down on the table as the other three doctors that ran in, started cleaning his wound and putting a mask over his mouth. Kendall's head fell to the side as the first doctor pushed a button on a machine. If I was in my right mind I would have known exactly what they were doing, but I couldn't think of anything except that he was alive. I heard a loud beep and then what sounded like a bunch of air being released. "We need to get a transfusion going. He's lost too much blood. Cover up that wound and get that stich ready." There was loud beeping's and noises all around me and I was pushed a couple times. But I never took my eyes off of him. He wouldn't stop looking at me either, until his eyes started to flutter shut. When they closed completely the panic rose again and I moved over to him.

"Why did his eyes close?!" I was gently grabbed from behind and pulled back.

"We just gave him laughing gas to knock him out so we can operate. Please wait in the waiting room." The doctor nodded and quickly went back to work while I was still being dragged out of the room. When I saw I was completely out, I turned to see James holding onto me, but looking out over my head. He looked like he was very confused and a little unsure.

"Papa?" I turned to the left and saw Emma, who wasn't crying anymore, and Matthew both looking up at me, eyes wide and full of fear. Or was that hope? "Papa…is daddy okay?" I sucked in a hard breath and put out one of my hands out. She walked to it quickly and pushed into me. I wrapped the arm around her and glanced towards Matthew.

"Come here Mattie…" He quickly wiped his face and shook his head. I frowned . "Matt its okay…your dad is going to be fine. Come here." He put his head down and shook it again. "What's wrong Matthew?" Emma raised her head and looked over at him.

"I…I acted like…like a baby." I pulled Emma in tighter and sighed. "I was supposed-supposed to be taking care of you, and Emma like I promised dad…and i…I cried." He let out a sob and rubbed his eyes.

"Matthew no one was expecting you to fill in your dads shoes." I gently pushed Emma towards James who grabbed ahold of her. I walked to Matthew and grabbed him, hugging him. "Your dad is going to be fine. We're going to be fine." He nodded against my chest and I rubbed his back. "I'm sorry I yelled at you on the phone." His arms went up, fast and he hugged me tight. He isn't as tall as Kendall but he definitely gets his strength from Kendall. He knocked me back just a bit but I held us up. I chuckled quietly but I still felt odd. I turned my head and rested my cheek on the top of his head. I was looking in at the room watching all of the doctors work around Kendall, talking and working furiously. He was alive, but at what cost? How bad was this going to be when he woke up again? I knew, right away he'd yell at me, and tell me I was an idiot for leaving. If I hadn't left, he wouldn't have been hurt. Maybe it would have been me, and maybe for once, I wouldn't have care if I got hurt as long as he was fine.

I held Matthew even when James decided we needed to get out of the hallway. A surgery could take up to 4 hours and I didn't want to stand for that long. So I set Matthew down first and took a seat next to him. We were across from Carlos and Jessie who avoided eye contact with me. I could understand. I was a dick. But I was just told my husband was dead. I felt Emma sit next to me and she wrapped around my arm and rested on my shoulder. I raised my other arm and Matthew moved in and rested his head on my chest. I rested my arm on his shoulder and watched James sit next to Carlos. Carlos looked over at him quick and they both smiled small. And very slowly James leaned in and kissed Carlos. It was odd to see. 10 years and they were finally making up. Stubborn assholes. When they pulled away they both turned to me and I raised an eyebrow. James laughed and Carlos put his face in the crook of James's neck.

"What Mitchell?"

"Well how about you explain what just happened, and it's Knight, jerk." James laughed and looked over to see Jessie with her head on Carlos's shoulder. Her eyes were closed but she looked pretty happy, despite being covered a little bit in blood. I turned back to James and nodded. "Good." Carlos looked over at me, well peaked over at me and I smiled. I shook my head and he chuckled. After that everyone went quiet. I think maybe the kids fell asleep, all of them, and maybe even Carlos but I stayed wide awake. I watched everyone walk by not really noticing us. Some stopped to look at Carlos who was covered in Kendall's blood. But no one bothered us. For three hours. I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom, eaten or had water in a lot of hours and stood up stretching. James looked up at me, eyebrows raised. "Bathroom." He nodded and smiled. I turned to walk to the front desk to ask a nurse where the bathroom was when I saw the doctor, Kendall's doctor walking out. I paused and he smiled walking towards me.

"Kendall is awake, coherent, and very persistent on seeing you." I chuckled and nodded. "We'll do it one at a time please." I nodded again and he turned. I followed right behind him. My nerves rising and my heard throbbing. One of two things was about to happen. One, Kendall could be so mad at me he would skip the yelling and tell me he wanted to leave me. Or two we'd have an all-out fight and try to make it work. But he got hurt because of me. There was no way he could forgive me. "He's got blood pumping into him. He lost so much it's going to take some time to refill if you will…so make sure he doesn't do anything to strenuous." As he pushed open the door to another room he sighed and walked in fast. "Mr. Knight! I told you to remain laying down!"

"I'm fine! I have to take a piss!" When the doctor walked out of my view I saw Kendall's bare back. He was trying to get off his bed. I cleared my throat loud and he turned his head quick. He clenched his jaw and looked away. The doctor shook his head and walked back towards me. He went right to the door and I turned to watch him walk out and shut the door behind him. I stared at the door hoping and praying this fight would go back fast. "I can't believe I died." I snapped my head back to him and he was looking down. I didn't really know what to say to that so I just walked over to him slowly. "I mean…they asked me if I remember anything and all I do is seeing white. Like bright blinding white. They were right. You actually do see white and your entire life flash before your eyes." I stopped a few feet away from him and saw a bandage on his stomach. He had a needle in his arm that was hooked to a machine pumping blood into him. "You know they last thing I saw, or heard was you?" I turned and glanced out the window seeing the sun poking through a few clouds. It was trying desperately to show itself. "And believe it or not…it was when we had sex the first time." I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. Of course. Even in death Kendall is a pervert. "You have no idea how completely…intoxicating, moving it is to see you." I opened my eyes and turned to him. He wasn't looking at the ground, but at me now. He shook his head and chuckled. "Sorry I died on you and the kids." That did it for me. I walked over to him fast, pushed his legs slightly open, because they were dangling off the side of the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I held him close to my body, so he couldn't leave me. His arms wrapped around my back, and I pushed the side of his head, into the side of mine.

"I love you Kendall."

"I know."

"No…just listen. The last time we talked I didn't tell you I loved you. And then I found out you had died. So every time I tell you I love you, I want to hear it back. I don't care how mad we are at each other and I don't care if you want to be stubborn."

"Says the stubborn guy who left without telling me." I pulled away slightly and gave him a sad look. He leaned in and kissed me softly, and only for a second. When he pulled away his hands moved to my hips and pulled me closer to the bed. "I love you too Logan Knight and I'm sorry I almost made you face this world alone." He gave a half smile and ran my hands through his perfect blond hair. I never realized how incredible it felt to have his hair between my fingers. Not until now. "How are the kids?"

"Well…they were a mess, but when you woke up, they calmed down." He nodded and moved his hands up and down my sides.

"And you?" I coked my head to the side and he chuckled looking me up and down. "How are you?" I looked down fast and shrugged my shoulders. "Don't you dare do that Logan. I may know how it feels to die but I've never had to know the love of my life has died. Talk to me." I saw his hands move up and soon enough he was holding my face. He lifted it, easily and I sighed. We locked eyes and he raised his eyebrows.

"It was him…wasn't it?" My voice was scary quiet and even as the words came out, I already knew the answer.

"Yeah…" We continued to look at each other and he swallowed hard. "Are you going to do something stupid?"

"Do I ever do something stupid?"

"No. That's; my job." I smiled and turned my head. His hands moved back down to my hips and squeezed them. I felt a kiss to my open neck and closed my eyes. "I don't want you to do anything stupid."

"What do you think I'm going to do?"

"I don't know. But it better be something well thought out like what you usually do, and it better not have anything to do with Tim." I cringed and opened my eyes. He kissed over my ear and finally into my hair before pulling away. I turned and he was half smiling. "I know you too well Logan."

"Shut up…"

**I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO KILL KENDALL…IT WOULD HAVE BROKEN MY HEART! SO SORRY I PUT YOU GUYS THROUGH THAT, BUT NOW IT GETS TO THE END. I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF LOGAN WILL"TAKE CARE" OF TIM, OR IF HE JUST GOES TO JAIL FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE…LET ME KNOW?**


	26. Chapter 26: My Word Is No

_My Word is No_

I was trying really hard not to yell out and push Logan away. But the way were hugging and how hard our bodies were pushed together, made my stomach hurt. Like, really bad. "Babe?" He raised his head and looked at me. The weight of his body was off me but he kept his hands on my body. "I want…something from you." He raised an eyebrow and I chuckled. "I want your word."

"What word?" I smiled and he chuckled.

"Your word that you won't go and find him, and do something." His smile fell and he stepped back a little. "I need to know that while I'm trying to heal you'll stay by my side and keep our kids safe and happy." He turned away from me and I saw his jaw clench. "I need to hear you say you'll let the cops deal with him, and that you stay with me to find a new house and a doctor to have our third child."

"Kendall there are more important things then that right now."

"Yeah? Like what?" He turned back to me and I shook my head. "If you were thinking with a clear head you wouldn't even consider doing what you are thinking about."

"How do you know what I'm thinking about?" He took his hands off me and crossed them over his chest. "I suppose if the roles were reversed I'd have to be okay with you doing something idiotic right?"

"That's not even the point." He huffed out and looked down. "You said when they kids found out I died, they were in hysterics, right?" He nodded still looking away and I shrugged my shoulders. "So you want to put them through the same thing, except it being you in the fucking hospital bed? Or maybe a casket?" He looked up fast and put his arms down hard at his side.

"Tim can't get away with this Kendall!"

"And he won't. Let the cops handle it! Let them do their job!" He snapped his head to the side and I heard a creak. I turned and saw Emma walking in with Matthew behind her. I turned to face Logan who glared back at me. "I won't let you go."

"How are you going to stop me?"

"I will." We both turned and watched Matthew walk over. He stared down Logan, and for the first time Matthew was taking my side instead of Logan's.

"How long were you guys listening?" While they continued to stare at each other Emma rushed over and got on my bed beside me, hugging me. She avoided my stomach which I was grateful for.

"Enough to know that you want to do something to the guy who hurt dad, and if I have to I will not sleep or do anything to make sure you don't." I saw Logan frown and shake his head but I remained looking at Matthew. Yeah, he had my hair and my green eyes and we were built the same way, but his attitude and the way he talked just like Logan. It was irritating as shit but I loved both of them for their need to be heard and respected.

"I am the parent Matthew. You can't order me around." Logan turned to me and shook his head. "What did you do when you found out he had me?"

"Logan he didn't try to kill you. Then. But who's to say he won't take the chance now? I mean, he killed me. He even set our house on fire. You don't know what this creep will do next."

"Yes I do Kendall. He's a creep and a lunatic, but he wouldn't kill me."

"Don't be so naive Logan. You're smarter than that." He went quiet and I still held Emma as I turned to Matthew. "Go get James."

"Why so I can have a babysitter?" Logan glared at me and I felt my temper rising. I shook my head and turned to Emma.

"Both of you go wait outside, and tell James I want to talk to him in a few minutes." Emma looked between us, but when she saw Matthew turning and leaving she jumped off my bed, kissed my cheek and then Logan's before walking out. When the door shut I glared at Logan. "Go lock the door." He huffed and walked to it. When I heard it click I quickly took the bandage off my wound. The tape ripped at my skin but I didn't care. When he got back in front of me, he stopped and stared at the nasty line of stiches. "Go ahead. Go be a tough guy and take care of it like a big man. I'll be here, in the hospital trying to figure out why God risked my life." He looked up at me and I could see his eyes soften. "While I lay here, worry about you, try to explain to Matt and Emma why their father would leave to do something like that, I hope you get some kind of fulfillment by what you're doing." He closed his eyes and turned away. His whole body, he just turned it to not face me anymore. "I heard you, when you called and left the message on the machine. I had to listen to him taunt me, saying what a joke it was that you and I were together. I know what he's thinking Logan. I know that when he finds out that he didn't kill me, he's just going to find another way to do it. And what if the next time it actually happens?" he didn't make any sound or any movements. "What's the point…you're not listening…" I closed my eyes and turned my body. I lay back fast and breathed in hard.

"I've never been that scared Kendall." I opened my eyes and watched him turn to face me. "I know you understand, because he's ruined more than my life. Yours, James and Carlos's. Do you know what that kind of guilt does to someone?" He threw his hand sup in the air and looked at the ceiling. "All of this is my fault. And if you know me as well as you think you do, you will let me deal with this in my own way."

"So killing someone, going to jail is how you're going to deal with it?"

"Yes." I sat up and he started walking away but I grabbed him quick. He tried yanking out of my grasps but I pulled him hard. Our faces were inches apart and he tried still to get out of my hand.

"You. Are . Not. Leaving." He narrowed his eyes and before I could do anything, he was kissing me. Hard. And rough. His hands went up to hold my face and my neck. I grabbed his shirt and aggressively tugged on it. He raised his hands I ripped it off. While we were separated he managed to climb on my bed and straddle my legs. He pushed me down hard by the chest and I worked on his zipper on his jeans. With it down I reached in, and pulled him out. He was already hard. As soon as my hand came in contact with him he put his head and back and moaned out. I pumped him slowly watching how he reacted. We haven't had that much sex in a while and I wanted to make this all for him. His fingers dug into my chest and although I was kind of in pain, I didn't mind. As long as he wasn't walking out of the door, I didn't mind.

"I'm so close…" I watched his face carefully as I picked up the speed and he dug his fingernails into my skin. My other hand grabbed ahold of his hip and squeezed hard. He groaned out and just like that he was slumping forward, and panting and groaning. My hand moved up to his back as the other one held ahold of his still dripping cock. He started kissing all over my neck and shoulder and moved his own hands down our bodies, avoiding my stiches, and gently pushed my hands away. He turned into me quick and kissed me hard. I forced his mouth open and shoved my tongue inside. Just as it was getting good and he was moving his hand down to my now raging hard on, there were three sharp knocks at the door.

"Guys?" It was James and Logan jumped off me quick, putting himself back in his jeans. He grabbed a tissue from the Kleenex by my bed, and cleaned up my lower stomach. He tossed it in the trash and grabbed his shirt on the floor. He slipped it on, tossed the blanket over me, covering my erection, and walked briskly to the door. When it opened, James shoved himself in and walked right to my bed. He grabbed my shoulders, lifted me and hugged me tight. "Don't you dare scare me like that again jerk." I chuckled and watched Logan walk over on the other side of the bed and smile at us, but mostly me.

"Sorry James." I grinned at Logan who laughed silently and looked away wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. James pulled away and sighed shaking his head.

"Matthew tells me we're having a small problem with someone wanting to leave and kill this bastard?" Logan shook his head and sat on the edge of my bed taking my hand.

"I wanted to but Kendall talked some sense into me." I saw him give a quick wink and turn to James. "Don't worry buddy."

"Oh I'm not. Because I want to go with you." I snapped my head to him fast and dropped my mouth to the floor. "Don't give me that look Ken. If anyone is going to be killing this son of a bitch, it's going to be Logan, and I want to be there to help him." I turned to see Logan staring at James and giving him a weird look.

"James, shut up okay. He's not going and neither are you."

"And what are you going to do to stop us?" James crossed his arms over his chest and I sat up, un-able to believe what I was hearing. "Would you really want Logan going by himself?"

"I'd rather he didn't go at all. And you too."

"Yeah well I'm not your husband." I looked over at Logan who was still looking at James. He finally blinked and turned to me.

"James is right." Logan got up turned quickly and walked right out the door. James backed towards the door putting up his hands.

"Sorry man. It has to be done."

**I TOLD SOMEONE THAT IN THIS CHAPTER THAT YOU WOULD FIND SOMETHING OUT THAT ONLY YOU THOUGHT ABOUT, BUT I JUST DIDN'T GET IT IN. IT DIDN'T FIT WITH WHAT HAPPENED HERE SO…PLEASE BE PATIENT? I LOVE YOU…**


	27. Chapter 27: Luck Has Everything

_Luck Has Everything to do With it_

"How do we even start to find him?" James was right behind me, but I ignored him. I walked down the halls walking right into the waiting room. Matthew stood up fast and glared at me. I was in no mood for him to try to fight me on this so I headed straight for the door.

"Pop!" I heard running and before I could push the door open Matt was in front of me. "You can't do this! What if he hurts you?" I gently grabbed his shoulders and pushed him to the side. I hit the door hard and it flew open. "Dad you can't do this!" I turned to make sure James was still following me, and he was, pulling out his car keys. I stopped letting Matthew run to me and grab my arms. "It isn't worth it. Let the cops take care of him."

"It's not that simple Matthew!" He frowned and looked down. I took his hands off my arms just as my phone vibrated in my front pocket. I groaned and quickly pulled it out. I was expecting to see a hospital number but it was just a weird random number. I almost declined it when something hit me. What if it was Tim? I answered quick and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hello Logan." I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away from Matthew. "I hope…I just hope I've made you proud."

"How could you have done that?"

"Simple really. He was in my way. But now he's not…" I shot open my eyes and swallowed hard. He didn't know he was alive. "So…now where do we go from here? I mean…we could make it fun game and I can find you myself. Or if you'd like to risk your children's lives, you could just come to me."

"Where are you?" He went quiet on the other end and I turned to James motioning for him to leave. He nodded and led me down the first ro of cars to his own.

"You're actually going to come to me? That just takes the fun out of it baby."

"Tell me where you are." I said it through gritted teeth and he chuckled.

"Where it all started of course…I'll see you soon Logie Bear." I hung up fast and shoved my phone back in my jeans.

"Where is he?'

"His old house. Where it started." James nodded running to the driver's side. I heard more footsteps. I turned and stopped, making Matthew run right into me. "Go back inside. You're not coming."

"Like hell I'm not." He got right in my face and glared at me. "I follow by explain dad. I do what you do." I felt a rush of pride coarse through my body. I reached behind me and pulled open the back door. I moved out of the way and he climbed in. I slammed the door and hated that he is just as stubborn as me and Kendall combined. I jumped in the passenger seat and buckled myself in.

"Why is Matthew coming?"

"Just drive James." He shook his head, but backed out of the spot and sped off. The car was dead quiet, no one really knowing what to say. I was beyond mad. At myself, at Tim, at Matthew and of course Kendall. Why Kendall thought he had any right to tell me what to do was beyond me. I just wanted to end this once and for all and I was going to take a page out Tim's book. Literally. I was ogling to do this, by any means necessary. Just pulling onto my old street sent chills up and down my spine. I was actually considering not doing this, but something strong was keeping me there. And it had to do with Kendall. When James slowly stopped in front of the dark, terrifying house I sat back and closed my eyes. I kept repeating in my head that I had to be brave and I had to do this. Hearing it over and over, seemed to really help and I pushed my eyes open. I turned to see James looking at me.

"You sure about this Loges?"

"Are you backing out James?" He chuckled and looked to the front. I could see his eyes dart to my old house but quickly back to the street. "If I don't do this now, he'll never stop. Not in prison, under the supervisor of the police. He has to be…" I stopped and tuned my head quick. Yapp I really did let my 14 year old son come with me to face a deranged psychopath. "Matt you are to stay in this car do you understand me?"

"I'm not ogling to let you get hurt." I groaned and turned my body some more. "You let me come this far, why stop me now. Come on lets go." He unbuckled himself and pushed open his door. He was behind me, which meant he was right next to the house. I jumped out quick tripping on my shoes and grabbed his arm. He sighed but stayed put. James was by my side quick and I was wishing, instantly, that I had listened to Kendall. Again. "It looks empty." Matt's voice was a whisper and I quickly scanned the front porch.

"He's probably inside, downstairs. This place hasn't had residents in 10 years. No one wants to live in a lunatics house." Matt looked over at James and nodded. "Just do me a favor kid. Stay behind me. Your dad would kill me if I let something happen to you."

"Which one?"

"Does it matter at this point?" I glared between them and James chuckled. "Now or never Logan. I wouldn't mind beating this creeps face open a couple times." He started walking, Matthew walking next to him, and I followed quick. When they got to the door James forcefully shoved the door open. It smacked against the wall and I jumped clutching onto James's arm. He continued walking in and I managed to put Matthew behind me. He tried to fight me on it but when we all heard a floor board creak he gave in and went still behind me.

"My, my, my…I am impressed Logan. Not only are you here…you brought a toy." Tim came into view and all the fears, the heartache and the pain came back into my body. He had a hideous scar along his neck that made him that much more horrifying. "How's Carlos doing James?" James made to move forward, but I stopped him. Tim laughed and walked slowly to our right side, where his living room was. I tried to shield Matthew but Tim saw him already. "Awe, and you brought the little clone of Kendall. Now that makes me happy." I stood completely in front of Matthew who grabbed the back of my shirt. "You look a little peaked Logan. Do you want to lie down? I can make you some tea of you want. I know you like honey and lemon…"

"I don't want any tea Tim." He nodded and continued to walk. "I want you to stop." He stopped walking and I shook my head. "No…I want you to leave me and my family alone. Please Tim." He laughed and turned to walk back the other way.

"You came all the way down here to tell me to leave you alone? What's the point of that now? Kendall's gone…which is kind of pathetic you think? I mean the little bitch didn't even fight me."

"My dad isn't dead!" Matthew lunged forward but James grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. He forced him behind him but I was more worried about Tim. His entire body froze and his face fell. I glanced to James and he was eyeing him closely. I turned just in time to see Tim turn back to face us.

"Son of a bitch doesn't know when to quite does he?"

"My dads more of a man then you will ever be!" I glanced back at Matthew and clenched my jaw putting a finger to my lips. He looked away and tried to look around James.

"He is defiantly your son Logan." He chuckled and pulled out a phone. "You know I had a feeling something like this one happen. SO I prepared." He raised the phone and turned it to face us. "If I press this green button, my friend gets a message. In that message I will give him specific instructions to find Kendall, kill him and bring his dead body to me so I can light it on fire and watch him get out of my life, finally."

"Please! Don't Tim!" Tim smiled and let his thumb hover over the button.

"I told him. I told him exactly what I would to do him, but he didn't listen. I mean…first the fire. That was a dead giveaway that said I wanted to see his body burn. And then after shoving the knife into his stomach we heard your phone call, and I wanted to show him "warmth". He probably doesn't remember it, but while he died on the ground. I stood over him, and started making this neat little bomb. I was going to attach it to his shirt, but I heard someone pull up, so I ran. How in the hell did he survive?"

"He's tough." James was tense and all I wanted was for him and Matthew to keep their mouths shut.

"So am I to assume this correctly? That he'd be at the nearest hospital?" He got his thumb closer to the button and I stepped forward.

"Tim please…" He stared at me and shook his head.

"He'll just be in the way. He'll never stop. He has to know. He has to know that you don't belong to him." I took another step and he looked at the phone. "I need to do this Logan. To show you that I love you." As his thumb got closer, I did probably the dumbest thing ever.

"Tim. If you really did love me, you wouldn't do this. I'm asking you as a favor, and in return, I'll do anything." He glanced up at me and I continued to get closer.

"Logan no!" Tim looked behind me and breathed out hard. He got closer to the button again.

"James leave! Take Matthew and leave!" Tim turned back to me and his face softened. "Tim…please…do this for me. You don't have to hurt him or worry about him anymore, because I…I'll stay with you." Every single breath stopped in the room and my heart sank. "I'll be with you, if you promise not to hurt Kendall, my kids, or James and Carlos and their daughter. Please Timothy." I was finally close enough to grab the phone but I didn't want to take the chance until I knew I had his trust. "We can go anywhere you want. I'll do anything for you, just do not hurt them." His hand slowly lowered, and I reached up (hating myself) and cupped his face. His eyes closed and I heard struggle behind me.

"Logan stop it!" I shook my head and with Tim's eyes closed I used my other hand to motion for them to leave. "Logan! You're fucking nuts!"

"Tell Emma I love her Matthew, and always know I love you too."

"Dad…please…stop…" I used every ounce of strength to not turn around and run to him holding him tight, but I was doing this to protect Matthew. Tim opened his eyes and I gave a small smile. He smiled back and reached up cupping my face. Again I was completely disgusted with myself, but did my best not to show it.

"You'll do anything for me?" It was barely a whisper but I nodded. He smiled bigger and out of the corner of my eye I saw him close his phone, making me feel relieved, and he put it in his front pocket. But that wasn't it. He reached behind him, and quickly pulled out a gun from his back. I jumped slightly and he grabbed my arm fast. He spun me around so I was facing Matt and James. James's mouth was wide open and Matt was silently crying. I saw the gun raise in front of me as Tim kissed along my ear and neck. "Kill them." I tensed up and shook my head. "You said you'd do anything."

"You promised you wouldn't hurt them."

"Yes baby…I promised I wouldn't hurt them. Doesn't mean you can't." I squeezed my eyes shut and felt him grab my arm from the front and raise it. I felt cold metal touch my palm and I jerked away. "Logan…were so close…as long as we take care of everyone who doesn't want us together we can be happy together." I tried to push away from him, but he wrapped tight around my body and squeezed while still kissing my neck, and into my hair. "Just pull the trigger and we can finally start our lives together."

"Tim no…please." I opened my eyes to see James covering Matthew perfectly. Tim stopped kissing my head, and tightened his grip on me. How I got myself in this situation baffles me. I thought I was being smart. I thought I was going to be able to beat him. But…I can't.

"What is that?" I froze and locked eyes with James. He turned his head to the door and then I heard it. It was siren. "You called the cops? Baby, baby, baby…" He kissed my ear and raised the gun again. "Bad mistake. And since I have you now anyway, there is nothing wrong with doing this." He coked the gun and I tried desperately to get my arms free but he was too strong.

"Tim! Stop! I love you too much to let you do this!" He froze and lowered the gun again.

"What are you talking about?" He licked up my neck to my ear and I cringed.

"If you kill them…and the cops find you, they will take you away again. Take you away from me. I don't want you to go away again." The words tasted like venom coming out of my mouth but I had to. The sirens were closer and I needed to hold on just a little longer. "Tim…it would be pointless to kill them. They can't do anything to stop us, or else they would have already. We don't need to worry about them anymore. Let's just go…" He was starting to loosen his grip on me, but tightened up again, hearing the tires screech outside. This time when he raised the gun it wasn't at James. It was at me. He put it right on my chest. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, without my permission.

"If I go…you're coming with me this time Logan. I can't be without you." He kissed into my ear and I put my head back yelling out.

"Someone please help us!" He pushed the gun harder into my chest and I heard car doors being slammed. "Tim please don't!"

"I'll see you on the other side babe…" there was a loud gun shot and our bodies fell to the ground. We landed on our sides, and he still had his arm wrapped around me. My ears hurt and I couldn't hear anything. Everything was black and all I felt was cold. Cold liquid. Except it wasn't coming from my chest. But that's where the gun was. And he pulled the trigger because I heard it. Was this what it felt like to be dead.

"Dad!" I opened my eyes and saw Matthew being held back by a cop. Next to him was James also being held back by a cop. Tow more cops were running towards me, guns raised. As they got closer I could see they weren't normal cops. They were SWAT.

"Sir are you okay?!" One of them kneeled down in front of me and practically tossed Tim away from me. I heard his gun hit the ground and I looked to see the blood on it. My blood. But there was no blood. I glanced up at the cop and he took out a flash light. "Sir are you hurt?" I shook my head slowly and he put down his gun and flashlight. He put a hand under my head and one under my shoulder. He lifted me effortlessly and I quickly scanned the room. There were two more cops walking to the left of me and I dared a glance. It was Tim. He was on his back but in the moonlight I could see the puddle of blood by his head. One of the cops turned his head and just as clear as day, there was a gaping hole in the side, right by his temple. I turned quick and scooted away. The SWAT guy grabbed my shoulder and shielded Tim with his body. "It's alight…you're okay." I looked up at him and felt my lungs burning. "First time seeing a gunshot wound?" I nodded slowly and he nodded back. "Get them out of here." He stood up and I was picked up form the back. When I turned I saw Matthew being dragged out and quickly followed out. When we were on the grass I gently grabbed Matthew and he collided into my body. He wasn't crying or doing anything, just clutched onto me. I held him just as tight and saw James standing behind him. We locked eyes and he shook his head.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I closed my eyes and put my chin on Matt's head. "He was going to kill you Logan! Oh my God! We need to start listening to Kendall…seriously…he's going to kill us!"

"Lay off my dad James!" I pulled away and watched Matt turn to face him. "Just shut up and be proud of what he just did!" Matt turned back to me and pressed into me again. I couldn't help the grin forming seeing James glare at the back of Matt's head.

"God damn-it that kid is just like Kendall! Ridiculous!" James threw up his hands and walked to the sidewalk taking a seat on the edge. I heard someone walk behind me and turned to see the guy form inside walking to me, taking off his helmet. He was completely covered in SWAT gear, with guns popping out everywhere. He stepped in front of me and smiled.

"This your son?" He pointed ot Matt and I nodded. "SO then…you're Logan Knight? Matthew Knight and James Diamond over there?" I nodded slowly and he chuckled. We got an urgent call from a Miss Emma Knight. She said she overheard you talking about coming here to kill a man who stabbed your husband. She told us to stop you, because she didn't want to see more of her family hurt." Matthew pulled away and looked up at the guy. "So we tracked you down and when we got out, we saw a man, holding another man with a gun pointed to his chest, so we shot. No need to thank us for taking care of him for you." He shield and nodded putting his helmet back on, and walking away. I quickly followed after and grabbed his arm. He turned and I shook my head.

"How did you know that it wasn't an innocent person?" He laughed and had me follow him to the edge of the grass. He turned me to face the house and I could see the hole that the bullet made, while going through the glass window. He pointed to it and stood behind me.

"From this angle we saw you. Your daughter told a specific description. The first thing I noticed was the small frame and white shirt. I took my shot and hit the man behind you. It was actually a pretty lucking ass shot." I looked up at him and he shrugged his shoulders. "Trust me. It's much better that we did it instead of you. We can't go to prison. You can." He gently clapped my shoulder and walked off. I looked back at the house and felt someone get on either side of me.

"Lucky ass shot." I turned to face James who was shaking his head. "You and Kendall have a serious angle watching over you." He put a hand on my shoulder while Matthew leaned against my other.

**SO…WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S OVER!**

_T_


	28. Chapter 28:Epilogue

_Epilogue_

I was going to have no nails by the end of this process. If I knew what it felt like to actually get someone pregnant…I'm sure it would feel like this. Just knowing what was happening behind that closed door was enough to make me go insane. I just wanted everything to right. I wanted everything to be perfect. And because I had a schedule made it that much more worse.

"You know if James sees your shirt wrinkled he will kill you." I looked up and watched Logan walk to me, passing me a foam cup. I took it, looking inside and bit my bottom lip. "You act like this is your first time or something." One of his hands lazily grazed the back of my head while he held his own cup. He crossed one leg over the other putting his foot on his knee. He rested his cup on his leg and sat back.

"What if something goes wrong?" I glanced back at him and he chuckled sipping his coffee. When he put the cup back down I sat back making his hand run up through my hair. "If James finds out you messed up my hair, he'll kill you." He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not afraid of James Diamond."

"It's not going to be Diamond after today…" I looked straight ahead and smiled. "James Diamond-Garcia."

"He's still going to be Diamond to me, like he still calls me Mitchell." I laughed and sipped my coffee. "Have you heard from him?" I shook my head and reached over, putting my hand on his thigh.

"I told him I would call if we were going to be late, and I told him if he gave me any shit, I'd ruin his day." Logan sighed and started tracing his fingers all around the back of my neck. "I know this is really important to him and Carlos but this a big day for us too."

"Kendall…you have no idea how freaking cute that is." I laughed and shook my head.

"What is?" He sat up and leaned forward putting his leg down.

"You. I mean when we had Emma…you were so scared and afraid of being a bad dad. The Matthew came and you were like…I got this…and now…" He glanced back at me and smiled. "You are afraid again, but have this attitude that if something ever happened to our child, our new child, you'd go postal." I laughed and nodded.

"That's because I would. I don't like when my family is threatened."

"You're family isn't threatened."

"And I don't like when my family is put in danger." We locked eyes and he sat up straight. I could see him swallow hard and I looked away, knowing where this conversation was about to go. Just thinking about it, made my stomach hurt.

"I know you're sick and tired of hearing me say this, but I'm sorry, and no one can hurt us ever again." One of his hands rested gently on my knee and slowly rubbed over it.

"I know Logan. But the fear and the paranoia is still there." His hand stopped moving and I glanced around the very empty doctor's office. No one was here for that exact reason. I didn't have a lot of trust in strangers, so all the nurses and doctors were the only ones here. And I didn't even want them in the waiting room with us. We had the whole place to ourselves except for the two behind the white closed door. I stared at the door for a second before turning to Logan. He was looking at me, not really sure what to say and leaned towards him. Our faces were a few inches apart and I saw him close his eyes. "Does it bug you that I'm like this?"

"Isn't it my fault your like this?" I kissed his nose quickly before putting my forehead on his. You remember when you promised me you would never let anything happen to me again?" I nodded against him and he opened his eyes. "I'm making you that same promise." I smiled and nodded slightly again. He leaned in this time and kissed my lips softly. In the midst of our slow, sweet, tender kiss, I heard a door open and turned sitting up. When I saw the doctor walk out, one hand on the small of her back, I stood up fast, Logan doing the exact same thing.

"You guys didn't have to dress up for me." I smiled at her and she walked over to us, giving Logan a hug first. When she moved to me, I wrapped around her and kissed her head.

"You okay?" She nodded and patted my cheek.

"You are our freaking savior Sara." She turned to Logan, cheeks blushing hard. I took the chance to look at her one more time. If there was a person more perfect for us, we didn't need her, because Sara had everything. She had beautiful long blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a perfect history of health. She was a little on the short side, but was a star athlete in school. She had a heart of pure gold and a brain just like Einstein. She was perfect in every sense, and now she was howling our baby.

"Well it was a pleasure having your semen implanted in me Logan." Did I mention she was a complete smart ass? She turned to me and grinned. "I have a feeling this kid is going to give me hell just because it knows who its parents are."

"DO you mind not calling our baby and it?" I wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulder and he crashed into me frowning at her.

"Well I don't know what it is, boy girl, so it's going to be an, it for now." She beamed at him and he shook his head wrapping around me. I turned to the doctor who was getting papers form a nurse. He walked to me and extended his hand. I took it and shook.

"She is all set to go. Everything went smoothly and I will be seeing you guys in the next week or so." I nodded and he shook hands with Logan. He got a hug form Sara who smiled big at him. She turne3d back to us and opened her purse pulling out her phone.

"Well I have to be going, but I will call you guys tonight, to let you know I got home safe and…yeah." I nodded and Logan moved in quick to give her another hug. She snorted in her laugh and hugged him back. "Have fun at the wedding!" She waved as she walked out of the office to us and I waved back, wrapping around Logan again.

"We shouldn't have let her drive Kendall." I rolled my eyes and picked up my jacket off the back of my chair. I slipped it on brushing off my shirt and my shoulders. I picked up his, ad gave it to him. When he took it I grabbed our empty cups of coffee and tossed them. "Seriously…what if something happens?" I grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together and led him out. I took a left and headed for the stairs.

"I thought I was supposed to be the one who worried?" I glanced at him as we walked down and he watched the steps carefully. "You act like this is your first time or something." He glared at me and quickly slapped my arm. I laughed pulling him into me, hugging him tight against my body.

The whole car ride all we could talk about was all the new things we were going to get. He was already planning on painting the babies room, and to make it easier, we decided on a neutral color. Yellow. When I parked in front of the house, and we got out, I could hear soft music and people talking. I took his hand and started leading us up, but he stopped me and turned me to face him. He chuckled and went to work on straightening my bow tie. I watched him stick his tongue out, while doing so, and when he deemed it done, he patted my chest, stood on his toes and kissed me softly. He pulled away, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the front door. We walked up the steps and before he could open the door it swung open. James was beaming at us and quickly pulled us in.

"I almost called but then I heard your crappy brakes."

"Just because it's your wedding day doesn't mean I won't kick your ass Diamond." He grinned at me and separated Logan and I."

"Carlos wants you. So, go, so we can get started!" He pushed Logan tot eh hall and he turned flipping him off before disappearing behind the wall. "Okay now that he's gone. I have it for you." I smiled and he walked us into a far corner. He shielded me with his body and quickly pulled out a small box out of his pocket. "I think Carlos was a little suspicious but he didn't ask because well…today." I nodded and took the box from him.

"Thanks for holding it for me. Logan would lose his mind if he found it." He nodded and clapped my shoulder. "So how are you feeling?" He shrugged his shoulders and started fixing his hair in the glass of the window.

"I feel fine. I've done this once. And it's with my man, so…can't complain much." I smiled and nodded. "How did it go?"

"She's healthy, happy with a 98% chance of it actually working so…we wait until next week." He nodded and gently patted my shoulder. "Carlos got babies on the mind, like the first wedding?" James rolled his eyes and put his hand sin his pockets, before moving and leaning against the wall next to me.

"Well…he's having empty nest problems. I don't know, Jessie's moving to New York for her internship, and he keeps making excuses for her to stay one more day…so if I would assume correctly, yes he does have them on his mind." I laughed and looked around. They were getting married at Carlos's beach house, which were now both of their houses. It was literally right on the beach with no other house around for a few miles on either side. It wasn't a mansion, but it wasn't small either.

"Dad?" I turned to see Matthew walking in, smiling ear to ear. His jacket of his tux was buttoned up and he sauntered over to us. "I guess Carlos is ready…and I just got a date for Saturday night." I frowned and he shrugged his shoulders putting his hands in his pockets. "One of Emma's friends from school. I'm going out with a senior!"

"She's technically not a senior yet…it's still summer." Matt glared at him and I chuckled.

"What's her name?" He turned to me and his smile fell and his eyebrows scrunched together, in confusion. "You did get her name right?" His arms darted around the room as if her name would be written everywhere. "Matthew Donald Knight!" I slapped the back of his head, and he raised his hands rubbing the back of his head.

"She smelled so pretty and has really big boobs!" I hit the back of his head again and he quickly moved out of my reach. "I'll get it alright!" I slapped my hand onto my forehead and heard James laughing beside me.

"Daddy?" We all turned to see Jessie walking in, a knee length flowy red dress. "Are you ready?" James walked over to her, kissed her cheek and nodded. She smiled and put out her hand. I pushed Matthew to her and they linked arms. "See you down there!" She waved back at us and pulled Matthew along. I turned to James and he sighed out, brushing down the front of his jacket. We both started walking through the living room and kitchen until we stopped at the two French doors leading out to the backyard, and beach. I put a hand on his shoulder seeing Carlos standing down at the end of the isle under the white alter. Logan was standing behind, beside him and they were both talking and laughing about something. I smiled and felt a nudge to my ribs.

"Ready best man?" He raised his eyebrows and I chuckled nodding. "Now…don't go stealing my thunder by asking him to renew his vows during my ceremony or something, okay? Wait tell the reception." I nodded and he sighed looking back out.

"Let's go get you married James." I linked his arm with mine, and we stepped out making everyone turn their heads.

**SO? I MEAN…I THINK THIS IS CUTE…BUT…I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING HERE WHERE I CAN USE IT FOR A THIRD INSTALMENT OF THE STORY? OR WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH? LET ME KNOW AND THANK YOU A BUNCH TO EVERYONE FOR READING THIS AND LIKING IT SO MUCH! YOU GUYS ARE MY MUSE!**


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